Help me ruin Christmas again

#1

Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 5:43pm

I have a mess of nieces and nephews- many of whom are now of breeding age and have dropped pups of their own. So this Christmas, there will be a slough of young'uns from 40 to about a month old. Last year, I was the BEST Uncle ever (again) because I brought each "child" (anyone younger than I) a screaming slingshot monkey- a small stuffed animal that could be shot lot a slingshot over great distances and when you shot it, it screamed. Loudly. Needless to say, a couple dozen kids shooting screaming slingshot monkeys at each other made it a holiday no one will ever forget.

So the speculation has already begun: What will uncle Joe bring THIS year. And I have no idea. So I turn to this board, full of devious minds. Can you help me ruin Christmas again?
The Screaming Slingshot Monkey

#2

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:02pm

drum sets.

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#3

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:05pm

Paintball guns (as long as it's not at your house)
Energy Drinks
Megaphone
Blowhorn

#4

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:10pm

Jane, this sort of thing is a bit of a family tradition, started almost 50 years ago, when my childless uncle John and Auntie Lu brought musical instruments for each of the nieces and nephews- drums, horns, harmonicas, maracas. My father (John's brother) had six kids at the time. I was too young to recall it, but my older sister says it was the first time she heard our dad swear.

#5

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:14pm

Get your hands on a ton of light up frisbees that make noise. That should do the trick. We sold those at camp one year.

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#6

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:16pm

Just thought of a few more

Karaoke Machine
Klackers (or anything like that)
Trombone

Anything that makes noise, basically.

#7

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:18pm

Any type of talking Elmo toy.


Or boxing gloves!

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"This show had the WORST magnets on Broadway!"

Updated On: 12/16/08 at 06:18 PM

#8

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:20pm

Funny, MY uncle gave my brother and I those monkey puppets last year. I loved mine, until my dad threw it out of the car window.

A few years ago, I would have said a Furby. I used to have one, and my parents hated it so much that my dad cried with joy when it broke. How about those singing fish, or, even better, one of those loud squawking chicken toys: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1794722

Or give them the Wicked cast recording and copies of Twilight.

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In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy

#9

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:23pm

Schmerg my two great-nieces sang several selections from Wicked at my Nephew's birthday party this summer. I like the frisbee idea! I'm going to look for those. But keep em coming!

Updated On: 12/16/08 at 06:23 PM

#10

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:24pm

You can buy these from amazon and other places. They talked about it on the radio this morning on my way to work and I wanted to scream/laugh. There aren't really words to describe it...
The Screaming Chicken

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"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.

#11

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:27pm

Kel, we seem to have had the same idea about those freakish chicken toys!

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In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy

#12

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:28pm

The frisbees are like $15 a piece- I can't do that. The Chickens are a possibility; one place has them for $4.50- if I can get them in time that might work. I have about 20 kids to buy for so I really want to keep it under $5 each.

#13

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:29pm

Schermg, those things are insane! They are really funny/freaky. I would die if someone bought one for Brian...

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"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.

#14

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:29pm

Give one candybar to one kid only and not the others. That'll start a commotion.

But that's kinda mean.

Whistles
A CD of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (With that annoying as hell Willy Wonka song)
A little laughbox thing

#15

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:31pm

ooooo...Whistles are a great idea! I would kill someone if they gave that to my kids!

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"This show had the WORST magnets on Broadway!"

#16

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:47pm

I once bought my two young nieces this gag gift called Angel Snot, which was a variation on Slime and appealed to them while they were in the "Ewwwwwww boogers!" stage. Within five minutes the youngest chucked the glop at the oldest's hair, where it got completely entangled and had to be cut out. You could see the missing chunk FOR YEARS. That was a memorable Xmas still talked about.

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#17

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:50pm

Bring some of the idiots who post here... Everyone will run screaming from the house!

Seriously, this thread is making me laugh!

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"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."

#18

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 6:55pm

The chickens would be great!

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KFTC!!!!!

#19

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 9:16pm

Slide whistles or recorders. The musical ones can figure out tunes and make everyone else listen to them play and the non-musical ones can just make annoying whistle noises.....

#20

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 9:25pm

there's a place in Portsmouth, NH called Macro Polo
http://macropolo.com/

and they had the most real-to-life dog poop for like $3. I bought one, and it freaks everyone out when they see it as it looks so real. I can only imagine 20 kids running around placing them and freaking everyone out.....no n oise from the poop, but the noise from all others would be amazing, lol

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#21

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 9:31pm

This thread is amazing.

I was going to suggest something along the
- fingerpaints
- temporary tattoos
- squirt guns
"messy" variety, but thanks to this thread I just discovered that Amazon actually has a 'noisemaker' subcategory in toys, and now I think something called Pooze, which is a cup of some kind of (slime?) that makes fart noises, is my new favorite idea...
amazon.com- noisemakers

#22

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 9:33pm

Here it is...the $5.50 Gift that sure to drive the family oldsters crazy in no time. It's probably not as much fun as a "Screaming Monkey" but just imagine 20 kids...with harmonicas and one HOW TO DVD playing in the family room.





Easily ordered online from AMAZON at:

http://www.amazon.com/Hohner-Blues-Band-10-Hole-Key/dp/B000PEHWWU/ref=cm_lmf_tit_4/184-0874760-1565228

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#23

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 10:00pm

Joe, are you a writer? I'll bet you're a writer.

#24

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 11:05pm

Just bring yourself, Joe.

That oughta ruin anyone's Christmas.

xoxox,

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#25

re: Help me ruin Christmas again

Posted: 12/16/08 at 11:32pm

I highly reccomend these. http://www.flashingblinkylights.com/lightupbouncysonicballswithsound-p-1830.html Get all the kids in one room turn the lights off and have them toss the bouncy balls all at once. I promise you they will be enthralled. I also promise they will leave the parents worrrying about breakables as the kids go crazy with them the rest of the night.

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Updated On: 12/16/08 at 11:32 PM