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#1

The manners question

Posted: 8/11/11 at 10:53pm

Just got home from THE HELP. Wonderful adaptation with some parts significantly different from the book, but that's beside the point. What went on in the theatre solidified one of the main reasons why I find myself going to the cinema less and less.

Of course, many people believe it's their divine right to not turn their phone off at the movies anymore. Throughout the film I saw the occasional phone light or heard a little buzz. I was able to ignore that. But tonight *SPOILER* in the film's final scene, when Aibeleen tells off Hilly and gets fired, not only did the woman sitting five seats down from me's phone ring, but SHE F*CKING ANSWERED IT. And talked. And talked. And although multiple people (myself included) told her to SHUT THE F*CK UP she kept on talking until she was done. I felt bad for her friend, who kept apologizing to everyone around her while her friend obliviously babbled. She was practically lynched in the lobby after the film.

But seriously, to quote Patti, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Do you really think you're that important? We HAVE forgotten our public manners. And it's just getting worse.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#2

The manners question

Posted: 8/12/11 at 12:22am

I saw The Help yesterday in the afternoon. The theater was filled with well-behaved old women, so we had no such problems. Maybe going earlier in the day might solve a bit of the problem.
#3

The manners question

Posted: 8/12/11 at 12:26am

Some people's behavior at movie theatres is practically abysmal. It varies from film to film, though. I love the disparity here: I went to see Twilight the Friday it came out, and couldn't hear a thing above the screaming and talking back to the screen. When I went to the midnight Deathly Hallows screening, there was cheering in the beginning and then total silence for the next two and a half hours.
I know you. I know you. I know you.
#4

The manners question

Posted: 8/12/11 at 12:40am

For those who are able to, go on a Monday or Tuesday, early in the day. Generally there isn't anyone in the theatre so you might as well call it a private screening.
"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." -Stephen Colbert
#5

The manners question

Posted: 8/12/11 at 7:41am

It just boggles my mind how someone can talk in a theater full of people during a movie.

Not a quick reply to a text (although can be annoying too) but a full blown conversation in an auditorium of quiet people. It transcends bad manners in my book.

I would have gotten the usher asap.


....but the world goes 'round
#6

The manners question

Posted: 8/17/11 at 10:57am

We, the undersigned, in order to improve the moviegoing experience for all theater patrons, pledge to:

1. Shut Our Mouths. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.

2. Turn Off Our Cell Phones When the Movie Starts. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).

3. Never Bring a Baby To An R-Rated Movie. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.

4. Never Bring Loud, Stinky Food Into the Theater. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.

5. Sit Directly In Front of Someone Only When There Are No Other Seats Available. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.

6. Leave a Buffer Seat Between Ourselves and Strangers Whenever Possible. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.

7. Never Put Our Crap On a Seat And Pretend We're Holding It For Someone Just So No One Sits Next To Us. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.

8. Throw Our Garbage On the Floor. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.

8a. (In Moderation.) We, the undersigned, do enjoy being pigs, and tend to think a clean auditorium is the responsibility of the theater staff, not the customers. But we, the undersigned, also recognize that it's hypocritical to expect others to change their bad habits and not change our own. So we, the undersigned, will moderate our mess (and, really, if you needed someone to tell you not to pour Coke on the floor of a movie theater, maybe movie theater etiquette isn't your biggest problem). We, the undersigned, will clean up after ourselves as a concession, with the understanding that movie theater owners have just as much to fix as movie theatergoers, and they should expect their own manifesto/petition in the future. (NOTE: PetitionOnline doesn't permit after-the-fact changes, so byrule 8a will not appear there.)

Sincerely,

We, The Undersigned, People Who Truly Love Going to the Movies
A movie theater etiquette manifesto
....but the world goes 'round
#7

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:24pm

I've said it before and its very unpopular but theaters need to block cellular phones.I don't think you can use a cell phone in some hospitals but theaters need to enforce this. If someone wants to text or check their messages they will have to go outside to do so. Its come down to this. Some rude patrons ruin it for everyone else and they have to do this.More and more people are waiting for films to come out on DVD. 3-D was suppose to bring people back to the movies and it has done the opposite.If theater owners/studios want people to come back to the movies then the theater owners are going to have to be the ones to take the proper steps to do so.I've discussed this with the manger at my local theater and he thinks it's a great ideas. There is NO REASON why anyone needs to be available during a two hour movie.NONE! I often ask,"what did people do before cell phones?"
'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-
#8

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:26pm

Romantico, I couldn't agree more, but I believe that the technology used to block cell phone calls is currently illegal in the US.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#9

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:27pm

Why the hell can't they eat before they get there too?

The woman and daughter next to me at The Help on Sunday pulled a six course meal out of her tote and ate through the entire movie. Then she had me get up so she could go to the restroom and she came back with a cup of water and took medication.

Updated On: 8/17/11 at 12:27 PM

#10

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:32pm

2. Turn Off Our Cell Phones When the Movie Starts. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).

No. If you have a job that requires you to be available, DON'T GO TO THE MOVIES AT THAT TIME. If you're expecting a call or have to be available to do business, then it really isn't a good time for you to go to a movie, leave your phone on, and inconvenience dozens of people because you're "too important" to be unavailable for two hours.

Phones off at all times in the theatre, no exceptions.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#11

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:34pm

Is it illegal? I know you can't make calls from hospitals and some Doctor's offices. Only other option is to have ushers in back of the theater at all times.Place plenty of signs around the lobby and theater warning that this theater enforces a NO CELL PHONE POLICY. Anyone seen making calls,texting,etc.will be thrown out without question. If a theater does this a few times and word of mouth gets around there will be people who avoid this theater and then those will be loyal customers. I have a friend who bought a pocket size cell phone blocker. He says for such a small thing it works very well and covers a good range.I know this is another debate blocking someone's signal but there are options out there. We live in a very selfish society. I saw THE HELP and the man in front was talking to his wife throughout. Not whispering but talking. He was an old man and it was not that distracting but still,I thought it was rude.
'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-
#12

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:41pm

I agree that an usher should be in the theatre at all times and should have the right to eject people--I feel like if people saw that happen once, they'd think twice before trying any s*it again. But I agree completely that it comes down to selfishness. Why else would someone go to a movie and leave their phone on because they're expecting a call, or take a two-year-old to an R-rated film because they can't/won't get a sitter? Because people don't care about anyone's experience but their own.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#13

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:45pm

In this day and age, people MUST be constantly available- there could not possibly be a two-hour block when someone would be unable to immediately respond to a call no matter how routine or banal. THANK God they didn't have to live through all those years when cell phones did not yet exist and you might go for days without being able to answer your phone.

Updated On: 8/17/11 at 12:45 PM

#14

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:47pm

I know, right? When I tell people that I didn't own a cell phone until two years ago they look at me as if I have three heads. Well, I didn't, and somehow people still found a way to reach me when they needed to.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#15

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:52pm

I'm a big supporter of the "if you can't get a sitter stay at home" idea. My parents did it. When you become a parent you make sacrifies and nights out is one of them.

I've been known to smuggle a bottle of water in the movies from time to time. But nothing more than that.

I went to an 11:30pm screening of Harry Potter and a few minutes before the movie started a whole group of "youths" came in and sat in the back row. They smoked pot and screamed/yelled/talked through most of the movie until they were thrown out by a patron. That didn't last long because they came back and stood in the front of the theatre instead.
"All our dreams can come true -- if we have the courage to pursue them." -- Walt Disney We must have different Gods. My God said "do to others what you would have them do to you". Your God seems to have said "My Way or the Highway".
#16

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 12:59pm

I'm a big supporter of the "if you can't get a sitter stay at home" idea. My parents did it. When you become a parent you make sacrifies and nights out is one of them.


My parents always said the same thing. I went to see CRAZY STUPID LOVE a few days after my incident at THE HELP and two women brought a two-year-old baby with them. He hardly made any noise, thankfully, but I couldn't get over how rude and inconsiderate it was to both the other patrons and the child himself (it was a late evening showing, and he should have been home in bed). Plus, the child soiled his diaper halfway through the movie and neither woman could be bothered to leave and change it--so the theatre smelled quite wonderful, as you can imagine.

