Clay's not fakin' anymore- Page 3

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:26pm

Reuters has confirmed it- I NEVER believe Perez "Castro is SO dead!" Hilton about anything.
Reuters

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:37pm

I will say that it's nice that he's ostensibly come out on his own accord, rather than being forced out because of some scandal.

[Maraclea2]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:43pm

Well this is no fun. No cartwheel, no mikers, no nobody.

And really, Clay is still as asexual as he was before he came out so who else cares?

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:49pm

Sometimes when I see you've posted at the end of a thread, I read it as Marianne2. Then I see the avatar and laugh!

IS he still going to be asexual? Remember that New Yorker interview (which I still remember fondly because they called him arch and queeny) where he said I just don't have those kinds of feelins y'all. Is that weird y'all?

[nygrl232]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:49pm

"Well, stop the presses, did you figure that out all by yourselves, silly buns?"

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:53pm

Well, here's the question in my mind.

Clay says now that he has a child, he doesn't want to teach it to live a lie. But before it was born, Clay was content to live a lie. And if he never had the kid, would he keep living a lie?

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 9:58pm

"I will say that it's nice that he's ostensibly come out on his own accord, rather than being forced out because of some scandal."

I guess the hotel hookers were just 'old' scandal.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:01pm

I must have missed the hotel hookers. Whatever it was, it wasn't something that reached a media frenzy, like George Michael does every time he goes into a men's room.

[Pippin]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:07pm

give it time. He will have his moment in the public bathroom, I'm sure.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:09pm

You don't remember all the IM's that the escort released? Or when he came here on this board and confronted Cartwheel?!



Priceless moments.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:11pm

No, I must have missed that!

[blueroses]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:11pm

I remember that, Diva! What a night.

[best12bars]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:12pm

Having done the "self denial" thing myself, I understand exactly what he went through (and is going through now).

Coming out was a very natural and freeing thing for me, and I hope it is for him too. I applaud him. At least I didn't have to do this in front of millions of people.

And I agree that ultimately, this should be a non-event. Maybe it will be for Clay. I sure hope so. I'm glad he found his "realization." Mine was in some very simple words of advice from my father about Christmas, strange as that sounds. For Clay, it was the birth of his son.

I'm glad he came to terms, in his own way and on his own clock... and I hope it encourages others to do the same.

All that said... I still hate American Idol, and I think I've listened to all of ONE of his songs ONCE. But I understand that he has loyal fans and followers, so for them and for him, I'm glad he did this.

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:33pm

I agree with everything you just said, besty.

I was rather surprised to see Elphaba's comment: "so.....it was ok to lie and hide things before the baby?" As a gay man, one should know how difficult it is to come to terms with one's homosexuality in our society. For some it is more difficult than for others. It takes some people many years to come to terms with it within themselves, let alone to family and friends. And Clay had to go through his own individual coming-out process not only within himself and his close ones, but with the scrutiny of millions. I cannot imagine having to go through the entire range of emotions and fear that comes with first coming out on such a large scale, as he had to do.

I, for one, am proud of him, and I hope he finds inner peace.

We shouldn't berate him for not having been far enough along in his own inner journey to come out earlier; we should celebrate the fact that he no longer feels the need to hide who he is, whether it be hiding it from others or from himself.

Bravo, I say.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:36pm

Besty and Priest - thank you.

I wanted to write much the same, but your words say everything so eloquently, I have nothing else to add.

Except that I wish Clay well, and I hope he finds peace, acceptance and love in his life.

Just as I hope everyone does.

[BroomstickBoy]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:48pm

I'm happy for him as well. Good that he finally is comfortable enough to come out on his own volition.

It's one of those things about parenthood that changes you. You realize it's not just your life anymore, you share your life with your family, whether you like it or not and you really start to see the bigger picture.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:51pm

When you have a child, it is perfectly natural to look at your own life and ask, "Who am I? Am I living my life in a way I can be proud of? Am I the BEST I can be?" You are faced with your own mortality and you realize that your own life has a purpose beyond making money, being popular, owning a house, winning awards or any other "material" accomplishment. Not that you need to have a child to find your "higher purpose," but it is one means to achieving it.

