Fun and Safe Gay Bars?

Hey all! Recently broke up with my bf and was looking for a fun night out in the city. However, my one experience with a gay bar was not a pleasant one.

It was in midtown, id say 10 blocks or so west of time square, I honestly can't remember the name nor do I want to. Anyways, what a terrible experience. Ive heard sexual suppression amongst Gay men is a major thing (believe me I know) but I'm not sure if I just picked the wrong bar... or if this is what I should expect at most gay bars with younger men. I went in, grabbed a drink, headed to the floor. Little did I know two men who I presume were a couple, come over, start tugging at my pants, lifting up my shirt almost all the way, telling me to "have some fun with us" and they just wouldn't let go even after I told them politely to stop. It wasn't a fun way either, it seemed to me to be very aggressive stripping. Later on the dance floor, (should've left by now) men constantly grabbing my ass, groping my ass, grabbing my balls, unannounced. Idk, this may sound fun for others but it gave off a rapey vibe and not a fun and sexy vibe.

I don't mean to sound ignorant, but should I expect this kind of behavior at a lot of gay bars? I was really looking for a fun out, and just didn't get what I hoped for obviously. I assume the answer here is no, but some more safe bars would be nice to hear about, or if others have had similar situations to this one.

Sounds an awful lot like the Ritz. And no, not all gay bars are like that. Not even close. There are ABSOLUTELY some that are like that but gay bars, like anything, run the gamut and there are absolutely bars where you don't get treated like that.

To be fair, some of that also depends on when you go. There are places where that would not at all happen to you at happy hour any day of the week, but show up on a Friday or Saturday night when the party is raging and that same pace is far trashier.



I worked a one off event at a gay bar that I don't frequent as a customer and had never been hired at previously, and let me tell you, I was clutching my pearl because the places I work don't readily have that behavior and it was not a place like (insert a few choice names here) where you readily 'joke' about certain things happening.

Sounds like Posh. You didn't mention the ages of the couple, but if I read between the lines, they were older? Keep in mind, that kind of behavior can come from young, drunk, messes also. (I made the mistake of going to Posh on Halloween after 11:00 and crowded and the same thing happened to me. In this case the culprits were younger and drunk and I am far from young). Your safer bet is, as Broadwayguy2 stated is to go to happy hour, before the patrons, get drunk. But happy hour is not a 100% guarantee.

broadwayguy2 said: "Ninth Ave Saloon is generally pretty laid back. Therapy is usually a safe bet.

Happy hour is Posh, Ritz, Industry, et al are usually fine but they can turn to trash on a dime.

Hardware is usually pretty middle of the road, but happy hours are always a good time.

There are two dozen in Hell's Kitchen alone, but a whole world to explore if you want to venture out of their neighborhood or enjoy a quick jaunt to Astoria or Brooklyn, which have some wonderful and welcoming neighborhood gay bars."

Im staying in Bushwick this weekend actually, so thats not a terrible idea!!! Does not have to be midtown, thats just normally where I choose to go out sometimes.



The couple was a little older, like early 30s maybe. Im 21 so I probably looked nice to them. Just want a bar where I won't be forcibly stripped upon arrival lol