My parents dont want me to have a career in theatre- Page 2

[i love idina]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 5:00pm

thanks so much for your encouragement, this is a really hard decision becuase i will regret it if i dont but i dont want to ruin my relationship with my parents either

[Roninjoey]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 5:29pm

You gotta leave the nest someday.

[EganFan2]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 6:24pm

I was shot down when I wanted to major in theater, too. I have a degree in English and I am thinking about getting another degree in theater and teaching. I find I am much more interested in stagecraft than I am in finding the themes in Piers Plowman. But if it doesn't work out, I love English lit enough to be happy teaching that.

[jonartdesigns]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 6:35pm

my parents made the following deal with me; they said as soon as I finish getting my degree in advertising they'd be fully supportive of me doing theater. Basically you need something to fall back on as opposed to waiting tables or working in starbucks.

[i love idina]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 7:16pm

yeah im really interested in marketing so i guess it won't hurt to major in business and then minor in theatre, but i still have a little while to think about it! keep posting the good advice i really value everyone's opinions

Posted: 4/14/06 at 11:13pm

read aaron lazar's blog regarding this too..
its awesome.
i never did the college thing to have something to fall back on because i didn't EVER want to fall back on it...there was nothing i wanted more..there was nothing else i could POSSIBLY see myself doing...there was nothing else that made me feel alive.
do i regret not having a fall back plan? i don't know..sometimes...there were times when things were EXTREMELY difficult but i was willing to be VERY poor, be a hostess a restaurant where they gave us one VERY good meal per shift...otherwise, i ate mac and cheese and tuna and salad..i was so thin back then..but i digress..
here is the deal...if you are the kind of person who likes really nice things...wants a nice car, house, electronics..all the comforts of life..going out to nice retaurants, traveling...then get a degree in something to fall back on. if those are the things that really make you happy and satified in life acting may not always be able to offer that to you. if you're really willing to struggle and starve and do awful jobs to get by until you get a break..then go for it.

basically, if acting/performing isn't the air you breathe and something that makes you SOOO hungry to do..and i mean REALLY hungry..not JUST a dream you have... but HUNGRY.....like, you have to do it or you'll DIE ...(not literally, but you know what i mean) then definately go to college get a degree in something "to fall back on". do theater and study voice/dance/acting on the side, privately if your school doesn't have a program.
so you'll get a degree for something "to fall back on"...and the DAY you don't get a callback or get an offer you think you deserve and you think "arghh, this broadway dream is just too hard...boy, am i glad i have this degree to fall back on" will be the day you will know that you MAYBE show biz just really isn't for you.
i truly wonder how many successful broadway actors had and/or used their fall back plans at some point.
anyway...i wish you a lot of luck, no matter what path you decide to take!

[TheActr97J]

Posted: 4/15/06 at 1:20am

NYU Tisch will let you was one of the only schools I applied to for MT that allows you to double major, within the liberal arts college.

Thanks andrew for posting Aaron Lazar's blog. I love what he had to say. So very true. I sometimes wondered if I felt that way about my performing, like is it really something I need to live, or do I just feel like it is. A few weeks ago, I thought I was going to have to go to a second rate program, that I knew I wouldn't be comfortable at and didn't think would give me the training I felt I needed. I felt like my dreams were slipping away from me... so I felt like I had no more motivation. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I couldn't think about anything else.... so apparently performing is the air I breath, because the thought of not being able to do it, took away my will to keep going. I guess that is the point where you know whether you're serious about it or not. People always told me to do this only if I felt like there was nothing else that would make me feel fulfilled... I guess now I know.

My advice to i love idina is to just let your parents have some time to get used to the idea. My parents have always supported my art, just like it sounds like your parents have; however, once I decided that musical theatre was what I needed to major in, they did not immediately warm up to the idea. It's because they were scared- it's a parent's job to worry! They didn't want me to go through the hardships that aspiring performers have to undergo. Once they saw, though, that it was what I really felt I NEEDED to do, they finally gave in and gave their blessing. They have been right there for me every step of the way. My father was by my side and behind the wheel, for each of my 11 college auditions. My mother waited patiently with me every day for the mail to come... the same woman who was worried about me having to wait tables for the rest of my life, was staring out the window, willing the mailman to bring an acceptance letter to an MT program. Give them time! My parents, who were wary at first, now couldn't be more proud that I will be going to the school of my dreams next year to study musical theatre. It's a big choice, and they just need time to let it sink in. It sounds like you've had their support all along; trust me, they won't just quit on you now.

