Britney's Poem

[shesings]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:05pm

Presenting the wonderful poetic works of Miss Britney Spears. This is a poem about her delightful honeymoon with Mr. Federline. I know you will all appreciate this because ..... err..... welll... it's written SO well!

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

[broadwaystar2b]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:08pm

well, she's no Maya Angelou

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:11pm

Now I know why the caged bird slit its wrists to get away from Mrs. Federline...

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:14pm

If Brit was going to pay someone to write her a poem, she should've at least picked a person over the age of ten.

[shesings]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:15pm

now, now, you KNOW that a poem is only good if it rhymes

[StateOfJade]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:34pm

Oh man that's embarassing.

[zoran912]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:39pm

Well...


...that's sweet.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:44pm

oy vey. that girl's a mess

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 10:57pm

LOL where was this published?

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 11/27/04 at 11:27pm

Is that poem really Britney's work? Or is this a joke?





Well, here's a Britney quote that (sadly) isn't a joke:

" A lot of people think you should wait till you're older to have kids. I've had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world & back and even kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven't done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that's having a baby. I can't wait!"


Yes, ladies and gentleman. She's going to procreate ASAP.
Britney's Latest Letter

Updated On: 11/28/04 at 11:27 PM

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 12:12am

"The only thing I haven't done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that's having a baby"

Now. Class.
Is she comparing the baby to God? The act of giving birth God? The sexual intercourse God? Or is the man with whom she has the sexual intercourse "God"?


Until i know this, I cannot properly interpret this brilliant and philosophical life lesson Ms. Spears is trying to thrust upon us.

[zoran912]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 12:16am

Aww...

I've missed you, Priesty.

More specifically, I've missed your biting wit. Liam is about as witty as this board gets anymore.

[OneBlazeOfGlory]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 12:16am

'well, she's no Maya Angelou '

'Now I know why the caged bird slit its wrists to get away from Mrs. Federline... '


Haha

[zoran912]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 12:21am

Haha indeed.

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 1:24am

Wow...that brings her to an alltime low.

[NuggetMonkeys]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 1:30am

I wouldn't mind if she would thrust upon me, that's for certain.
-d.b.j-

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 1:52am

I'm gay, and even I wouldn't mind that!

Has anyone noticed that when Britney first emerged, all her songs were written for her. Until it was guaranteed, especially with her latest new ablum, that her records would sell like crazy no matter how bad the material on them was. So she started writing lyrics herself for IN THE ZONE. Can't you just see the producers and record execs. being handed a piece of paper with her lyrics on them and them being like "Greaaaaat, Britney....you're REAAAAAAALLY good at this!"

Wow that was awful. Why did I type that.

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 2:16am

I heart NuggetMonkeys.

(that said, please do the thrusting in another room.)

[GaLiNdaFied]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 3:24am

WOW.

And this, ladies and gentlemen is what our future generations look up to.

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 7:20pm

To make this abomination even funnier, read it aloud with an obnoxious Southern accent. Actually, that makes everything she says funnier...

[shesings]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 8:14pm

I just read it again .... still funny
oh Britney, she never ceases to amaze me!

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 8:39pm

shesings...where did you find that?

[zaneyb3000]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 10:30pm

*wonders what Creative Writing prof. would think of this poem*

[NuggetMonkeys]

Posted: 11/28/04 at 11:55pm

I love shesings.
-ahem-
i love YOU, shesings.
i cannot believe i just said that.
(((is scared of rejection)))
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I love Aiea, my wonderful Hawaiian goddess, but not like that. Aiea, you are my big sister (with privileges. HAH! ew, i am so kidding, i cant stand people who say that.)
Shesings is my e-crush.
-d.b.j-

Updated On: 11/28/04 at 11:55 PM

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 11/29/04 at 12:08am

Man, with all these online brothers I'm getting, Christmas shopping is going to be impossible this year!