my cabinet remains in flux.
let me make a few dadgum things clear:
1) i have a secret plan to end the ongoing war on fun and bring home the bacon.
2) can see connecticut from here if i get elected greenwich is freakin' toast!
3) i have eaten moose burgers, bison burgers, ostrich burgers, reindeer burgers and once herd about a popcorn popper being used to fry squirrel.
4) mccain is an old crank.
5) obama is a black commie.
6) biden's clinically insane and has no idea what will come out when he opens his mouth.
7) palin's a lightweight, but is eminently doable and if elected i will use an executive open her husband's drawers to exploration by paljoey and the highest bidders.
8 ) i'll personally bitch slap imadinnerjacket and make him spend the night with borstalboy.
9) as a gesture of togetherness with france, i will graciously consent to do sarkozy's woman.
10 ) over drinks, tony blair and i will laugh, point and make animal noises at gordon brown.
11) i will not massage angela merkel.
12) i have very intention of working the doe-eyed innocent face when hugo goes missing.
13) somebody's getting nuked, k?
14) i will convene the nation's greatest minds to develop new energy technology that doesn't rely on oil. i will shoot one scientist a day until this issue is resolved.
15) we're taking over canada, mexico and all of south america. see point #13. new entity to be named the western badass collective featuring dj hemisphere.
16) i will listen to whoever's calls i want. don't like it? leave earth, bitch.
17) findingnamo's in charge of health policy. anybody pisses him off? that's when i reach for my revolver.
18 ) i have no running mate. it's rumored that once in office i will kidnap tom friedman and force him to serve as veep.
19) i am suspending any and all laws a they relate to me and will henceforth be known as g(olden) g(od) mambo.
21) congress is out. all of them. senate and house. new elections to be held in 90 days. none of them are eligible to run again. tests to this will be answered with bullets, yo.
22) flat tax. no deductions, no loopholes, no nothing. everybody pays 15%. everybody. if you're hiding your money some place, be prepared to go and live there because we will kick your sorry ass right the eff out.
that's all i got for now.
write it in. you know you want a daddy in the white house.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
Updated On: 10/13/08 at 03:46 PM