Best of luck to you. Make your own choice; listen to whatever advice others have to offer, but ultimately, this is a decision you have to make for yourself. If you agree and need a double major, do that; if you know MT is what you really want to do, then go balls out and knock 'em dead at the auditions. Do what you THINK will make you happy. There's no way to know for sure that anything you do will make your dreams come true or not; all you can do is give yourself the best opportunities to make them come true.

[TheEnchantedHunter]

Posted: 4/15/06 at 2:31am

When you finally get cast in a show, no matter where, first tell your parents you were cast in a production of NAKED BOYS SINGING and give them a full description of what the show is about. Then afterwards, when they are lying on the couch sobbing, tell them the truth that you were cast in OKLAHOMA! or whatever at university. They'll be so grateful and impressed they won't ever have the nerve to say anything negative or stand in your way again. Trust me.

Tootie 'The Most Horrible' Smith
St. Louis, MO

[TheActr97J]

Posted: 4/15/06 at 2:45am

Frankly, if it were my child, I would be relieved if he was cast in Naked Boys Singing as opposed to OKLAHOMA! Yuck!

[allofmylife]

Posted: 4/15/06 at 3:18am

So there you are. Half say study, half say strike out on your own.

None of us can tell you what's right for you. But remember we can and are warning you how hard it is.

I was born into a theater family. My parents produced shows in Canada. I have spent every minute of my life in the entertainment business and despite the fact that to this day, half the family thinks I'm a flake, I would NEVER change a thing.

I began to study at the Theater School at York University, then decided to quit and try the other route. It has taken me YEARS to get to the point I'm at now, which is producing motion pictures in Hollywood, a long, long way from Broadway.

There were only two times that ALL of my family ever really understood that I was succeeding: when an article about me appeared on the front page of Variety and when I scored an autographed photo of Jane Seymour for my mom (and I think that meant more than the Variety cover!).

Now I'm producing two motion pictures with two of the biggest directors in the world, names my family recognize, but I still get those lectures from well-meaning relatives.

If I can offer one piece of advice it is this: you MUST understand how hard this business is (gee, I have another piece of advice as well, come to think of it) you MUST become a master of time. Even IF you are talented enough to make the cut (and that's an incredibly tall order) it may take YEARS to get recognized. During the interim, you are going to have to make money, especially to survive in such an expensive city as NYC or LA. I suggest you talk to your school counsellor and try to develop a plan of attack. There are many well-paying jobs in the trades. Construction pays well. Many of my friends have worked as electricians or carpenters (it's dirty work but well-paying once you apprentice and you always have a fall-back).

Harrison Ford was a carpenter during the lean times. I can't tell you the number of people out here who claim he built their decks....

As for the master of time, it's the waiting that kills so many careers. If that amazing young kid in Jersey Boys put in seven years trying to make it, he had to buy 2555 meals and pay the rent, phone bill, heat and power 84 times.

That is dedication.

But good luck anyway. The theater survives on the optimism of the young (and makes its profits on the cynicism of the old).

Keep us informed of your progress...

[Dollypop]

Posted: 4/15/06 at 8:10am

I also will tell you to "follow your heart".

Furthermore, let me suggest what Carol Channing has said: Don't let anything sidetrack you. Remember your goal and stick with it.

[singingwendy]

Posted: 4/15/06 at 8:43am

If your parents are insisting on college, or that's the route you really want to take, look for a school where you can combine theater with something else. When I went to Ithaca College I know you could do a degree of Theater (or Music) with an Outside Field. Many people chose to do this degree with either business, or management, or English education, although I know one guy who combined theater and conducting because he wanted to conduct on Broadway (and that's what he's doing).

Also, are your parents still willing to pay for college if you're a theatre major? If they are, then they can't be entirely unsupportive.

Of course, you could do what I did when my parents didn't want me to be a music major....I enrolled as "exploratory" then after one semester transferred to the music building and told my parents that if I didn't change now, it would cost them an extra sememster of tuition!

Posted: 4/15/06 at 11:07am

i like the phrase "plan of attack" rather than "fall back plan"

[allofmylife]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 1:01am

Caesar burned the bridges behind him so his troops couldn't retreat. He conquered Gaul, Britain and most of the Western World.

Of course, it didn't end too well for him....

Talk to your guidance councellor and get him/her to help you mount a "plan of attack" with as many variables, plan b's, parallel assaults and projected goals as possible. Most guidance people live to be neededand will be more helpful if you make the request challenging.

again, good luck!

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 6:52am

I understand completely why a parent would want to shield a child from the possible heartbreak of never making it in theatre - but I also think that people should follow their heart. The best of both worlds is to have a wonderful back-up plan - get an education in another field that you would also enjoy doing, then you'll never have to worry about not being able to provide yourself with a living wage.

