For those that are homosexual...- Page 2

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:06am

So from what I've gathered...it's instinct? Or..."unhelpable" desire?

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:13am

"Unhelpable?" Do you mean can it be CURED? Now you are crossing the line into offensiveness. You are implying there is something wrong with it and anyone who is a Homosexual needs help. That is offensive. There are so many books out there that can help you come to terms with your sexuality. Please get one and read it.

[Millie42]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:17am

Sueleen, I think she means it like the expression "You can't help but..." She's not saying gay people need to seek help!

No need to get defensive...from what I have gathered she is young, open-minded and genuinely just trying to figure things out.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:19am

Well, if that is what she means then I am sorry.

[MrMidwest]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:23am

Unchangeable would be a better word than unhelpable.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:43am

I think it is very much instinct. Sexual attraction is something that occurs naturally. I don't think it is possible to force yourself to be sexually attracted to someone. You can force yourself to have sex with someone and maybe enjoy it, but you may or may not be naturally attrated to them. When you are young, it is quite confusing because you can easily confuse admiration or non-sexual affection with sexual attraction. Realization occurs at different times for different people depending on their level of denial or acceptance which is usually based on an individual's personality and socialization (family, school, religion, etc).

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 11:46am

Ok... jumping in. For me, it's who I am. It's whom I've been since I remember. I have vivid recollections of having crushes on boys since I have memory. I recall one time, I'm not kidding, when I was quite young, about 5 or 6, and I was with my uncle going to the pool. As we passed a park, I saw a very handsome guy and I made a coment about the handsome guy. My uncle turned to me and screamed that men never found other men handsome. It puzzled me 'cause girls could say other girls were pretty... so I knew from then on to keep it to myself. But I was never, ever, attracted to girls. Technically, I'm still a virgin.

I do wonder if it's genetic in some ways myself. In my family (mother's side) there seems to be at least one gay person per generation. Gay aunt, me, gay cousin, gay second cousing... I think future gay nephew.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 12:49pm

Sorry, I didn't think that "unhelpable" was a very good word choice, either. Unchangeable is not what I'm looking for. I was more leaning to...you-just-can't-help-but-do-it thing...Like instinct is. It's sort of a natural reaction...?


I also want to clear things up. I'm not being pressured to have sex with anyone. I'm perfectly comfortable with my sexual orientation at the moment, and this is just something I want to clear up for my own personal knowledge. I used to think that becoming gay was sort of like a belief...that same sex relationships would fare much better than opposite sex relationships. But now I know that it's more just a natural happening.

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 12:49 PM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 12:59pm

Daydreamer...i have the same type of memories

I remember being in awe of cute movie stars as young as 5 or 6. I also watched football with my dad and looked at the hot guys...:) Regardless, I used to try to change because I wasn't accepted but after about 7 years I finally accepted who I was and if people don't accept me for who I am then they don't really love me.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 1:09pm

I was born this way

[MrMidwest]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 1:15pm

"Sorry, I didn't think that "unhelpable" was a very good word choice, either. Unchangeable is not what I'm looking for. I was more leaning to...you-just-can't-help-but-do-it thing...Like instinct is. It's sort of a natural reaction...?"

Are you talking about sexual desires or sexuality? I can't imagine how getting aroused would be any different whether you're straight or gay.

Your sexuality is a lot more than just getting hot over someone, think about how being heterosexual has affected your life and the choices you've made. Sexuality isn't everything a person is, but it does make up a lot of who someone is.

[Mythus]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 1:16pm

Someone asked me this yesterday. I was very offended by it, considering that they're not comfortable with me being gay and all that. They were very blunt, too, and when I told them my girlfriend left me they were surprised that they felt sorry for me.

Anyway. When they asked me, I responded, "Why is Whoopi Goldberg black?" She was born that way. I was born this way. I didn't choose to be it. If it hadn't have been for my ex, it probably would've taken me a long time to figure it out. But suddenly, all those years of thinking the girls on Pokemon were really cute made sense. And if I ever get the tiniest twinge of worry or doubt, I imagine what it would be like to wake up next to my Princess Charming, and this amazing, comforting warmth spreads through my body. So that's why I am, and that's how I know.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 1:23pm

I've got what I really needed. But feel free to elaborate on your statements. Like I said, I just want to learn as much as possible...I know it sounds skeptical. God, I'm treating this like a class or something.

I just...don't want to make the wrong assumptions in the future, is all.

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 1:26pm

I was born this way also. I have often wondered why and wished I hadn't been. But then I realized that being gay is natural to me. If I tried to be something that I know I am not, then I would be miserable. And I would not pretend to be something or someone I am not to please others.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:22pm

I've got what I really needed. But feel free to elaborate on your statements. Like I said, I just want to learn as much as possible...

