All the Baby Mamas

Posted: 4/6/05 at 11:05pm

Every day when I go over to 7-11 for a Diet Coke, it seems like I hear this song "Baby Mamas" by Fantasia. God, what a ghastly song. Apart from the obvious redundancy (Baby Mama? As opposed to Puppy Mama? Or Grown Adult Mama?), she complains how hard it is for her as a "Baby Mama": Her support checks are late, she has to work and try to take care of her baby, the daddy doesn't show up when he's supposed to, blah blah whine blah blah.

You know what Fantasia? You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! That is why you should NOT have a child until you are in a secure relationship and can afford to raise that child. Who told you to go get knocked up by some guy who you can't rely on for financial or emotional support? Condoms, girl. Every time. Or go get on the pill. Or be like the wholesome young Republican girls and stick to oral and anal. "No Vagina sex till there is a ring on my finger."

In any case, stop singing about it and get out there and tell the teenagers who voted you the American Idol "Don't have a baby until you are ready to take care of it! And you ARE NOT ready to take care of it until you have a roof over your head, a steady income and money in the bank...And a partner who will be there with you every day, forever."

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 4/6/05 at 11:10pm

Or just stop singing, period. That would be good, Fantasia.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 4/6/05 at 11:11pm

Preach on Preacha Rath.

[LittleFish8386]

Posted: 4/6/05 at 11:14pm

The Gospel according to Rath.

[Ellie3]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 12:34am

When did she start singing, Rath??

[TheBoyfromChi]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 12:41am

Maybe her next song can be about Baby Gramma, you know, the one who actually takes care of Fantasia's daughter? Not that I want to hear her singing anymore...

[Justice]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 1:44am

Believe it or not, i actually like that song. I also love the song she does with Missy Elliot. It's a good cd, and Baby Momma is an empowerment song for young single mothers.

[Kavana]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 1:55am

TRUTH GET IN HERE
Updated On: 4/7/05 at 01:55 AM

[Thetruth]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 2:45am

The post is definitly sexist.

Joekv99, First off you have no business judging this woman. Assuming from your handle, that you're a man, it's easy for you to say what a female should and shouldn't be doing with her body because it's not a reality you face. Had the circumstances been any diffrent, you might have been a baby mama yourself. I don't see how you could judge her because she could've easily had an abortion and nobody would be the wiser. She had the courage to have her baby.

She's stated in many interviews that it was not a good decision that she made when she was younger, but she's moved on and made positive choices since then. What's so wrong about that? I think many people expect a person to go sit in the corner all their lives because of one mistake. She's looking at a bad situation and telling single mothers that they can make it.

That's like saying that if a person contracts HIV/AIDS they shouldn't be able to make a positive song about it. THey should only sing songs entitled "Don't Let A Guy Bone You Raw."


And not once, did you address the situation of males not stepping up and taking care of their responsiblities. All you're gripping about is a song. Ofcourse, under the best circumstances you pick the right mate and have a long wonderful courtship resulting in a wedding and children. Unfotunately, that's not the world we live in. A man can get up and leave any time he wants to no matter how great the situation started out.

When it comes down to it, I don't believe you have a grasp of what this song means in it's cultural context. The song is not just about young girls who get knocked up. It's about single mothers in general. You can become a "baby mama" in a number of ways.

1. Unmarried to father of your baby.
2. Divorced from baby's father.
3. Baby's father is deceased.

Yes, that's right, Lachanze is a baby-mama!

[Justice]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 8:49am

Yay, LaChanze!!!!!!
I didn't know she had a child.
Then again, I didn't know she had been widowed.

[LittleFish8386]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 8:51am

Dude, my mom is a Baby Mama!

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:10am

The Truth, thanks so much for you wake up call! I never realized I was a man! I'll just take all my stupid opinions and bite myself, K?

And, No I would NOT in any circumstances be a "Baby Mama." I could at many times HAVE been a "Baby Daddy" and yet I realized that I was NOT READY to be a father, so I used contraception.

It doesn't take courage to have a baby, Truth, it takes a sperm and an egg. It takes courage to be responsible and say to your partner "Ooops, honey I love you, but you need to use contraception. I am not ready to be a Baby Mama!"

And I'm glad being an unwed single mother has worked out so well for Fantasia. I'm glad she realizes that getting pregnant at a young age was "not a good decision." Too bad she didn't put that in the song. Too bad she thinks that the worst part about being a young "Baby Mama" is that the Daddy's checks show up late.

And yes, you can be a "Baby Mama" in many way-- by which I guess we mean single mother. But this song isn't about widows or divorcees, it's about young girls getting pregnant and then complaining about it. And until the "Cultural Context" changes and we start telling kids to NOT get pregnant till they can take care of a baby, we have big problems.

[shameless]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:24am

Joe,

Why are you setting yourself up to get verbally bitch-slapped?

Oh, and I'm sure you know this, but no contraceptive is 100%. Many people trying to be responsible have gotten pregnant.

[robbiej]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:24am

I'm going to be horribly un-pc.