I became a better person after I had my daughter. It doesn't mean my journey to self-discovery and improvement has ended. It never will, I'm sure. But becoming a parent made me realize how important it is to take that journey.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:53pm

Here's the thing, though - and I'm more or less playing devil's advocate, because I haven't read the article yet - did he REALLY just complete the journey of coming out or did he just come out publicly? Around the time Idol it, his Manhunt and/or Gay.com profile was making the rounds before it was deleted, leading me to assume that at whatever level of outness he found himself, he was out enough to put a picture of himself on the internet trolling for dick.

Add that the the years of all but out and out denials ("I just don't have the sexy feelins, y'all") that even then came off as transparent and disingenuous and I just get an icky feeling. I don't know how it will be spun and I really don't care one way or the other because I don't need HIM as a role model, but I think there's a distinction between coming out and coming out publicly when you're a celebrity.

I agree that more visibility of gay people is generally a good thing, but I can't help but shake the hunch that these years of soul-searching were more about how to stay on this gravy train he's on rather than come to terms with himself as a gay man. And I don't judge him for that (ETA- I don't judge him that much), because I'm not sure I'd have that much integrity either when fame and money were involved, but I think about all that stuff and I just can't be all "Yay Gay Clay."

Updated On: 9/23/08 at 10:53 PM

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:54pm

Good for him! I am sure no reasonable person is surprised or cares that he is gay. The surprise comes from him announcing it so boldly. I never would have thought he was ready, but it will free him. Again, GOOD FOR YOU, CLAY!!!!

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:56pm

I had mentioned on the main board, but I'll repeat it here-I do admire that although it meant possibly losing a great deal of fan base, he felt it was more important to be true to himself. Good for him.

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 10:58pm

"I can't help but shake the hunch that these years of soul-searching were more about how to stay on this gravy train he's on rather than come to terms with himself as a gay man."

Maybe. That very well could be the case. But, really, there is no way to know, so I figure give him the benefit of the doubt.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 11:08pm

As Besty's post suggests, it's difficult enough coming to terms with who you are when you're living your life "anonymously" or "out of the limelight." We "ordinary people" are challenged to become who we are meant to be...imagine what it's like living every minute in a fish bowl.

He's come to a place of peace in his life. I humbly and sincerely ask, "Who are we to judge?"

Congratulations to him! And his new baby!

[Q]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 11:15pm

"Who are we to judge?"

That's what kept going through my mind while all hell was rained down on his head before this announcement.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 11:17pm

ABC news is also going to announce it tonight too. I saw previews during Dancing with the Stars. And honestly, I really don't care either way. It doesn't shock me, but more power to him for wanting to come out.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/23/08 at 11:26pm

As Besty's post suggests, it's difficult enough coming to terms with who you are when you're living your life "anonymously" or "out of the limelight

Sure, but life is also a lot harder when you don't have those limelight resources, either. It may be harder struggling with your desire to suck dick when you have a bizarro fan base to alienate, but I think each side of spectrum has its pros and cons.

And it's nice to say "who are we to judge?" but I think we pick and choose who we aren't and aren't going to judge (and then in turn judge those we think are judging). I am a gay man who was out in the midwest from the age of 17 on, earlier if you count the years of being called faggot before I was even able to grasp exactly what that meant. I'm a gay man who has seen some progress in those almost twenty years since I came out, but most days I am STILL flabbergasted not at how far we have to go, but how oftentimes it feels like we're going backwards.

So, yeah, I'm judging, but I think I've earned it. And I'm well aware to some it will read like it's sour grapes or that I have a chip on my shoulder, and that's fine, too.

(PS - I know no one was speaking of me specifically, so please don't read that post as defensive. I am well aware that I'm in the minority here. Peace!)








Updated On: 9/23/08 at 11:26 PM