Darnit, I thought you were actually proposing a musical.
Like,
"Don't wear this,
Don't wear that
Unless you really like looking fat.
Spandex pants?
I think not.
Next to you, Hillary Clinton looks hot.
At very least
Put on real clothes-- duh.
Don't skip pants like Eden Espinosa!"
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy