Blame Jon and Kate for the Octuplet mom- Page 2

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 8:59am

I think she comes across as snipey as well, but it could be editing, you never know.

[nygrl232]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 9:21am

Sigh.

Now *I'm* starting to feel like Jon..

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 9:22am

But I was agreeing with you!

[Auggie27]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 12:16pm

I'm bothered by the new splinter discussions that are trying to make this about the unfairly maligned plight of the single woman. Thursday, a friend pushed the point, saying if Nadya had a husband, we'd be charmed, excited, cooing. I argued vehemently that irresponsibility is iresponsibility; merely having a partner or spouse does not make having a family the size of a small kindergarten class "charming."

My friend argued that this case has brought up a lot of "single woman hatred," a la FATAL ATTRACTION. I feel strongly that observation is way off point, and if this cultural debate is hijacked by that argument, we will miss an opportunity to examine parent-child/family-size issues that impact all people, married, single (and straight and gay).

There is no bigger commitment in life than the one made to parent a (single) child. Every individual must examine his or her heart -- and also the depth and breadth of his resources, his support network, the size and availability of the immedate village around him or her required to raise children. Those resources are financial and otherwise; they include significant others, a sufficient number of loving family members and friends.

A single person with virtually no money and at best ambivalent family (and apparently no church congregation)-- especially one who sees the creation of biological children as a solution to repairing a psychic wound created by her own family of origin -- has no business having a brood. One she cannot pay for.

This is not a feminism-testing case.

That isn't "single woman" hating, that is humanistic pragmatism. We are appalled by a delusional person's denial, narcissism and mounting hubris, and frightened for the safety of these fourteen souls.

The welfare of children -- many of whom in this beleagured family are female, after all, and will face an uphill battle in a cruel world -- IS a feminist issue.

That is the bottom line, and layering in a (post-) feminist interpretation, suggesting that our loathing of the single woman has blinded our empathetic responses to her "rights" is, well, to my thinking as delusional as this egonmaniac's defense of what can only be described as deeply selfish and careless actions.

Updated On: 2/14/09 at 12:16 PM

[Q]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 12:35pm

Bravo, Auggie. BRAVO!

[supportivemom]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 12:42pm

Well put Auggie! I couldn't believe when Octomom tried to pull the single mom thing on Ann Curry. To me, it didn't matter if she was married or not. When you already have 6 children- you don't need to go to a clinic for more- not even one more. I understand they have to implant more in hopes that one will take but with that much risk of multiples- well- those clinics are for people who are desperate to have one child! The Duggers have found a way to make it work. They have a strong belief in their family and church. Their reality show didn't even start until last year and I personally think they went into it to spread their word for Jesus- not to get money. To me, it's very obvious that they love each other and you never see them griping at each other. As crazy as I think they are- I never see them disrespect each other. Jon and Kate have been doing this since the 6 were born. I watch because I like watching the kids. However, I can definitely see how much they love all the free stuff and vacations. I also get a kick out of Kate making sure everyone know she's in charge! Maybe they're just uncomfortable on camera but I don't see on the show where they really love each other (I'm sure they do- I just don't SEE it). When they renewed their vows, she was more worried about the kids and not her husband. When they danced, they weren't even holding each other close. The Duggers are always kissing on each other and saying how much they love each other. I guess it's the editors! Back to your point auggie- this is definitely NOT a loathing of single women for me. It's a total LOATHING of selfishness!

[Anakela]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 1:00pm

I was actually more incredulous at, not at the single mom claim, but the claims that there is all this "backlash" against octomom just because she's not white. Really? Really??

[supportivemom]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 1:02pm

I hadn't heard that Anakela. There is a black family in Texas who had 8 babies about ten years ago- although one died shortly after birth. I saw them on one of the morning programs. Why didn't they ever get a show?

[chinkie azn jai]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 4:21pm

"I am sure they have some kind of editorial/creative control over what makes the final cut, so I always wonder what gets left out of the footage of how she acts towards him... sorry, whoever coined the phrase "Jon Minus Nine" still makes me laugh."

When Kate came to my church to speak about her life, she told us that they have no editing control over the episodes. They do get to watch them before they air, but that's it. She said if they had control, they would show that their family is very Christian based. She also addressed the many comments that she gets about how she acts towards Jon. She said it's all very harmless and that's just how they are.

[supportivemom]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 5:15pm

So- did Jon get a chance to speak at your church as well?

[Chip12]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 5:42pm

I don't get what all the hubbub about this is. I mean, I'm part of a family of 9 (plus Mammy and Papa who live with us, and our beagles) and all us kids get plenty of love. People need to stop discriminating against these good, Christian families.

Be fruitful and multiply!!LOL

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 6:44pm

There is something very different about conceiving 9, or even 14, kids naturally than crapping out all these kids at once. In large naturally born families, children are spaced out in a way that allows children to take on more responsibilities in the household as they age and the family grows. My mother is also one of 9 (strict Catholic family) but the oldest and youngest are almost 20 years apart, there were always plenty of older brothers and sister around the house to help with chores.

This woman is a single woman without an income, who doesn't even have the support of her parents, with 14 children UNDER THE AGE OF 7! That is a problem.

Updated On: 2/14/09 at 06:44 PM

[chinkie azn jai]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 7:10pm

No, only Kate was there.

[supportivemom]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 8:38pm

That's what I figured chinkie.

[winston89]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 10:06pm

I feel that if Octomom was married then people wouldn't be pointing the finger at her for doing something stupid. I feel that if she were married then people would be asking where the husband was when all this happened and try to figure out what part he played in all of this.

As far as blaming Jon and Kate for this, I find that to be just flat out stupid. As BNN said, they had to go through fertility treatments to have their first kid but instead of one, they ended up with twins. I remember reading that they wanted a second one and could have adopted but decided not to. Kate wanted to have fertility treatments again and that, in some strange course of events, got her pregnant with six kids. The main difference between them and octomom is that kate had trouble from the get go at just even having one kid. But, in the end she got more then she thought that she was going to have. Octomom just has some sick child fetish and loves popping out kids one after another.

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 2/14/09 at 10:40pm

If octomom had some sort of means to support these children people would not be making a hub bub. I don't know why people are trying to make this into some anti-feminist sentiment. The bottom line is, she has NO MEANS TO SUPPORT HER FAMILY and yet continues to reproduce.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 1:45pm

I blame the James Bond films, Octopu$$y!
Updated On: 2/15/09 at 01:45 PM

[best12bars]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 1:48pm

Unless you're running either a farm or a sweat shop in the 19th century, there is no reason to have eight children, let alone 14.

None.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 2/15/09 at 1:50pm

Or a cult.