The Blonde in the Thunderbird Reviews

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 4:12pm

Anything up yet?

[superstarjpp]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 7:34pm

The one from Broadway.com isn't too great, but probably true. She never was much of a singer or actress for that matter

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 8:23pm

Broadway.com: http://www.broadway.com/gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=515103
Extra Negative

"If you've read any of Suzanne Somers' popular memoirs, you probably know about the turmoil that has plagued her life: alcoholic father, self-esteem issues, motherhood at age 19, divorce, love with a married man, career woes and breast cancer. She's a resilient woman who has made the best of some hideous circumstances, and her sparkly, self-deprecating persona has earned her a considerable and vocal fan base.

Only rarely, as during a childlike rendition of "If I Only Had a Brain" punctuated with domestic-abuse sound effects, does The Blonde in the Thunderbird attain the sort of ill-conceived bathos that can lend such pieces exalted status among camp aficionados. More often than not, the fourth-rate Vegas orchestrations and banal script--TV veterans Mitzie and Ken Welch adapted two of Somers' books in addition to directing--bring to mind a kitschy infomercial. The feeling of watching television is exacerbated by the use of two Jumbotron screens that show video clips (Three's Company is notably absent) or photo montages when they're not offering a larger version of Somers on stage.

Unfortunately, Somers still isn't much of a singer or an actress. She gamely recounts the highs and lows of her life, employing most of the tricks (endearingly bad posture, wide-eyed vulnerability) that made her Chrissy so popular on Three's Company. She also punctuates the tale with a handful of standards and some of the worst new songs Broadway has heard in years. These songs, which include the lyric "You clipped my wings, so I learned how to fly," have been attributed to "Ken and Mitzie and Ken Welch." Material of this quality often ends up with no songwriters' names attached; why Mr. Welch has opted to include his twice is a mystery.

But I don't want to hear her sing songs she has no business singing. (In her defense, nobody has any business singing half these songs.) I don't want to see her in an outfit that makes Elaine Stritch's tights look demure, and I don't want to see Jumbotron screens on any Broadway stage, let alone one of the smaller ones. Late in The Blonde in the Thunderbird, Somers pensively declares, "I think the key is not our stories but what we do with them." I sure hope not. What she has done is turn her sad, inspiring story into equal parts lounge act and Learning Annex seminar. Her story deserves better, and so do we."

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 08:23 PM

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 8:34pm

Talkin' Broadway:
http://www.talkinbroadway.com/world/BlondeThunderbird.html
Negative

"The rumors must be immediately put to rest: Suzanne Somers's one-woman show The Blonde in the Thunderbird is not a worthless piece of trash. It may in fact be one of the most beneficial shows to open on Broadway in decades, at least as far as crisis centers are concerned. Expect the next couple of weeks to be filled with news reports about major upswings in attendance, because demand among New York theatergoers will soon vastly exceed supply.

This isn't to say there's not an audience for the show, but whether they'll pry themselves away from Somers's show on the Home Shopping Channel long enough to make an official pilgrimage to the Brooks Atkinson is anyone's guess. And collectors of the most unique of theatrical experiences will be delighted, probably to the point of being reduced to quivering piles of orgiastic glee, by the crampy campfest Somers has to offer.


But do those accomplishments - which she's already chronicled in two books - entitle her to the full-frontal assault on the audience's intelligence that she's trying to pass off as a show? Perhaps, in some mystical way known only to the biggest of stars. But that doesn't put the result in the same strata of successful solo efforts like Billy Crystal's 700 Sundays or Elaine Stritch At Liberty, nor does it make it theatrical. Or even tasteful. The show more closely resembles something Somers might do during one of her Las Vegas engagements, if the city's sense of propriety and artistic integrity suddenly bled away.

Her singing voice is passable, hardly embarrassing (she'd be great in She's the Sheriff: The Musical), but it's the renditions' hokey inappropriateness at issue here. Frank Loesser's "Take Back Your Mink," for example, is interspersed with anecdotes about being viciously abused by her father. The original songs, written by Mitzie and Ken Welch (who also wrote the script and directed), are no better, though at least they have no reputation to destroy. (If they did, lyrics like "Inventory / I'm taking / Inventory" and "But I love my hair" would certainly do the trick.) Thankfully, sound designer Robert Ludwig has obscured most of the lyrics - and everything else - by blasting Somers's voice at an obscene volume.

In the end, Somers explains, director George Lucas decided it better that she mouth the words and say nothing at all. That advice would have greatly improved The Blonde in the Thunderbird, too."