This statment is contradictory. If you had all you needed you wouldn't have anything else to learn on the subject. It was nice of you to use us homos to "get what you needed" then dismiss us with a "that'll be all, but you can still talk amongst yourselves" wave of your sexually confused hand.
I don't know how old you are or where you live, but you must learn to treat Gay people with more respect. Your "I am soooo curious what is it you people actually DO?" attitude is insulting. If you want to eat out your gal pal, go for it, if you like it maybe you will discover you are gay, but you are coming across as an annoying little twit.

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:23pm

"...This is a completely serious topic, and I really will not tolerate any joking responses."


Ooh. Get her.

[Mythus]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:35pm

Thank you, Sueleen.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:41pm

You are welcome. This "Oh, Gay people are sooooo fascinating" attitude has got to stop. I don't begrudge people who are having serious questions about their sexuality looking for a little guidance, but this whole "Gimme ammo for a good debate" or some one "DARED" me to come out on this board really pisses me off and I will call anyone on their bull****.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:44pm

Yeah, I said it sounded like a classroom. I really didn't mean for it to sound like that...I'm not sexually confused, it's just that when i talk about this subject, I don't want to say something I'll regret. Obviously, it's too late for that. -___-; I know that everything I say now is just going to seem annoying to you, or some kind of plead, and I didn't mean to sound like I was dismissing the subject. I would still read the thread, but I wouldn't contribute much more to the discussion because I feel that I'm not in the right place to speak about this just yet. Ugh, this is what I was trying to AVOID in the first place...I don't mean to disrespect gays in any way.

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:45pm

I haven't read others' posts here so I may repeat what some have said - but first, I am absolutely positive that homosexuality is hereditary. My father was gay and so am I. I know lots of people who are gay and have gay brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. It's in the genes. I came out when I was 15 to family and friends and everyone was cool with it - no one had a negative thing to say about my being gay. I never had to live a life in the closet or pretend to date/like girls - never. I have always been with men and cannot imagine my life any other way. As for the pride issue - I, personally, think that gay pride is pure crap. I'm proud of the human being that I turned out to be - but that has nothing to do with sexuality. I'm glad that there are gays out there who have the wherewithall to "fight the good fight" for equal rights - but I've seen more gays demand equal rights and to be treated the same as everyone else in one moment, then turn around the next and scream about how it is our individuality that makes us special. Make up your minds - you either want to be an in-your-face flamboyant drag queen, or an accountant who blends in with the wood work - OK - but you can't have it both ways. Obviously this issue irks me. I'm not a flag waver and I never will be - people can probably tell the moment they set eyes on me that I'm a homosexual and I'm fine with that - if they don't know and decide to ask, I'll gladly tell them. But I don't feel the need to push it in people's faces. I'm happy with who I am. I'm in a great relationship and I love my friends and family. That, to me, is what life is all about.

[Aigoo]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:49pm

And this isn't really for a debate either. I'd rather keep the cause for all this private. I don't know if users had misunderstood my posts, or my insomnia somehow got the better of my sanity, but I've just had a sort of crazy weekend. Not crazy, but...impacting, we'll say.

And I would never treat other humans that way, Sueleen. I might say someone's fascinating, sure...but if I really came off with a "Oo! Gay! Let's go pet it!" attitude, I really apologize. In no way did I intend for it to come off that way.

And this isn't a "coming out" thread. Far from it. I feel that I'm much too young in order to make a decision like that thus far. But again, I really do apologize, and I know "saying sorry" really won't help me at this point, but it's better than nothing (and I'd probably come off as a more snobbish arrogant bitch than I already seem if I didn't say anything).

Updated On: 6/27/05 at 02:49 PM

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:51pm

I didn't read Tinny's post so if I repeat him, forgive me, because mine is the only response that I really care about.
Anyhoo, Aigoo, go back and substitute Asian for gay in every post on this thread. Change the sexual preferences to different races and the acts to, oh, I don't know, Asian Foods or Asian Customs. Maybe you will begin to see how this can come across as offensive.

[MrMidwest]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:54pm

I think I understand where you were coming from with this topic, Aigoo. You didn't understand something totally and you asked about it, that's good, but the wording of things can come off wrong sometimes if people aren't careful. Eventually I'm sure you'll find that homosexuality is really not that complicated. It's the world that makes it complicated for those who are homosexual.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 2:59pm

Thanks for your response, Aigoo. And yes, I did read it. I am sure you didn't mean it to come across as it did and I believe you when you say so. Next time try to put yourself in the other person's skin, okay? Live and learn. I am glad you were able to at least see the other side of things.

[Kringas]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 3:00pm

Eventually I'm sure you'll find that homosexuality is really not that complicated. It's the world that makes it complicated for those who are homosexual

Very well put, Mr Midwest.