"How are you doin'?" - a rant!

[Jon]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 9:48am

I'm all for common courtesy, but it's gotten to the point where it's slowing down the efficient functioning of life. To explain:

At work, I typically answer the phone in the following manner:

"Illinois Theatre Center - how can I help you?"

Now, a correct response would be something like "I'd like to purchase tickets..." or "Can you tell me how long the current show runs?" or "Can I speak to the manager?" or something like that.

There is NO WAY that the correct reponse to "How can I help you?" is "How are you today?", or even just "How you doin'?"

Now I have to stop and decide if I want to ignore the question, just say, "Fine, thank you", or actually tell them how I am doing - which is usualy NOT "fine".

Why would someone call up a business where they don't know who is answering the phone, and attempt to engage them in idle chatter? Do they think they will get better service because they were nice enough to ask the person at the other end how they were doing?

This is happening more and more lately - and it goes two ways - now we have service employees asking me how I'm doing instead of just doing their jobs!

There seems to be a new policy at the local Taco Bell. You pull up to the drive-through speaker and they don't say "Welcome to Taco Bell" or "How can I help you?" or "May I take your order?" or even the rather lifeless "State your order when ready". Nope, you just hear some 16-year-old kid mumble "How ya doin'?" Do they expect an answer? I won't play that game. My answer to "How ya' doin'?" is "Number One Combo with Pepsi".

Am I right or am I just a crank? I feel a little like Seinfeld when he declared a moratorium on kissing every woman in his apartment building "hello" whenever he saw them.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 10:12am

I can't stand when I answer the phone at work and the person says, "Hi." or, "Hello." Then waits for ME...and if I don't respond immediately (and I already ANSWERED THE PHONE, it's now on YOU to tell me why you're calling me!), they then say, "Hello???" like you're neglecting them or something.

[robbiej]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 10:20am

There was a study not too long ago that suggested if a person placing a call to a call center (for help or information) humanizes the worker on the other end of the line by asking a question such as 'How are you?', the level of service was generally higher.

[bongoboy]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 10:20am

i think crank is too strong a word to describe your reaction, but i do think you are being too sensitive. think about it from the caller/customers perspective. he/she may be busy at work or expecting voice mail and may be genuinuely surprised to get a real person/voice on the line. or they may be asking out of habit or becuase they are generally interested in 'how you are' . to ask 'how are you' or 'how you doin' is just an attempt at polite conversation. this gives you, the employee the chance to engage them politely and and your positive response will reflect well on you and the company you work for.

[Jon]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 10:34am

Sometimes I think the caller is stalling for time - like they have realized theu can't quite remember why they called. I've gotten used to my "How can I help you?" being answered with "I... uhh... I'm calling because.... ummm...I wanted to know... uhhh... can I order .... you know... uhhh... tickets... to your... ummm.... whaddayacallit..."

[Patronus]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 10:41am

My job also requires me to answer incoming calls from clients and everyday I get a new lesson in just how stupid people are.

If this is a onetime isolated incident for you then I think you might be overreacting a bit, but my guess is that it's a build up of ignorance and you are entitled to vent.

[liotte]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 10:51am

More than people asking How are you?, I hate the people who tell you how to feel. The worst is when I am walking down the street and someone I don't know tells me to smile or have a good day. Now, I know some are just being friendly, but who the hell are you to tell me how to feel???

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 11:17am

I get this every day, too. It IS irritating and I get it most often from cold-calling salespoeple who are trying to establish a "relationship" so I'll buy something. When they say "How are you today?" I want to reply, "What the hell do you care?"

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 11:19am

Awww, Moony, I love you more with each passing day!

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 11:48am

Jon, you are a genius for bringing this up! Common courtesy is fine, but why do people ask me how I am as if they care? I'm a receptionist, so I get this all day from people whom I will never meet, but never fail to ask. What if I told them that I'm a little hungover today and tired? I never ask people how they are unless I actually care. It's such a waste of time otherwise.

However, what I hate even more is when they ask how you are, but then just keep talking as if they haven't just asked you a question. I mean, if you're going to ask, at least wait for a bloody response, ass!

[bta212]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:08pm

I'm here on behalf of the rest of us--those who make the calls that you are ranting about.

When I place a call to the Illinois Theatre Center, it is a singular event--I typically do not make multiple phone calls to order tickets at one sitting. Thus, maximum efficiency isn't really my goal. When Jon says "Illinois Theatre Center", my natural impulse is to acknowldge that I am speaking with a human being and not an automated voice-mail system, and so some inane pleasantry is a kind of instinctual opener.