[erinrebecca]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 10:07am

Your parents are wiser than you think. While it's great to cite successes like Sutton Foster and JLY, they are the exception to the rule. There are thousands of others who are not successful, regardless of their background. While JLY's parents may not regret him not being a lawyer NOW, how about five years from now, or ten? This business is more difficult than any of you h/s kids realize. Just think of it this way, there are thousands of kids across the country who next month will graduate from theatre programs and plan to head to NYC to "make it". They will be joined next May by thousands more, and the next year, etc. Oh, and yes, the tens of thousands who are already IN NYC and going to auditions on a regular basis. And that doesn't even include all those kids whose parents made them study poli-sci, history, engineering, business, etc. but who decide to pursue theatre anyway! :)

Just because someone has oodles of talent, is well-trained, even well-connected with contacts, doesn't mean that they're going to have a career in the theatre. And even if someone is fortunate enough to get past the hundreds of others who auditioning for a particular role and be cast in a show, yes, they have a job but chances are great that it will be for less than a year. The average run of a Broadway show is less than a year.

The reality is that most of the kids here, myself included, will never see a Broadway stage except from a seat in the theatre. Never. So, it's not a bad idea to have studied something in addition to theatre, or to, at a minimum, have something else which you're interested in. The attitude of "if you have a back-up plan, you'll use it and never make it big" is naive and not very practical.

Lastly, I've never seen any reputable school where you can double major in theatre AND business. That just doesn't happen.
My parents have been totally supportive of my education but they also insisted that I be realistic and knowledgeable about how unlikely it is for ANYone to earn a reliable and sustainable living as an actor in theatre.
Updated On: 4/16/06 at 10:07 AM

[dutch46mill2]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 10:51pm

First off go to the top of the posings and you'll see students. click on it. Theater in NY is the best but you will end up living in a rathole until you get experience credentials and more jobs. You must have a second love business admin is a good one because every business needs one. Social worker? I think we have enough waiters.So pick something else that you can lead a financialy stable life. It may be years before you get a good part. But in the evening you can still perform.

[All_For_Laura]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 11:01pm

I have the same ordeal here and I am being very serious about it. I am going to major in theatre in college and minor in something important to me. As actors, it is pressing to learn another skill, because nothing is guaranteed in the theatre world. NYU is a great school and my dream school but as I get closer to application time, I am aware that I should be able to minor and study in something other than just my number one passion. So keep an open mind and really look at your future and what lies ahead!

[Alex LaVelle]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 11:21pm

I don't know that I can contribute a lot given what has already been said, but one bit of advice: if you do go for the theatre major, take classes in design and theatre tech in addition to the acting and vocal courses. I'm at Emory University right now majoring in Theatre Studies as a lighting designer/director. I am not an actor-type, but I have talked to many professionals who went to school for acting and took some design/tech courses and have made their careers as Props Master at the Alliance here in town (where the tour of Spelling Bee and the Sister Act musical are being developed over the next few months), as costume designers at the Atlanta Opera, etc. There is a general consensus that it tends to be easier to get work on the technical side of theatre, so know how to do something along those lines, be it light design, sound design, costume design, props design, or anything else.

And while people are suggesting schools, I will throw out my own. It is possible here to double major in Business and Theatre Studies, and we have an Equity theatre company housed on campus where undergrads get to work alongside Equity actors, director, stage managers, etc, and that provides a lot of experience that is unique on this level; most of the TS faculty here is either Equity or belongs to some kind of design union, depending on what their area of expertise is.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 4/16/06 at 11:38pm

My grandparents know a guy who is an actor on the side. His day job is something involving computers. That sounds like a sweet deal.

Posted: 4/17/06 at 1:05am

i know lots of people who HAVE "made it"...starred on Broadway..replacing or originating..and right now..they can't get arrested to do a show..myself included. i am not really actively auditioning though...but my friends are.
its a very fickle business. the hardest part is making the success "stick". its not just about getting that FIRST job and thinking that then you'll sail. it doesn't always work that way. very rarely does it work that way.

[astonishing1985]

Posted: 4/17/06 at 10:50am

Thank god I have a boyfriend who makes a lot of money :) lol

But my parents are both musicians so they can't say anything. My mom is very supportive.

Updated On: 4/17/06 at 10:50 AM

[SpamalotDiva]

Posted: 4/17/06 at 12:06pm

OMG my parents are just as bad as astonishing.....but I little by little accel up the theatre ladder until I am there.