A question for the Gays, the Lesbians, the Transgenders, etc. out there...

[Addison D.]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 10:49am

It's GLBTetc. Pride Month.

Do you live someplace with a big Pride parade?

If so, do you plan to march? During the last 20 years or so of the last century, I used to believe it was vital that everybody turn out in force. Now I find myself more interested in working in my garden, but with my conscience plagued by the memory of my youthful ideals.

I'm curious about people's thoughts on the topic.

Updated On: 6/23/12 at 10:49 AM

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 10:53am

HELL. TO. THE. NO. I avoid parades in NYC like the plague. Plus it's not like you can't go out any night of the week and get free condoms and see half naked men dancing on a raised platform. The Pride parade (to me, at least) has lost any sense of what it was meant to be. Plus, I'll be on vacation anyways. :)

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 10:54am

http://broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.php?thread=1047008&boardname=off&dt=33&boardid=2&mobile=on

[Addison D.]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 10:57am

Thanks for that! I did not realize that thread had evolved into a forum on the topic--I appreciate the re-direct.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 10:58am

Diva, what is that pic? LOL. I've been staring at it for weeks now.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 11:04am

I always stop by and cheer for the people marching for the first time, the people fighting for our right to marry, the friends I lost when a disease was ignored by politicians and the media, and for the kids who are still made to feel less than human, the kids who are bullied and ostracized and driven to suicide.

I don't march any more but I cheer for those who do. Garden if you like, but don't waste your time plaguing your conscience. It doesn't benefit anyone.

Ari Ezra Waldman, a brilliant young lawyer who does the legal blogs over at towleroad.com, spends every Pride Day doing volunteer work for a charity that benefits homeless gay kids or marriage equality.

I thought that was a wonderful way to spend pride. I may do that next year.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 11:52am

Jordan,

No idea! I just thought with all of the craziness around here, I should toss in my own little bit.

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 12:22pm

I stopped going about 8 years ago. In Denver the parade always starts in Cheeseman Park so I would go up to watch it leave the park and then go home.

Haven't been into for years and there have been years when I didn't think one was needed. Over the years I have felt that the gay community has had a few internal issues to work on.

[sally1112]

Posted: 6/23/12 at 11:05pm

I live in Louisville, KY. We just had our Pride celebration last weekend. It is not as big as a New York (of course) but I do try to get as many of my friends as possible to go. I think it is very important to attend and make our presence known.

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:16am

If all the gays in Palm Springs march, there will be nobody to watch. Even the local high schools send their marching bands to participate.

So those who don't feel like walking should come on out and cheer for those who do. (Our Pride parade is held in November because of the desert heat.)

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:23am

Holy cow! I remember performing at the last one they held in June, years ago! I didn't want to get out of the air conditioned car.

Good times...

[Addison D.]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 12:16pm

It's all well and good--and a philosophy that I generally agree with--to say that guilt is a waste of energy and emotion. But I think we are too quick to lump the pangs of 'guilt' and 'shame' together. (One of the best TED talks I've seen is Dr. Brene Brown's 'Listening to Shame'--well worth the 20 minutes). And the pangs of guilt that I feel when I contemplate taking a miss on the Pride Parade are important and useful for me.

The parade is going to be hot. And crowded. And annoying in many ways. And I've done it so many times. And it's going to be a festival of triggers for the addiction in which I lost myself for the past five-ish years.

But my life as an Openly Gay Man has been so easy. Yes, I was born into relative privilege, and I live in NYC, and I work in a very gay-friendly field of endeavor. But it isn't so long ago that a gay man with all my advantages had to live a closeted life--full of secrecy, self-denial and thwarted instincts. Generations of men and women fought HARD to make the world I live in now.

The LEAST I can do to honor their memory and demonstrate my gratitude for their HARD work is to drag my lazy, privileged ass to the parade and make sure that I am counted among the men and women who support the concept of GLBT rights and freedom. And I am going to cheer for every sequined, tattooed dude in a pink tutu with a marabou wand because I love him for the courage that he shows in being true to his inner tutu-wearing, wand-waving self. And it doesn't diminish my khaki shorts-wearing self for him to express it.

As someone may have said, or should have said: The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. I have been handed this flawed but essentially untrammeled freedom to be just as Gay as I want to be. But the status quo is not guaranteed--there are innumerable people out there who think my freedom threatens them and somehow mitigates against their own quality of life. I am old-school enough to believe that every head counts when the cameras pan across the crowd that line Fifth Ave. The freaks and drag queens of 1932 Berlin took their freedoms for granted. And that didn't work out so well.

So--I've got my khaki shorts on, and I'm heading out to the Parade. Happy Pride, everybody!!

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 12:40pm

I'm 25 and have lived in NYC for 7 years. I've never been. I have no desire. And I have absolutely no qualms with my sexuality, I just do not care for the very promoted promiscuity as a sense of "pride". Not saying everyone there is like that, but there's a great deal of it.

It's also way too freaking crowded.

[DAME]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 1:13pm

I am proud and supportive all year round. Just not into the parade and the crowds. It might also be that I am now older and ( for me) think of it as a twinks thing.