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 08:34 PM

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 8:46pm

Newsday Article/Interview:

"George Lucas is on the guest list for Sunday night's Broadway opening of "The Blonde in the Thunderbird," and that's as it should be. It was director Lucas, pre-"Star Wars," who cast Suzanne Somers as the mysterious blonde in a T-bird who brought purpose to Richard Dreyfuss' aimless cruising in the 1973 movie "American Graffiti."

And then another. And another. Somers starred in "Step by Step" for seven seasons in the '90s. She has made a fortune hawking various Somersize wares on the Home Shopping Network, performed a successful Las Vegas nightclub act and become the bestselling author of more than a dozen self-help and cookbooks - with more in the pipeline.

Her own fitness regime has encompassed her treatment for breast cancer (diagnosed in 2000, she is now cancer-free) and menopause (ongoing but under control), as well as indignities such as flab (acting as her own model, she's sold millions of ThighMasters and ButtMasters).

If her show succeeds, it will be because others can see their own stories in it, Somers believes. If it doesn't, "it's because people just don't like me." It helps that she spikes her earnestness with self-effacing humor. For instance, she related how at a low point in her career she asked her husband if he thought her ThighMaster pitch would harm her career. He replied, "What career?"" <--

Love this Picture!




ARTICLE

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 08:46 PM

[LaCageAuxFollesFan2]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 8:46pm

I just read that whole Talkin Bway review...was he smoking something when he wrote that? That was harder to get through than Good Vibrations.

[GYPSY1527]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 8:51pm

I'm frightened of that picture!

[Avigdor]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 8:53pm

I went to see the show not expecting anything. I got a lot. This isnt your typical broadway show...nor should it be. Suzanne is not your typcial "star" she has always worked outside the box and has pushed to find her own identity....and as you watch the show you must listen closely as she does recount what millions of american have gone through and many women of her generation. I believe regardless of weather she hits all the notes..she is sincere...she is inspired and she is honest about her story. I say bravo for the courage to get up there everynight and do it..go see the show everyone..listen and learn.

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:04pm

YAY!

[Phantom2]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:09pm

I have one of those Butt Master things. Unfortunately, I broke it.

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 09:09 PM

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:12pm

TT, that Blake Green story was a feature article and interview that appeared in Newsday today. It's not the review which isn't up yet.

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:12pm

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000AV8LQ/

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 09:12 PM

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:14pm

"TT, that Blake Green story was a feature article and interview that appeared in Newsday today. It's not the review which isn't up yet."

oops! sorry..
It's defenently your job posting Reviews!

[Akbar-n-Jeff]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:19pm

She looks eerily like Robin Byrd.
Byrd seems like a far more engaging performer.

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:19pm

Niiice...

[Phantom2]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:21pm

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Avigdor]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:24pm

hey tiny toon..not every show is going to cater to you..get off the bummer bus.
wow.

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:28pm

I actually liked the show..

MINI REVIEW

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 09:28 PM

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/17/05 at 9:40pm

AP Review:
Mixed to Negative

" They say confession is good for the soul but should it masquerade as Broadway entertainment? The question comes to mind because of "The Blonde in the Thunderbird," Suzanne Somers' one-woman show, now on view at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre. This inspirational infomercial highlights the triumphs and tragedies of a performer best known as Chrissy on the late '70s television sitcom "Three's Company" and currently a star of the Home Shopping Network.

Infomercials explain but rarely entertain, and the same could be said for "Blonde," which has the feel of an extended therapy session crossed with a tacky Las Vegas revue -- minus the other show girls.

Interrupting these stories are songs that, more or less, comment on what Somers is talking about. Many of them are Broadway show tunes such as "Take Back Your Mink" from "Guys and Dolls" and "Fifty Percent" from "Ballroom." Others are specialty numbers created by the Welchs. Somers delivers these numbers with the hardest of edges, selling them to the balcony with a determination that makes them all sound alike.

Somers also possesses a cheery sense of self-deprecation that earns points, particularly when she wheels out a cart of goodies to sell. It's overstuffed with jewelry, health foods, clothing and particularly the endless parade of exercise and self-help books she shamelessly pitches these days on television. "They say the Irish either drink or write. Guess which one I do," she announces.

It says something, though, about "The Girl in the Thunderbird" that one of the biggest rounds of applause occurs when Somers displays a ThighMaster, perhaps the most famous of her many exercise gadgets. Only in a show such as this could a prop upstage the star."





REVIEW

Updated On: 7/17/05 at 09:40 PM