Etiquette: Sending flowers/greeting the cast

[rap2017]

Posted: 3/21/22 at 10:40pm

My wife & I are visiting NYC soon and one of our booked shows stars a former college classmate & castmate. It's been QUITE a while - she'd probably not recognize me and struggle to remember my name if I told her the show we did.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing her perform live again, and would get a kick out of just a 'hello'.

I thought I might just ask to pass a note at the box office, but my wife suggested having flowers delivered with the note. That seems odd to me, especially if they'd be delivered before the show. We've never pursued greets with the cast before - are there often informal ones after Broadway shows? Should we ask the theater if & where that happens?

I'm not looking for an autograph or even a selfie, but don't want to miss out on a chance to reconnect with a past friend who's gone on to Big Things if I can keep it short & sweet and un-weird for her too. Thanks for any suggestions.

[EDSOSLO858]

Posted: 3/21/22 at 10:58pm

What show are you seeing? If you don’t have the friend’s number or email, I’d recommend reaching out to one of the company managers for any information on this. 

[veronicamae]

Posted: 3/21/22 at 11:02pm

If this is someone you have a personal connection with, you should be able to reach out through more personal means (i.e. Facebook or Instagram direct messages) rather than the methodologies of fans.

If you are unable to do that, you can send an old-fashioned letter to her at the theater to remind her who you are and when you're seeing the show, and provide a way for her to contact you.

Regardless, I don't believe guests are allowed backstage at present, nor are actors spending a lot of time at stage doors talking to fans, due to COVID, so waiting at the stage door and hoping to get her attention enough to explain who you are may also prove challenging.

[Mike Costa]

Posted: 3/21/22 at 11:23pm

No need to send flowers.

Leave a card or handwritten note in envelope at the stage door sometime between 10 AM and curtain. The doorman will give it to your friend upon arrival or at least during the performance. You may want to include your cell number with the suggestion that they call you at intermission or before the performance to make plans for a greeting afterwards if they feels up to it.

Flowers are a little over-the-top.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/21/22 at 11:29pm

If you have a picture of yourself in the show you did with the actress, enclose it with your note.

Also, in your note, give your seat location as well as your cell #

[rap2017]

Posted: 3/22/22 at 7:19am

Thank you, everyone, for the very helpful suggestions.

We didn't continue any contact after college - things were different in those days! So I've got no personal contact info, and am really just a ghost from the past. I think I do have the college paper with a review of our show, and passing that on is a great idea. I did that with a successful playwright of a different show and had a fun chat with him over it.

Thanks again, I'll get a note there ahead of the show. And lurk through other threads for shows to fill our unclaimed slots.