Friends quotes- Page 3

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:02pm

They really have the best Thanksgiving episodes

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:20pm

right after emma is born and they are all trying to decide on a name for her:
monica: "oh dont worry, youll find a name"
ross: "well thats easy for you to say. you already know what your kids names are gonna be"
chandler: "you do?"
monica: "yeah, ive had them picked out since i was 14"
chandler: "theyre gonna be named after some snack or baked good, arent they!?"

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:56pm

I just sat here and read all those quotes and I'm grinning like an idiot! Just reading these makes me laugh out loud. Great thread

My favorite episode besides the embryo one is the one where no one's ready

Joey: Alright--they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: Yep, it's fat! I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah, I know. I did that two minutes ago

Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat?

Chandler: Alright, fine! You know what? We'll both sit in the chair.
Joey: Fine with me.
Chandler: I'm sooo comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.

Chandler: What are you doing?
Joey: Well, you said I had to give you the chair. You didn't say anything about the cushions.
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.

Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Because, um, I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: It's a rented tux, Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.

Phoebe: Rachel didn't have anything that I liked, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, alright, fine, I'll be political.
Chandler: What are you supporting?
Phoebe: Duh! Christmas!

Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is: You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Joey: Look at me--I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!

these aren't from that same epsiode but still funny

Ross: You don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Too easy? Too.... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is... is too easy?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Ross: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, don't get me started on gravity.
Ross: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
[There's a knock at the door]
Chandler: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.

Phoebe: In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Smoked a joint. You know, lit a bone. Weed. Hemp. Ganja.
Rachel: Okay, okay. I'm with you, Cheech.

Ross: Phoebe used to mug people!
Monica: Seriously?
Phoebe: Well, I'm not proud of it. But, you know, sometimes, when I was living on the street, and I need money for food and stuff...
Monica: Phoebe, that is awful!
Phoebe: Well, I wasn't rich like you guys! I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony! I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.
Monica: Your mother killer herself!
Phoebe: She was a drug dealer!

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 8:32pm

hahaha, i LOVE the mugging episode!

[DivaBrigader]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 10:28pm

Y'all listed a lot of my favorites so here are some more:

Chandler - Your dad bought you a boat?
Rachel - He had to! My pony was sick!

**

Monica - I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Chandler- I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!
Monica - Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah!
Chandler - Well, maybe it was all of your questions.
Monica - What about my questions?
Chandler - The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
Monica - Oh, I’m sorry. Was that another joke?
Chandler - Was that another question?

**

Phoebe - That's the pervert's motto. They make you raise your right hand, stick your left hand down your pants, and say that!

**

Rachel - [reading her birthday card from Mondler] - Happy birthday, Grandma! It's better to be over the hill, than buried under it. Hahahahahaha, that's funny. [She starts to cry.]
Monica - All you had to do was buy the card!

**

Ross - Lift...and slide!

**

Rachel - I thought...if I could bring you here...I could seduth you...

**

[Ross and Rachel are making out on the floor of the planetarium. Rachel suddenly gets damp.]

Rachel - Oh, honey, it's OK...
Ross - What? No...you just rolled on the juice box.
Rachel - THANK GOD!

**

Phoebe - [clearing throat] OK, I want to do this correctly. Hey, Ross. Three o'clock. Totally hot babe checkin' you out. Ha. I think I'm ready for my penis!

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 10:32pm

"[Ross and Rachel are making out on the floor of the planetarium. Rachel suddenly gets damp.]

Rachel - Oh, honey, it's OK...
Ross - What? No...you just rolled on the juice box.
Rachel - THANK GOD!"


that quote took me FOREVER to get. the first time i saw it, all of a sudden rachel said "thats ok" and im like "....huh?" then one day i got it, haha.



from the one where chandler cant cry. they watching ET
phoebe: "you know whats sadder than this? bambi. i cired for 3 days with that movie - no wait, 2. b/c on the 3rd day my mother killed herself so i was partly crying for that"
chandler: "now, that i can see crying over, but bambi is a cartoon"
joey: "you didnt cry when bambis mother died?"
chandler: "yes its very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer"

[almostxfamous]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:23pm

The One Where Ross Gets a Tan:
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?

Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.

Assistant: Wow, you catch on quick.

Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so...
(Assistant walks out)

(Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)

Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)

Ross: You sprayed my front twice!

Assistant: You've never turned?

Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.

Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!

Ross: Mississippilessly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?

Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.

Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?

Assistant: You got sprayed with two two' s and...

Ross: I'm a four?

Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.

Ross: (sarcastically) Really!

Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.

Ross: (annoyed) Ok!

(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)

Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!

Assistant: You got two more twos?

Ross: (hysterically) I'm an eight!

And an old episode I don't remember, I think it's the one where they play poker.

Rachel: Guess what?
Chandler: The fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?


LOVEEE IT.

[LorelaiGilmore]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:53pm

i could name so... many(i own the whole series of friends after all) but my favorites have been taken(the thanksgiving comfessions, the monica qoute that ends in living with a box, anything from my favorite episode, the one with rachel's other sister)but my ABSOLUTE favorite still hasn't been said

Rachel on the phone with her dad-It's like all my life, everyone's told me, "you're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe" then one day i just stopped and said, what if i don't want to be a shoe, what if i want to be a purse, or a hat [pause]no i don't want you to buy me a purse, i'm saying i am a[pause]IT'S A METAPHOR DADDY!

i love that, it might not be perfectly correct, but it's close enough

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 12:28am

Dre I know...and the way they say it...rachel calmly flipping through the book and Phoebe screaming it out...