I was tempted to find a manager and ask if they charged the women the price of a child's ticket for the two-year-old--if the answer was no, I'd have asked for a refund. But I didn't even care by that point.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body

Updated On: 8/17/11 at 12:59 PM

#17

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 1:02pm

I've always marveled at the fact that I'm always the ONLY ONE who will say something to the staff when the picture/sound/lighting is messed up when the movie starts. I mean, I really don't have a problem with it, but if you're on the aisle near the exit, why are you SO CONCERNED you may miss 30 seconds of something you can't actually see or hear? And yes, I will step on your feet and knock over your giant soft drink if you make me climb over an entire row of people because you're too f***ing lazy to do the obvious.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
#18

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 1:09pm

I couple brought a baby in one of those seats to A-Team and I just couldn't believe it.

the child soiled his diaper halfway through the movie and neither woman could be bothered to leave and change it--so the theatre smelled quite wonderful, as you can imagine.

Nothing to do with going to the movies but something like this happened during my retail days. I worked at Gymboree in college and if you've ever been in one of those stores you'd know that they're rather small. Once during one of my shifts a woman was shopping with her toddler. The kid had soiled her diaper. It was so obvious - she was doing the "squat walk", she was crying loudly (I mean who wants to walk around like that), and we could smell it. But the mom went along with her shopping as if nothing had ever happened. Half an hour later she was making her purchase. She made that kid wear a dirty diaper because she just couldn't be bothered. There were changing tables in the ladies rooms so it's not like there wasn't any place for her to go. I felt so bad for the kid but couldn't say anything.
"All our dreams can come true -- if we have the courage to pursue them." -- Walt Disney We must have different Gods. My God said "do to others what you would have them do to you". Your God seems to have said "My Way or the Highway".
#19

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 2:11pm

I've often thought how great it would be for a theater to have a daycare in the lobby. Seriously. They would charge of course but most people can't find a sitter at the last minute and I would think a Movie theater with their own daycare would be a great idea!

I have very little patience with kids at the movies. I see all the Pixar/Disney movies as late as possible and sometimes even let it run for a few weeks before I will see it. Kids are just kids so I can't blame them. I blame the parents 100%! I've been at the movies and seen kids behave themselves and I credit the parents for this.

'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-
#20

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 3:30pm

I've often thought how great it would be for a theater to have a daycare in the lobby. Seriously. They would charge of course but most people can't find a sitter at the last minute and I would think a Movie theater with their own daycare would be a great idea!

I think that's a brilliant idea, but I'm not sure how feasible it is given the liability insurance that would be required. Actually, Playwrights Horizons has been doing a similar thing--providing in-house daycare at certain performances--but it's only available for children 4-12 who are toilet trained, so that doesn't cover a large demographic: those with really young children. But I think it's an awesome idea, if it can be executed. I think the cost at PH was only $12 on top of the price of your ticket. Here in New York, the average babysitter starts about about $12 AN HOUR--if you're lucky.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#21

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 3:33pm

Here's the link to the Playwrights Horizons program:
http://www.playwrightshorizons.org/playtime.asp
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#22

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 5:44pm

Is CJR's post visible to anyone? I can't see it.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#24

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 5:54pm

Thanks, Phyl.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#25

There is a Simple Answer

Posted: 8/17/11 at 6:33pm

DAMMIT! I worried that would happen. This is why I so seldom post anymore. Rats.

Okay, so basically what I said was that once upon a time (before they hired me a competent staff) I had to be on call all the time I wasn't at the office for this one building I managed. I went to the movies several times during that time but was always very aware of the other people in the theater. My phone was always on silent, I always sat near the back, on the aisle, to make sure I wasn't in anyone's way should I need to leave and I would position my phone in my purse in such a way that I could see the messages coming in (without taking my phone out and being disruptive to those around me) and determine if there was an actual emergency or something I could handle when I got out of the movie (our service would call and then send a follow up text stating the nature of the tenant issue).

But not everyone is like that. I thought my boyfriend was going to slap someone silly the last time we went to the movies. One couple (in their 40s - old enough to know better) making out the entire time, another couple talking through the whole movie and a girl who answered her phone at a pivotal moment and had a full on conversation. For the love of God, if this is how you behave, Red Box the damn movie when it comes out on DVD.
"You're every gay man's wet dream!" ~ MA

If in Heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell...

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