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American Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence

American Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence

#1American Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 3:15pm

Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.


All they smelled was the matches? Lucky lucky.

She Dealt, they Smelt Updated On: 12/5/06 at 03:15 PM

SweetQintheLights
#1re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 3:16pm

ROFL!

If that weren't real, it could be on a joke thread!


"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

Link Larkin Wanabe Profile Photo
Link Larkin Wanabe
#2re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 3:24pm

The plight of us smelly people will never end.

Akiva

WOSQ
#3re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 3:55pm

Choice A - flatulence

Choice B - necking homosexuals

Now which would you rather have your American Airlines flight brought down by?


"If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable." --Carrie Fisher

#4re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 4:04pm

Why can't we have flatulent necking homsexuals? Why must it be always either/or???

aspen Profile Photo
aspen
#5re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 6:35pm

Wow... I just feel bad for that poor woman =/ How embarrassing.

I'm a pretty girl. I don't burp or poo-poo or do yucky things like that, but I feel sorry for those who do.


iHeartMyGeek: But Pittsburgh also has many good qualities too!
ahmelie: Are you implying that twinkies and lesbians are bad? BITCH!

Elphaba Profile Photo
Elphaba
#6re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 6:47pm

"While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane."

and that in a nutshell explains all that is wrong in this F-ing country. How utterly ridiculous. (that matches are even allowed on a plane)


It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956

#7re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 6:48pm

Pretty Girls can fart like a trucker. Didn't you ever watch Newlyweds? Jessica Simpson can clear an airplane easy.

Type_A_Tiff Profile Photo
Type_A_Tiff
#8re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 6:51pm

Better yet, that matches are allowed on a plane but lighters aren't. What can lighters do that matches can't??


"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)

"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater

"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell

Elphaba Profile Photo
Elphaba
#9re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 6:53pm

er, lighters have liquid in them.......a liquid I believe that can cause an explosion.......neither should be allowed.


It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956

The Grovers Corners Yenta
#10re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 7:01pm

" Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard Beano Airlines flight 125 for Dallas/Fort Worth. They have really good chili there. As soon as the ground crew finishes gassing our tanks up, we will be ready take off. Our inflight movie today is BLAZING SADDLES complete with the famous campfire scene. Our meal service today consists of stuffed cabbage, brussels sprouts and onion rings. For your comfort and protection, please wear your oxygen masks at all times during the flight. This is your Captain, Lance Fartz wishing you a pleasant flight."


"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.

orangeskittles Profile Photo
orangeskittles
#11re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 7:23pm

"While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane."

Ugh, I agree Elphaba. You're not allowed to have more than 3-ounces of liquid- water, lotion, shampoo- but you can have more than enough than is capable to start a fire, in closed quarters with pure oxygen and gasoline readily available. Yeah, that makes sense.


Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

StageManager2 Profile Photo
StageManager2
#12re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 8:11pm

LOL@Yenta!


Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia

DottieD'Luscia Profile Photo
DottieD'Luscia
#13re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 10:18pm

I wonder if this is the same woman who sat next to Jordan Catalano during a performance of "The Vertical Hour" on November 13th.


Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

Jane2 Profile Photo
Jane2
#14re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 10:49pm

"I don't burp or poo-poo or do yucky things like that, but I feel sorry for those who do."

LOL, I feel sorry for YOU. You don't do poo-poo? You're probably so full of $hit that you're ready to explode any minute! I'd hate to be on your plane, LOL! POWZOOM!

Also, post a picture. Let us be the judge of whether or not you're pretty.


<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES

StageManager2 Profile Photo
StageManager2
#15re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:00pm

For what it's worth, Jane2, I don't flatulate/defecate either.


Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia

Jane2 Profile Photo
Jane2
#16re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:05pm

Haha, neither did my father.


<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES

TheatreDiva90016 Profile Photo
TheatreDiva90016
#17re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:14pm

I used to hold in my farts until I got home, then I'd just blow myself around the room. After I got caught up in the drapes, I stopped.

Now I fart freely in public.


"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

nomdeplume
#18re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:26pm

TheatreDiva, we should all heed the advice of your experience.

No doubt you fart roses and are welcome at the finest salons to share your gift to discriminating noses.

As for the femme in the plane. If methane gas from chickensh*t can power things, perhaps there is an easy source for future fuel that has not been well enough considered.

StageManager2 Profile Photo
StageManager2
#19re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:29pm

"No doubt you fart roses and are welcome at the finest salons to share your gift to discriminating noses."

Is that a poem?


Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia

Jane2 Profile Photo
Jane2
#20re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:34pm

Sounds like a country music song.


<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES

nomdeplume
#21re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/5/06 at 11:46pm

Oh, his farting done me wro-o-ong!

Type_A_Tiff Profile Photo
Type_A_Tiff
#22re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/6/06 at 2:15am

Potentially idiotic question, but CAN the liquid from lighters cause explosions or is it more of a catalyst that strengthens a fire? Either way, for matches to be allowed and lighters to be banned is ridiculous. Ban them both! (And this is coming from a smoker who's forgotten to stick her lighter in her check-in luggage and then having it confiscated at security!)


"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)

"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater

"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell

Link Larkin Wanabe Profile Photo
Link Larkin Wanabe
#23re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/6/06 at 2:51am

Tiff,

I ALWAYS get my lighter confiscated. I always totally forget that I haev one buried somewhere in my carry-on bag.

Akiva

Type_A_Tiff Profile Photo
Type_A_Tiff
#24re: America Airlines Plane brought down by Flatulence
Posted: 12/6/06 at 3:00am

It's happened to me twice now. I was so dumbfounded when I went into the past-security smokers' lounge and saw people with matches. I was going, "You must've stuck them in your shoe, right, you clever boy?!"


"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)

"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater

"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell


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