For those that are homosexual...

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:01am

May I ask why you are? If I am offensive in anyway, please, shut me up. But what are you proud of and what makes you represent those rainbow stripes?

I really don't mean to pry...but I have a...debate. You can say, coming up. And I would just like to get some things straight. Sort of like an insider's look. Is it because you just can't stand the opposite sex? Is the sex better? Is it a belief? A right? A priviledge? Please, let me know. This is a completely serious topic, and I really will not tolerate any joking responses.

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:06am

I will answer your question easily after you tell me why you're straight.

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:07am

I think someone (jacobsf?) had a thread similar to this a few months back that you could look up. As a hetero female, I may not provide much perspective on this, however I think you should ask yourself, "Why are you straight?" I think many gays would say it's not a (conscious) choice, really, any more than you being straight is a choice. But I would bet they would say their preference is most certainly a right and not a privilege.


ETA: Way to steal my comment, DG.

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 04:07 AM

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:08am

Well, I haven't really been able to "explore" both sexes. I'm not really looking for any sort of relationship right now. But frankly, I think I may be bisexual. I could, could not be for all I know. I see no difference except in body parts. I've seen some of the "girlest" men and some very masculine women. We really are flirting with the line that separates the genders. So I can't really give you an exact reason why I'm straight. Most logical reason is that I was raised in an "all-straight" family.

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:11am

So do you think that your "straightness" or "gayness" is the result of socialization? (Honest question - I've wondered it myself.) I don't think this is always the case - you can ask the number of out gay folks on this board who were raised and live in very conservative red states.

And then, of course, you have to wonder about what constitutes as "being gay" or "straight"? Is it purely defined by carnal desire? What about emotional chemistry?

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:14am

That's what I want to know. Was it a force of nature? Or a decision you made by yourself one day: "Screw men, I love women!" or vice versa. I'm sure it's a different circumstance for all people.

It might be, Tiff, that being gay comes from socialization. That could be a really big influence. That could be the "your decision" part. From socialization, you decide to yourself that relationships with the opposite sex might be much easier.

I can't seem to find the thread that jacobsf had created. Do you happen to remember the title?

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:15am

Interesting answer.

Here's mine:
I consider myself homosexual because I have a complete and unmittigated attraction to the same sex sexually. I certainly was not taught this - if anything, I was SERIOUSLY led in the opposite direction. It has always been this way for as long as I have been conscious of my sexual nature.

I certainly don't consider it a 'priveledge', and the only 'right' I feel owed is the 'right' to exist as I am - period.

And I wouldn't know if the sex was 'better' than with a female, as the thought of having sex with a female has never, doesn't and will never occur to me.

And ironically, not only do I like the opposite sex as human beings, I actually like VERY few men, except for sexually. And I mean VERY few - pretty much to the point of disdain.

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:17am

From socialization though, do you think that some people repress their homosexual feelings because it's easier to get through like being straight, or do you think that socialization actually convinces a person that they are purely heterosexual?

I don't remember the name of the thread that jacobsf started - try putting his name into the OT search, and have the end day as December 1, 2004, because I'm pretty sure it was before then.

[cturtle]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:17am

i firmly believe i was born gay. i fought it until i was 40 years old, so there's no way i chose it. and there are other facets beside sexual attraction. if you want to chat, i'll be in the chat room for a while ...

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 4:19am

Well, now that I've read some answers, Tiff, I'm starting to believe that homosexuality is simply sort of a force that you can't stop. I'm really tired, and I have to play stupid Gerswhin tomorrow morning, so I'll...continue this tomorrow. I really can't think with all these damn birds chirping. Usually they start at 4, but I guess they just really wanted to piss me off this morning.

ETA before I turn-in: If anyone would rather PM me with their responses rather than post on this thread, feel free to do that too. Oh, my god. I can't put up with this. Good night BWW.

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 04:19 AM

[popcultureboy]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 5:35am

'm starting to believe that homosexuality is simply sort of a force that you can't stop

What the phoo is that supposed to mean?

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 6:09am

As MusicMan said, sexual preference is not a choice. Sexual activity is.

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?page=2&thread=458152&startthread=458265&boardname=off


I don't know what I'm trying to say really...but I have some big plans, and I don't really want to make any life-changing decisions unless I know all the facts. Being unexperienced, I don't really want to think about all these ideas unless I have some big picture of the whole thing. I'm hardly a person you could call very "savvy" on sexual orientation...but I'm really willing to learn. And I've got a few accounts, but it'd be a lot more reliable if I had more than one to base off my ideas off of.

I also read Jacob's thread...there were some interesting notions up in there, I particularly connected well with Plum's post on Nature VS Nurture. Hang on...my mind is still in the middle of starting up.

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 06:09 AM

[baddadnpa]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 8:51am

I am because I was born that way. Case closed.

Posted: 6/27/05 at 8:57am

Aigoo - I'm not really understanding here. You make it sound like you're getting ready to take a test! I'm not sure it's really all that complicated. You just pay attention to what is turning you on and go from there.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:45am

No no no...I'm not asking you to classify my sexual orientation. I'm just..curious. Whether it's something that you choose, something that you can be convinced out of, something you can persuade others into...I'm quite comfortable about my intimate relationships right now, DGrant, as there are none...

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:59am

Being a homosexual or a bisexual or a heterosexual is not something that you can choose or be convinced out of. You either are or aren't.

[WithoutATrace]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:06am

Aigoo: I was born gay. It is definitely not a choice that one makes. Ever since I can remember, I have always been attracted to men...it's just the way it is...and I am proud of it!

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:07am

That's really what I wanted to know...I just..wanted to learn more, I guess.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:08am

I agree with Withoutatrace

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:09am

Sometimes you have to follow what your heart says and completely throw out what your mind says.
It's difficult, but I hope I can speak for homosexuals when I say that once you do, it's freeing. Maybe not at first, but it gets better and better.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:10am

Aigoo,
C'mon into the bww chat room let's talk about it


https://www.broadwayworld.com/cfchat/index.cfm

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 10:10 AM

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:26am

DGrant, you are my twin seperated at birth. You took the words right out of my mouth.......except that I have had sex with 2 women many, many years ago, and I have to say with one it was terrific.

But I have to say, I agree with cturtle, in that I feel I was born gay. I knew when I was extremely young that I was attracted to men, although I doubt I knew what that meant at the time. I mean when you are 8 years old, and chasing a stud friend of your brothers around the house with a camera, you figure something is up.

My closest friends have always been women, and now that I think about it it may be because women (usually) are very open about their thoughts and feelings, where (most) straight men are not. And I have found that (most) gay men are only concerned with sex, sex, and more sex, and there is so much more to life than that.
The person I call my best male friend lives in Phoenix, and we see him maybe twice a year, and whenever we do, he acts like it's still 1985 and we're still both single and living in Chicago...(hence all he wants to talk about is sex that he is having with other people, and the old sex days).....it really ticks me off as I am not the same person I was 21 years ago (nor is he) and I'd really like an adult relationship with him.

So, to make a long story short, DGrant...I can totally relate to what you are saying.

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 10:26 AM

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:33am

I have never been sexually attracted to women my entire life. It's no more a choice than the color of my skin or my natural grey eyes. Those who believe it is a choice want a reason to justify bigotry simply because homosexuality is not an external physical trait, so they believe it has to be a psychological choice. They fear what they refuse to understand and classify it as evil rather than educate themselves.

I hate chat rooms. You have to sit and watch every line to keep up with a topic. On the boards you can come and go as you wish and keep up with a topic. Much easier.

[Ann_Margrock]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 10:50am

I think Aigoo was coming from an honest place when she started this thread. I don't get why some posters got defensive and responded that way. Not cool.

Aigoo,I can only speak for myself but I truly believe I was just born this way. It was always there. Whether I chose to acknowledge it or not at different stages of my life is another story. But I can honestly say that right now I embrace my homosexuality whole heartedly.


Updated On: 6/27/05 at 10:50 AM

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:04am

Some people are more open minded when it comes to trying out new sexual areas. Just because you are being pressured to have sex with a woman and you are actually thinking about it (which is what I am gathering is your situation, if I may read between the lines) does not make you a lesbian or even Bi. Many people explore sex with someone of the same gender only to discover it just isn't right for them; just as many gay people give the old gal a whirl just to see what all the fuss is about.
If you are gay, deep down you know it. You feel that indescribable attraction for "her", and even though you may get married and have kids, you still think about "her".
So if your are up for it, and it won't mess with your mind too much, go for it. You will know if that is the way you want to go.

A friend of mine was asked "How do you know if your not straight if you have never slept with a woman?" To which he replied to his straight male friend, "Well, how do you know you are not gay if you never sucked a dick?"

If you do give your girl a try, remember these words of wisdom passed down from Lesbian generation to Lesbian Generation...
"Two in the Pink...One in the Stink!"

Let us know how you like your "debate."