Even Mrs. Gellar's response after that was funny I don't remember exactly but something like...Rachel, no you weren't supposed to put beef in the truffle and it was not good(something like that?), Joey if you want to leave, just leave...Phoebe, I'm sorry I believe Jack Custo is dead...Monica, you didn't think you could trust us to tell us that you and Chandler are living together? Then they scold Ross about the pot/playboys and then I think Jack ends it by saying...and we already knew about the porch swing.

The juice box...rotfl, I watched that episode w/ my family and asked my mom what Rachel thought Ross did when she said "that's ok..." for a while I believed as my mom told me that she thought he peed on her (Don't remember exactly when I realized that wasn't the case, but I did eventually realize).

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 12:35am

almost famous, I just watched that epsiode and I was laughing so hard like I always do, it never gets old

who could forget:
PIVOT!!! PIVOT!!!

edit: i'm not sure how to spell pivot/pivet but I'll spell it the way Yankee did

Updated On: 12/31/05 at 12:35 AM

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 12:36am

ross: "PIVOT, PIVOT, PIVOT!"
chandler: "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUP!"

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 12:42am

Just thought of another one I loved...

When Phoebe's summarizing what happened in season 1's finale before the premiere episode of season 2, after summarizing she says...anyway, enough about us. So how've you been?"

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 1:27am

HAHAHAA I didn't want to list "Liiiiift!! .....Aaaand SLIIIIIDE!!!!" cuz I didn't think anybody would get it. "PIVOTTTT!!!" is another awesome one. Oh Ross.

How 'bout "Morrre Turrrkey Meester Chandlerrrr??" *waggles eyebrows*

Joey: I'm tired of all the secrets!! I got your secrets, I got their secrets, I got secrets of my own y'know!!?!
Rachel: You don't have any secrets.
Joey: Oh yeah?? I bet you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal! *scaredface*

Ross: Unagi!
...
Rachel: Ahh...salmon skin roll!

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 1:29am

phoebe: "ahh, they dont know that we know they know we know! and joey, you cant say anything!"
joey: *confused look* "couldnt if i wanted to!"

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 1:39am

continuing yankee's ep -

Monica: Oh no way, Phoebe's gonna break way before you!
Chandler: How--how do you know??!
Monica: Because you're on my team, and my team ALWAYS WINS!
Chandler: At THIS?!??!

Chandler: *walks into the bathroom* ...Did you clean up in here?!

IForgetWho (Yeti/Danny maybe?): Did you have any brothers?
Rachel: Nono I have two sisters -- but one of them has a very masculine energy...

Monica: Hey Joey, what's another word for red?
Joey: ....*snaps* Dark red!

Mr. Waltham: My niece is coming from London (well, Shropshire really, but you know!) Anyway, I have two tickets to the opera -- Die Fledermaus! I think you'll enjoy it -- it has two out of the three tenors!
Rachel: Right. Me. Flighter Mouse. Got it.
(I paraphrased, I know)

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 1:44am

Ross: And another machine for your delicates, which would include your bras..and...your..umm....under....panty...things.

(same episode)

Phoebe [After seeing how Rachel's white clothes are all dyed from her red sock]: Oh! What a neat idea! Now all your clothes match! I'm going to do this now!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 1:45am

hahahaa the laundry thing -- UBERWEISS!!


and also --
Ross: It tastes like FEET!

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 4:03am

Updated On: 12/31/05 at 04:03 AM

[gumbo2]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 4:47am

Joey: Ross, isn't that how tailors do pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is...in PRISON.

[Jon]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 11:01am

Phoebe: Now, don't get all testosterone-y.
Chandler: Testosteroni - the REAL San Francisco treat!

Ross: It's a really good sandwich. She puts a slice of bread soaked in gravy in the middle - I call it "The Moistmaker".

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 12:32pm

Ross: You--you threw. My sandwich. Away. MY SANDWICH!?!??!?! MYYYYY SAANDWIIIIIIICHH!!!!!! *pigeons scatter*
Updated On: 12/31/05 at 12:32 PM

[almostxfamous]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 12:40pm

Uh, just one line.

"I WANNA QUIT THE GYM."

The end.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 3:56pm

when monica, chandler and joey are telling the jellyfish story:
joey: "well i had seen this thing on the discovery channel-"
ross: "oh, yeah i saw that. about jellyfish and how youre supposed to- [turning to Monica] EEEW! you peed on yourself!"
all: "ew"
monica: "you cant say that! you dont know! i thought i was gonna pass out from the pain. anyway, i tried...but i couldnt..bend that way. so [turns to joey]
all: "ew!"
joey: "thats right, i stepped up! shes my friend and she needed help. and if i had to, id pee on any one of you! only- i couldnt. i got the stage fright. so chandler-
chandler: *shrieks* joey kept screaming "do it now, do it now!" sometimes late at night i can still here the screaming!"
joey: *laughing* "thats b/c sometimes i do it through my wall just to freak you out"

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 1/1/06 at 1:16am

joey: "look, im getting new headshots done so i went to get my eyebrows shaped-"
chandler: "im sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!"
joey: "i may be a sissy but i can still pound you into the ground. look, it hurt so bad i could only let her do 1 eyebrow and now-they dont match!"
chandler: "its like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!"

chandler: "you know how most kids earn their allowance by mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage? well i earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his 'business partners'"
joey: haha, oh my god!"
chandler: "well, i guess you dont need my help victor-victoria"

Updated On: 1/1/06 at 01:16 AM

[opiv]

Posted: 1/1/06 at 1:30am

Uh, just one line.

"I WANNA QUIT THE GYM."

"dont you want washboard abs and rock hard pecks?"
"NO, i want a flabby guy and saggy man breast!!!"

ahh i love this show