Okay, true story, I swear. When I lived in SF, my b/f and I used to go to this little rep movie house in Berkeley, the kind of place where the double bill changed every night. They were gonna do an evening of DEATH IN VENICE and CABARET, and we figured what the hell, let's go.
Only place we could find two seats together was behind these two elderly ladies: one was about 70, the other a bit older and wearing a hearing aid.
DEATH IN VENICE starts, and no sooner had it begun than the younger one turns to her companion and says, in a voice that could be heard for a few seats in every direction, "Venice.... Venice.... weren;t you in Venice?"
Five second pause.
"Venice... Venice... no, I dont think I was in Venice."
Another five second pause.
"I'm sure you were in Venice."
Yet another.
"No, I dont think so."
"Isnt that where you got that pretty ashtray for Cousin Naomi?"
Well, fortunately the audience had seen the film so no one got too upset - we were all actually laughing a bit - but the ushers came down, asked them to be quiet, and they were fine for the rest of the movie. Then CABARET starts, and the battery on the hearing aid went out, and it became an evening of:
"WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?"
"THEY'RE SAYING THEY'RE GOING TO BERLIN."
"OH.... WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?"
"THEY'RE SINGING A SONG!"
"OH."...
all through the movie. It was actually hysterical. But then we get to the scene where Liza finds out that Michael York has been playing slide the sausage with Max.
"WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?"
(very hastily) "I DONT KNOW."
"IT MUST BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT; EVERYBODY'S LAUGHING!"
"I DONT KNOW. BE QUIET AND WATCH THE FILM!"
Oh God, we were dying to tell her what they said.........
"That duck was a sexual toy, and it was on display!" -- an unknown Nashville town leader