Mommie Dearest the musical — Page 2

The bedroom raid should last an hour on stage. I would probably laugh so hard that I'd stop breathing.

Hell, even when I put the DVD on dubbed in French I can't control it.

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Act 1 can end with a heartbreaking closer ballad with young Tina explaining her anguish to a nun and Joan leaving. But then again, Joan needs to close it cause how can you not, so maybe they can pull up some unused material from the book to surprise all of us who obsess over the movie, but never read the out-of-print book.
Act 2 HAS to open with the Understanding monologue. Ohh I could see it already

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C, remember Christina is sent away twice - once to the Chadwick School for Spoiled Children of Celebrities and then to a convent on top of a mountain. That's where she befriends a nun and mistakes herself for one right until she meets "Daddy" by the pool.

Other parts of the book that should be incorporated into the musical:
- Joan punishing Christina for wearing her coat in class by insisting that she go to school wearing nothing but the coat and panties.
- Joan harassing Christina while Christina is away at boarding school and the convent, esp. with letters about what a "wonderful time" the family is having without her. Christina even describes a little dance of frustration/rage she does in response to this, and it ends with her banging her knee against the bedpost and then collapsing in a fit of tears and pain. This letter MUST be included: "Christina dear, Thank you for your sweet letter. I am glad you liked the earrings. The reason I had them boxed in two boxes was that one was for your birthday and the other was your graduation present."
- Christina goes to see some of Joan's B 1960s horror movies and then calls her to tell her what a "terrible job" she did in them all. Joan hangs up and later gets back at Christina by stealing her role on the soap opera. Actually, this is from another book, but it might as well be incorporated.
- Joan drunkenly tries to break down her frighten maids' doors to molest them.
- The woman (Sorkie?) Joan forces the children to talk to over the phone every time they she gets mad at them, so that Sorkie can reprimand them for things she isn't even sure they did.
- Joan forcing Christopher to stay in jail for (months?) when she could easily bail him out, for a crime that really wasn't a big deal.
- Joan has the floors painted white and polished so sparkly-shiney that unsuspecting guests slip when they enter.
- Joan's Christian Science, for additional contemporary relevance.

Updated On: 6/5/06 at 03:35 PM

It could be sung before being hospitalized and could be like Lot's Wife with the rising emotion, loud release, then sorrowful finish. It might even garner sympathy, almost like in Evita with Eva's final broadcast and lament. Then with the information coming out of the will in the last minutes, people would hate her again and realize she got the last laugh on the audience.
The song would be so crazy, it would be another AIATY with her blowing out her vocal chords by the end of 6 months and she would have to miss nearly every other performance.

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The Curtain should be hung on a giant WIRE HANGER.

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