[Addison D.]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 1:20pm

Rather than re-word my previous post, I'll just add that I believe there are many legitimate, sincere and meaningful ways to be vigilant. I'm a parade-goer; not everyone needs to be.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 1:54pm

I'd like to hear why a 25 year old isn't interested in going to these? I can understand why some of us older folks, who have been to countless Pride festivals, don't wish to go.

We've been there, and seen that, hundreds of times....

But, why, at 25 do you have no interest in them at all?

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 3:10pm

I REALLY hate crowds. That's the number one reason. I don't really go to any parades because of it.

But mostly, I have some issues with the amount of sex that's flung around. I went twice to the Huntington, Long Island parade. When we first arrived, we were given goody bags with condoms and vaginal dams. Then, everywhere you look, someone's in ass-less chaps, someone's in a speedo, someone's got a chain hanging on their nipples... And I know there's a lot of other great groups at the parades, but I find that these individuals out-weigh them and are ALWAYS the ones who make it onto the evening news...

Which might explain why so many people thinks we're sex-crazed, bug-carrying nymphos...

I show pride in a lot of other ways all year long. The parade is something I have never really wanted to partake in.

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 3:15pm

Also, please note: I have nothing against that part of the parade. I just wish we could put even more positive things out there for the media to grab onto, now more than ever.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 3:33pm

Thanks for your answer. I totally understand what you are saying.

Why do straight people always think of gays as having sex, first thing off? Maybe because that's all we show them, when given the opportunity.

Why does everyone always have to whip out their junk?

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 3:45pm

Exactly. I know that it isn't the only thing that happens at the parade, but it is so out there, so on display.... and I don't get it. I don't know why some guy who has an 8-pack and a tiny bulge needs to show it off in a speedo to feel proud of being gay.

[Addison D.]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:03pm

Yes. But...

Really, the number of people at the parade who are in ass-less chaps or have chains on their nipples is extraordinarily small. The number of clean-cut, hetero-normative, mainstream types is legion.

So, I have to ask--why does the occasional image of an under-dressed reveler so scandalize, offend and disturb people? Is there any chance that this discomfort with sexuality around a Gay Pride event is raising just a teeny bit of internalized homophobia? Maybe?

Have you ever been to/seen images of Mardi Gras in NOLA? When confronted with thousands of (ostensibly) heterosexual people flashing their "junk" for shiny strings of beads do you cringe, and think that it's "bad" for straight people??? Why do you feel that homosexuals need to sanitize themselves in order to be taken seriously? What good is 'freedom' if its price is to sacrifice our joy in our bodies and our physicality?

iluvtheatertrash--I have to ask: why do you include the modifier "tiny"? Would it be OK if the guy was showing a 'huge' bulge? Is there a size-queen filter for when un-selfconscious enjoyment of one's own body is and is not acceptable?

(I've just read P.R.Stone's post, and I appreciate and share her desire to make clear that I don't mean--when discussing these highly personal opinions--to offend those who hold differing points of view. I'm guilty, doubtless, of the progressive liberal tendency to believe that people will be happier when the scales fall from their eyes and they see things just as I see them. But I hope that attempting to engage in dialogue isn't seen as hostility or a lack of respect...)

Updated On: 6/24/12 at 04:03 PM

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:09pm

I just wish we could put even more positive things out there for the media to grab onto

Addison pretty much already said this, but it reminds me of what Harvey Fierstein says in a link PalJoey posted in another thread:

"And by the way, there are tens of thousands of regular-looking folks marching every single year. Why the media never shows them on tv or in photos is grist for another entire program."

The "gay people just make everyone believe that all that they think about sex" is tiresome to me. The world has its straight pride parade everywhere, everyday, and they are there's never any shortage of overt sexuality and sexualization coming from that camp, you know?

And, as always, nothing personal meant in any of these comments. I don't agree with everything that iluvtheatretrash is saying, but I mean no disrespect.

Updated On: 6/25/12 at 04:09 PM

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:31pm

"So, I have to ask--why does the occasional image of an under-dressed reveler so scandalize, offend and disturb people? Is there any chance that this discomfort with sexuality around a Gay Pride event is raising just a teeny bit of internalized homophobia? Maybe? "

Occasional?! They are everywhere. My discomfort lay in the fact that you can be out and proud without having to parade around in your underwear. I mean, I'm all for supporting anyone who wants to celebrate as long as they are not hurting anyone else, but some people need to realize that they are out in public.

Also, Mardi Gras is not billed as STRAIGHT PRIDE, so I can't compare the two.

I mean, St. Patrick's Day is another one where people seem to use the holiday as an excuse to do things in public they wouldn't normally get away with.

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 6:07pm

I've been in a monogamous gay relationship for 35 years, but if the world isn't safe for the biggest player in nipple clips and a speedo, it isn't safe for my husband and me.

I am quite sure Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum make no such distinctions.

(I apologize if the word "player" above is offensive. I was looking for the most neutral and non-judgmental word I could find. I feel no need to make judgments on the consensual sexual practices of other adults.)

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 6:29pm

"I feel no need to make judgments on the consensual sexual practices of other adults"

Neither do I , until it's done out in public, where everyone can see you.