He had to "choose between betrayal of of his friends and his need to stop his friends' drug and prostitution businesses"? What the hell does that mean? That stupid sentence actually backfires on you and ends up meaning the opposite of what you intended it to.
What you apparently MEANT to say was: "...choose between supporting his friends and stopping their drug and prostitution businesses."
Which begs the question: Why would he have to stop his friends' drug and prostitution businesses? I have plenty of friends who are drug-dealing prostitutes. Well, prostitutes, at any rate. That's their business.
Your novel may indeed be good but no one will ever know, because your description of the novel stinks.
Updated On: 9/29/13 at 12:25 AM