Theatrical Wind Chill Factor

The thread on the longest plays and musicals prompted me to reflect upon an unfortunate reality of today's theatregoing experience: the discrepancy between how long a show is and how long it feels. It's like the wind chill factor in the weather report: it may be ten degrees outside, but it feels like ten below.

I'm afraid that nowadays the theatre has developed a wind chill factor of its own ---- an ill wind that blows no good. In the good old days, wonderful musicals like My Fair Lady or Hello, Dolly! ran two hours and 30-45 minutes. The time just whizzed by, and you never wanted the shows to end. Today, 90 minute shows like The Band's Visit, Ride the Cyclone, In Transit, Tiny Beautiful Things, etc. seem to go on forever, and you can't wait for them to end. Their 90 minutes have a theatrical wind chill factor of something like 90 days. The impossible A Life, one of the worst shows ever, seemed to last from here to eternity ---- and beyond. Then there are the actual lengthy, pretentious bores that make you sit through three+ hours of misery like The Flick, John, etc. They have a wind chill of infinity. Likewise the musical megabore, Hamilton. Was that duel EVER going to take place?

It would be nice if advertisements could provide us with this information in advance: running time, 90 minutes; with the wind chill, 90 minutes and three years --- without intermission!

Updated On: 11/28/16 at 08:43 AM

^

I guess your better judgment needs improvement.

BC,

Nope. I hoped I would actually be seeng a good musical. How foolish of me! As for the duel, I thought that if ever it finally came, the thing would nearly be over at last (or so I prayed.) It was a long time coming!

"Theatrical wind chill"...how long did it take you come up with such a dumb, LABORED metaphor?

Updated On: 11/28/16 at 04:42 PM

PJ,

You were dumb enough to read the post.

And announce it twice!

Updated On: 11/28/16 at 04:54 PM

^

Actually, it's a fairly recent ---and unfortunately, growing --- phenomenon, and not ever thus. Quite the opposite, actually, as I pointed out in my first post.



Perhaps you haven't been attending the theatre long enough to realize it.

AfterEight, you hate almost every new show you see. And anytime critics like something, you REALLY hate it. Why not accept that you don't like where theater has gone and pick up a book instead? Or go to the movies? Surely, it's a better use of time than suffering through hours upon hours of an art form that pleases you with infinitesimal rareness.



And why not just allow that people find meaning and entertainment in shows that you don't like? I couldn't stand Falsettos. It's a show that a lot of people find incredibly moving. Awesome. Let them be moved and entertained. Let them find joy and meaning and catharsis. I can just not see it again or listen to the music. And I'm done. I've shared my opinion, but I won't be posting about my dislike for the next two months.



Yes, there is a lot of critiquing on here, and that has value. While I often disagree with your takes, I equally as often find them interesting. But the insistence on pummeling shows repeatedly because they're the best received when you didn't like them is laborious at best and snobbery at worst.

At least the name "After Eight" already provides us with the disclaimer that every post under that name will be hypocritical pretentious nonsense.

And why not just allow that people find meaning and entertainment in shows that you don't like?

Because it doesn't support his character choice. He's playing the character he's written for himself and sticking to his script. Anything you say to him that doesn't support his character is irrelevant.

Sauja,

I did not begin this thread to "pummel shows repeatedly." I began it as a reflection upon an unfortunately all-too-common feature of today's theatregoing. The shows I cited were merely those that illustrated it most egregiously.

The truth is, I would much rather forget about the worst shows I've seen. But it's not so easily done with the worst of the worst.

Updated On: 11/30/16 at 04:14 PM

And here I thought I was going to open a thread about the air conditioning being cranked up too much in theaters.