Boring suburban gays and the death of bohemia

I'm sorry, but it is not my purpose in life to entertain Mr. Hockney. I did the bohemian thing in my 20s; now I'd rather spend time with my stepchildren and grandchildren.

So shoot me!

No, Namo, I was speaking as one member of a class of millions of gays that Mr. Hockney derides as "suburban". I don't think we are obligated to behave in a certain way for his entertainment.

Hockney is not the first person to make this argument. Although Kathy Griffin has come around to be a staunch supporter of marriage equality, when the issue first arose she had a conversation on her reality show with Mario Cantone, both mocking the idea of gay marriage because it would "ruin" gay culture.

And they may be right: as I'm sure you know, every minority faces the problem of assimilation and the risk that by assimilating the group will almost certainly give up some of the qualities that make it special. But that's the price we pay for equal rights.

As for your last question, I am not in the least "defensive". I too sometimes miss the "forbidden" gay culture of the years right after Stonewall. But arguing for gay marginalizaion to preserve camp (which is basically the "bohemia" of which Hockney speaks) is like arguing for the return of Jim Crow laws to preserve the blues.

Updated On: 5/12/15 at 11:13 PM

I agree with him. There was never a meeting where it was decided that marriage and the military were top priorities. Those of us who are gay liberationists, who thought we could create a better world for ourselves and consequently everybody else, have a right to be dismayed by all the people who whine "But we're JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE."

All these generalizations are silly.

There are suburban gays, boho gays, and gays who like flair

There are urban gays, so-so gays, and gays with no hair

Be who you are and accept the rest

There's room for all in our big gay nest

...Those of us who are gay liberationists....

How does one get to be in a position of such authority that they can label themselves as a "gay liberationist"? Many of us went through 1980s and survived, many of us protested, many of us are gay. Does that mean we're all liberationists?

Updated On: 5/13/15 at 09:05 AM

"Well, it's certainly easier to be bohemian when you've been wildly successful. "

Bingo.

Who the hell can afford to be bohemian in San Francisco anymore?

And yet those assimilationists foisting marriage on us are all coming out of big cities, too! I've lived in NYC, I've lived in Chicago. I've spent oodles of time in San Francisco. Gay men I knew were coupling off and settling down in all those places, too! I think it's kind of a universal human thing.

Another quality that is universal is the SH*Tty judgment and superiority from other gays who think their experience is somehow more valid that everyone else who doesn't conform to their nonconformity. Is that what bohemia is?

Updated On: 5/13/15 at 10:50 AM

That Hockney article is more boring than the domestigays Hockney whines about.

Hockney said in an interview that too many gay men were determined to lead ‘ordinary’ lives by entering into civil partnerships and having children through adoption or surrogate mothers.

Lowder's article IS fantastic...and it's going to take me about a week oir so to finish it. It's the gay War and Peace.

But Lowder also defines what Namo means specifically by "gay liberationists"--so go read the article, Headband.