Butts Need Toilet Paper
Butts Need Toilet Paper
Joined: 12/31/69
#1Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 4:51pm
MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.
She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."
Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.
Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said.
Butts insisted it was the first time she'd pilfered toilet paper, but she declined to answer further questions on her attorney's advice.
The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state's habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions.
Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.
Yahoo!
#2re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 4:54pm
She should have used that eco-friendly stuff that what's-his-name was going on about.
What was his name? You know, the one who left in a huff a few weeks ago.
....but the world goes 'round
#2re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 4:55pm
It will happen eventually, so I might as well be the one who does it...
-She must be wiped out from stealing that much toilet paper.
-What a shi**y reason to go to jail.
-Man, that prosecutor - what an ass.
I'm on a roll... 
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#3re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 5:00pmYes Pat, I am afraid this will leave a bad mark on her record. The whole case really stinks. Thta proseuctor should Butt out. She was only gone steal one but she was on a roll.
#4re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 5:02pmsee this wouldn't happen if she'd had a compost toilet.
SweetQintheLights
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/12/05
#5re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 6:24pm
If someone really feels the need to take a roll (or rolls) of toilet paper, I say let 'em.
"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule
"I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178
#7re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 6:39pm
I agree CATS. WTF?
I'm strictly a corn cob man.
....but the world goes 'round
vmlinnie
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/19/06
#8re: Butts Need Toilet Paper
Posted: 6/11/07 at 6:41pm*shivvers*
The rain we knew is a thing of the past -
deep-delving, dark, deliberate you would say
browsing on spire and bogland; but today
our sky-blue slates are steaming in the sun,
our yachts tinkling and dancing in the bay
like racehorses. We contemplate at last
shining windows, a future forbidden to no one.
Derek Mahon
"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."
Arthur Miller
deep-delving, dark, deliberate you would say
browsing on spire and bogland; but today
our sky-blue slates are steaming in the sun,
our yachts tinkling and dancing in the bay
like racehorses. We contemplate at last
shining windows, a future forbidden to no one.
Derek Mahon
"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."
Arthur Miller
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
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