Jon's rant is the first time I've ever considered the perspective of the person who answers the phone, and the notion that after the millionth person makes the inane pleasantry, its maybe not so pleasant.

You've opened at least one person's eyes, Jon. Thanks, and--have a nice day!

[bongoboy]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:16pm

'how are you' has now become synonymous w/ 'hello'. get used to it peeps, cause it ain't gonna stop.

*insert serenity prayer here*

i don't think maximum efficiency s/b your goal bta. as a customer you have a right decide if you will ask 'how are you?' or not without worrying about whether or not it will irritate the person, theater or company you are calling.
Updated On: 9/26/05 at 12:16 PM

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:16pm

Working where I work (coffeeshoppe/bakery on campus), I always greet customers with a cheerful "Hello," and often (usually from males, for some reason) get some version of "howyoudoin" mumbled in response. Usually, when I try to answer, "Fine, and yourself," they have more to say and it becomes obvious that "howyoudoin" was simply superfluous speech and that *they don't care.* This has happened enough that I tend to ignore that "howyoudoin" was a question and simply pretend it was a responding "hello" because I've gotten so many strange looks when I answer, "I'm fine, and yourself?" or because the "and yourself" will be ignored. Yet... I've had a few people get irritated when I don't answer with how I'm doing, refusing to give their order until they repeat "How are you doing today?" and I answer. (??) And, the thing is, when I've spent four hours on my feet and am looking forward to four hours more, I've been chewed out for making someone's drink exactly the way they barked it out (which wasn't actually what they meant), and I'm wearing cappuccino foam - you don't want to know how I am!

[mominator]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:27pm

Hmmm... I think I'd reply... "not bad for a Monday,but don't even think of asking me about tomorrow!"

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:35pm

*insert serenity prayer here*

One day I'm gonna shove this prayer up someones ass !!! Why do I have to accept the things I cannot change???

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:44pm

I'm someone who has a habit of asking people how they are (restaurant servers, grocery store cleks, etc.) because I actually DO care. I don't think it's that big a deal to acknowledge the other humans going about the business of their day around you. And depending on the answer, it's an opportunity to share in some happiness and good will, or show some sympathy and let them know they're not alone through their bad time.

If any of you happen to encounter me, feel free to tell me to fu*k off, mind my own business or whatever. I'll know not to bother you again.

But I'll STILL ask people in general how they are - and still care, too.

[RobbO]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:45pm

jon, if you want me to stop calling just say so! no need to start an entire thread about me!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:47pm

Thanks for that D. Why are people so offended by interaction with any other human being?

[RobbO]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:47pm

oh, and if you think that i'm not going to look up the number of the illinois theatre center and call you every hour on the hour you are sadly mistaken my friend. yes, i'm that demented. plus, all my work is done for the date and it's not even 1 p.m.

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:49pm

Hey, SOMMS - how ya doin'?

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:50pm

SH*Tty, but thanks for asking.

[RobbO]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:52pm

okay. this reminds me of the people that stalk me at 7 a.m. when i'm trying to walk my dog and get my day started. i need to walk him, get him inside and jump in the shower and go.

it never fails that even if i don't make eye contact and pull my dog in the opposite direction, i have loads of other people/dog walkers, etc. follow me to see if i want to chat or have the dogs play.

i'm walking in the opposite direction, pulling my dog behind me and do not interact in the least with these people and they continue to stalk me.

why don't they get the hint that i'm not there to make friends at 7 in the morning? i'm not trying to be rude but how dumb are they. i bet they then go home and call jon in illinois.

oh, and i honestly don't care how other people are doing - especially if i'm never going to see you again so waiters, doormen, etc. are fair game. i'm not being evil i'm just not built like that...

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 12:54pm

Does that apply if Colin were out there walking his pooch at 7 am and tried to chat you up?

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 1:05pm

Hmmm . . .

Sometimes I actually ask in the middle of the conversation, if there are problems or delays. I figure if I try to humanize the situation, then perhaps the issue/problem will get resolved somehow if a reasonable manner (especially if calling the phone company or cable company). More often than not, presuming the person on the other side of the line does not have an Indian accent, I ask "what part of the country are you in?" Because then I can figure out if they are just trying to finish the call to get home, or something else. Most folks appear to appreciate a conversation, rather than being spoken to.

And Robbo, maybe it is that whole Betty and Veronica thing - guys/girls always want want they cannot have. Your own attempts to be unatainable make you a target?

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 9/26/05 at 1:08pm

Fine RobbO my dog doesn't want to play with your smelly dog anyway !!! Plus,I just thought you'd like a toasted everything bagel with a schmear of cream cheese that I picked up for you...I left it in your mailbox when you ran inside.