Skip to main content
My Shows
News on your favorite shows, specials & more!
#1

NY Post Closing Headlines

So, I thought for a fun little New Year's game, we could try to predict what the NY Post headlines (they're always ridiculously stupid puns) would be for various Broadway events or closings. Here's an example:

Hairspray Closing:
THE ECONOMY STOPPED THE BEAT

Gypsy Closing:
EVERYTHING'S COMING UP CLOSING


Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08
#2

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

Rose's Turn No More


YF
Putting on the Fritz (that one's terrible)


Slava's No Show (yeah i know, its a limited run, but i'm having fun)

Updated On: 12/31/08 at 09:10 AM

#5

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

Gypsy "LuPowned"




If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
#6

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

Heyhey, PG2! "Everything Coming Up's Closing" is mine, young man!

No, but seriously, I can't think of anything for Spamalot, and this is weird because you'd think the Monty Python musical would lend itself most to goofy puns. All I can think of is something like "Scram-A-Lot," which is dreadful, even for the New York Post's headlines!
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
#7

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

HURT-TWEENS!
"Winning a Tony this year is like winning Best Attendance in third grade: no one will care but the winner and their mom."
-Kad

"I have also met him in person, and I find him to be quite funny actually. Arrogant and often misinformed, but still funny."
-bjh2114 (on Michael Riedel)
#9

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

A Timely Holiday Reference for SPAMALOT:

"SILENT KNIGHTS"


"To love another person is to see the face of God!"
#10

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

Two, two, two closings in one (I know, limited run...):

Spam-a-lot, you joked a lot
And now you are broke, but you earned a lot
Pal Joey and the Knight's Tale - no more
#11

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

For the tepid reviews of Pal Joey and Shrek:

MAL JOEY
DRECK THE MUSICAL

For the closing of Young Frankenstein:

THEY'VE CREATED A MONSTER
or
IT'S DEAD!

For the closing of Grease:

HOPELESSLY STILL OPEN


Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08
#13

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

Dancin Thru Life, that was great!
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
#15

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

This is a bad one, but my creativity is low at 9:30 in the morning.

"They lost their Grail"
"Spring is over before it starts"

When I get better ones, I'll come back.
#16

re: NY Post Closing Headlines

Spring Awakening Put To Sleep

In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy

BroadwayWorld TV


Ticket Central
Hot Show
Tickets From $59
Hot Show
Tickets From $71
Hot Show
Tickets From $71
Hot Show
Tickets From $95