But back in the early 80's, gay men learned that sex without condoms could kill them. So they changed their behavior. And changed the course of the disease.

When the f*ck will stupid, Stupid, STUPID heterosexuals learn to put a f*cking condom on.

Honestly. Just plain f*cking stupid.

[Justice]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:30am

Not all gay men changed their behavior. There is a lot of unprotected sex still going on. Not that this justifies their stupidity. But, having a child is a beautiful thing. AIDS is not.
Fantasia was young. All of us have made our mistakes at young ages. We still make them, even now as we are older. Don't hold it against her. It's not like she's telling these girls to go out and have unprotected sex. Basically, she is singing about how hard it is to be a young single mother. If a girl wants to listen to that song and find inspiration to have a baby at a young age, well, then she is just plain stupid.

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:31am

I guess I'm un-PC with you, robbiej. Sometimes I think people don't know what causes children. Look at the paternity test shows on "Maury."

[robbiej]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:38am

No. Not all gay men have changed their behavior. That's f*cking stupid.

And I'm more than willing to admit that I, myself, have been REALLY F*CKING STUPID. Luckily, it didn't turn out badly for me.

I have friends in their late 20's who had to move the wedding up a year because they were too stupid to use birth control. The have a beautiful little girl. But their marriage is horribly strained because they didn't get to live their lives as a married couple before the baby came. I can't even BEGIN to imagine what kind of strain it is being a single, teenage mother. But condoms are available in every drugstore. And they are not particularly expensive.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:45am

My youngest sister is a baby mama. She wasn't a teen, she was 28. While I adore my nephew and am very thankful he is here, my sisters and nephews lives were made very difficult due to the absense of latex.

Updated On: 4/7/05 at 11:45 AM

[ckeaton]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 11:52am

I agree with 98.5% of the original post.

TheTruth, Fantasia is celebrating a section of our culture that does not care about irresponsibility. There are plenty of venues that celebrate single mothers.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 12:12pm

My sister is a Baby Mama. She had to drop out of college because of it. I mean, yes they have hard times and it is very sad what the single mother has to do to keep food on the table but someone needs to make a song of encouragement and hope for all these "Baby Mamas" out there instead of complaining like many songs before this one. I mean, trust me....single mothers have a lot to complain about and rightfully so but.....I don't know. I just don't like Fantasia so that is what I have against the song.

[robbiej]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 12:17pm

AND there are many single mothers who do quite well...and who are single mothers by choice...not accident.

In the end, I do have compassion for anyone in a tough situation like this. But I like to believe that many unplanned pregnancies for people who are not quite ready to handle the responsibility of parenthood (single or otherwise) can be avoided through proper education on birth control techniques and a respect for one's body, one's partner's body and, most importantly, the body of the child for which they'll be responsible for a VERY LOOOOOOOONG TIME.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 12:25pm

My sister was a baby mama and like all - I love my nephew, but her life has been very difficult. It stopped her dead in her tracks and she has not recovered. But, on the other hand that is the only baby that she could have, so I guess it is a blessing.

Part of the education must be to teach young women not only about birth control, but knowing their bodies and about ovulation.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 12:49pm

I teach at an all girls high school. Interesting population to deal with! We have comprehensive courses on sex/birth control/family life issues, etc. To my knowledge, we have not had a teen pregnancy in the past 5 years. But the girls are very honest about the choices they make and they tell us that alcohol is a major problem - especially on the weekends. Many admit that under the influence, they forget everything we have discussed in class and just "go with the moment". Some get so drunk, they don't remember what they did or didn't do the night before. Teen pregnancy and STD's don't occur to them until after fact. Yes - we're also working on the drinking problem, but with much less cooperation from the parents (who are all too willing to look the other way or even provide a keg or two themselves).

Drinking is also the main cause of traffic-related injuries and death. In September one of our Seniors died in an alcohol related accident. For a whole, um....month, everyone was decrying the effect of teenage drinking/driving/stupid sex. One month later, it was back to business as usual.

I hate to be cynical about educational initiatives, but sometimes I get very discouraged. As much as we try to inform the mind, we're working with a big maturity deficit.
Updated On: 4/7/05 at 12:49 PM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 1:43pm

I find it profoundly sad and ironic that some people get accidentally pregnant all the time, while other people who would be fabulous parents and are ready to be that, are not physically able.

And also that Fantasia has a record contract.

Updated On: 4/7/05 at 01:43 PM

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 4/7/05 at 1:46pm

Actually, I have no problem with someone owning up to the error of their ways.
But to title a song "Baby Mama"? What the hell, girl, go with GRAMMAR!
I can't stand this phrase. And I hate how music today has glorified some absolutely idiotic phrases.
Baby mama (or baby daddy or whatever) just sounds stupid. And it does indeed seem to suggest you can be a mama of some other kind.
On second though, I guess when she writes a song called "Sugar Mama" about how she's paying, through her American Idol success, for her layabout boyfriend, the distinction will be necessary and welcome.