Supporting Audra's joke about being raped on-stage. — Page 4

And I feel rape shouldn't be held to any higher standard than the other bad things that can happen to a person in life. If other things can be trivial, so can rape. As a woman I am tired of this idea that it's the worst thing that can happen to a person and that no one can talk about it. There are a lot of sh*tty things that can happen to people.

JuliesPoolie, I think you make a sophisticated argument above, one that may be too complex for a forum thread. That's not to say you don't have a right to try; and quite frankly I agree with you. There's a fine line between feeling empathy for a rape victim and assuming she is somehow "permanently damaged goods" because she has been attacked in one particular manner. (As for women (or men) who use the term too casually, surely that needs its own thread.)

But if we remove the modifiers, what McDonald said boils down to this: "I love being raped." We all know that's not what she meant, but that's literally what she said.

Whether or not we think that is the worst that can happen to a woman, surely you can understand why some of us felt uncomfortable at the thought as it was expressed.

Updated On: 6/11/12 at 05:48 PM

GavestonPS, thank you for that well-articulated post. I personally did not feel offended by her remarks but when I heard them, I was a little uncomfortable and knew there would be people who would be upset or offended by what she said.

Clearly, it isn't such a huge deal that Audra should be publicly flogged and have her award rescinded over it, but there isn't anything wrong with having a dialogue about why, maybe, that wasn't the right joke for the moment. Or at least why it could be perceived as a divisive joke.

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Well, said, Kelly2 and "uncomfortable" is the perfect word to me. I knew McDonald didn't mean any harm and or even to make light of rape.

The good Lord knows I post stupider things all the time and that's even after I've proofread and thought about what I have written!

I still want the links for Julie's examples. They sound like some real humdingers!

Her exact words are:

"To be in love with Norm Lewis every night, to get raped by Phillip Boykin every night, to snort drugs with David Allen Grier every night, and the enitre company they are filled with light, and soul, and spirit. They move me."

She is not making a joke about rape! She is just talking about the emotional journey that Bess undergoes in each performance. She is simply acknowledging the work her fellow castmates do. Geez!

Get off your high horses and let the woman talk about her character. She does not make light of rape. She does not trivialize it. Instead, she humbly discusses what the other professionals around her contribute to her successful (and now award-winning) performance.

JuliesPoolie, I think you make a sophisticated argument above, one that may be too complex for a forum thread.

Oh, please...

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It's not victim blaming. It's called taking responsibility for the choices you make in life. Choices for the words you use. A young man's (or woman's, it DOES happen both ways) life could be ruined because he and a girl had drunken sex and she decided the next morning she's embarrassed she did it. That's not right. People have to own up to the decisions they make.

I think it's a horrible thing when someone gets pinned down and actually raped when they tell their perpetrator "no". I think it's also horrible when someone's life is ruined because the other party wakes up the next morning regretting the consensual decisions of the night before.

You, alone, are the only one who can tell someone to stop. If you don't tell them, THEY'LL NEVER KNOW AND IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT.

We live in a world where a LOT is covered under the blanket term "rape". The truth of the matter is that not all rapes are the same. And if you find yourself married to someone and have no desire to have sex, you owe it to your partner to get a divorce. You cannot expect someone to live their life not acting on basic animalistic sexual desires because you have weird issues. To expect them not to cheat on you, not to complain about lack of sex, and to not try to make you feel bad for fulfilling their desires is wrong on the most basic levels of humanity.

We live in a sick world where rape "victims" are given the benefit of the doubt over many more serious crimes a lot of the time. Instead the accused being innocent until proven guilty in a lot of rape cases it's actually the opposite. And that's gross.

Updated On: 6/11/12 at 08:43 PM

In most courts if a woman was under any influence of alcohol or drugs, even if she gave consent, it is considered rape. That's a lot different than someone getting thrown down in an alley way and pounced upon.

Julie, I truly hope you're a troll of some kind but if you're not...MOST violent sexual assaults (including rape) go unreported because the victim is too scared of attacks on their credibility like yours. You're helping to create a societal construct surrounding rape where it is IMPOSSIBLE for a woman to win or to feel safe in trying to press charges or talk about what happened to her.

If there is a small percentage of sexual assaults that fall under the classifications you described (and trust me, I'm sure it's MUCH smaller than you think), is it really fair to assume all women are lying or are in this category before you even hear their story? If a woman says she said no and that she was raped, why should she have to hear from you and every other ignorant moron that she wasn't raped because you said she wasn't? It's bulls**t.

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I'm sorry, but not saying "no" or trying to stop it because you are too scared, to me, is NOT an excuse. How can it be? How can the other party know that act wasn't welcomed???

And yet, many claims of rape involve that exact circumstance.

Julie,
I'm just wondering how what you're talking about is even relevant. I'm sure I could come up with a thousand scenarios that "aren't murder". Still, if someone says a murder occurred we should treat it like it is fact until there is reason to believe it isn't, not the other way around.

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The press is not abuzz with any Audra controversy. This may only be an issue with this board.


Julies....you're starting to scare me.

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Just read this. A girl decided never to tell her partner she didn't want to have sex with him. In fact, she said yes, even though she didn't want to. Read the comments from people. To expect him to read her mind is just ridiculous. Women need to own up to their own choices. She had every right to say "no" on various occasions. He claims if she had he would have never taken advantage of her. However, in the aftermath, he feels like he raped her. And in the comments people agree that he did because he should have known she didn't want to do it.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-accidental-rapist/

Updated On: 6/11/12 at 09:17 PM