How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

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How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:42am

I have a co-worker that I share a work space with that I like very much but there are a couple of things that she does that really bug me. She is extremely defensive and doesn't take criticism of any kind very well and I don't want to hurt her feelings but she is really driving me crazy.

She has an mp3 docking station on her desk and is constantly playing music at a very low volume. I don't mind the music. It's not loud enough to bother me. The problem is that she is always humming or softly singing along. Unfortunately, she is tone deaf and her humming and singing is atonal. It's so annoying and distracting. I just don't know what to do.

Occasionally she also pops gum which also drives me crazy but that doesn't happen very often. The humming is constant.

Any ideas on how I should approach this without sounding like a nit picking bitch?

I will also throw out there that she is the first person to speak up if someone is doing something that annoys her but from what I have observed she does not take the reverse very well.

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:49am

Can you wear headphones?

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:55am

Hum along with her.

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:56am

Not always. I do sometimes just to give myself a break from it but I don't feel comfortable doing it all the time.

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:09pm

Maybe constantly make comments on what she's humming .... and maybe she'll stop humming to shut you up.

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re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:14pm

The problem there is that I can't tell what she's humming because it's so distorted by her inability to match pitch.

Updated On: 6/18/09 at 12:14 PM

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:16pm

I don't see any reason to play games. Just be truthful and let her know that her humming/music playing is distracting.

<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:19pm

I'd secretly record her singing and play it at the Christmas party to loud guffaws.

But, then again, I'm a bitch.

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re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:21pm

LMAO Doodle!!!

(that is exactly what I would do, too)

"This show had the WORST magnets on Broadway!"

#10

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:23pm

Just say politely that music distracts you when you're working, and that you do appreciate that she kept it low volume, but it's still hard to pay attention.

But Doodle, that is amazing. My uncle did that with my grandma's snoring because she refused to believe that she snored.

In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy

#11

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:32pm

Out-hum her with Defying Gravity.

....but the world goes 'round

#12

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:32pm

The music isn't the problem. I don't mind the music. It's not loud enough for me to hear. It's the humming and singing along. She even hums when there is no music playing. It's just a habit with her.

#13

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:36pm

You are doomed. There is no solution. You will have to listen to her off-key humming for all eternity. Unless of course you just ask her as politely as possible to please keep the humming to a minimum.

"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers." Thomas Pynchon, GRAVITY'S RAINBOW "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." Philip K. Dick My blog: http://www.roscoewrites.blogspot.com/

#14

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:39pm

Some people hum without even realizing what they are doing. We're not allowed to have music at work and I'm often chastised by my coworkers for humming. I don't even realize I'm doing it.

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#15

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:44pm

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

BINGO!

She probably doesn't even realize it.

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#16

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:52pm

Either take her to lunch and discuss the matter with her honestly and without bitterness

Or...

buy her a small gift: candy, flowers, teddy bear and attach a note to it explaining the problem.

Food or gifts will soften the blow.

"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)

Updated On: 6/18/09 at 12:52 PM

#17

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:57pm

I worked with a guy that whistled all of the time.

Turns out, when I asked him about it, he was totally unaware he was even doing it.

#18

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:58pm

I whistle when I wear corduroy pants.

#19

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 1:03pm

Another thought...

Do you have those cubicles? Use a puppet peering over her side to discuss the matter with her.

"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)

Updated On: 6/18/09 at 01:03 PM

#20

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 1:07pm

Two words: "Stop it."

"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

#21

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 1:55pm

Much as I love the puppet idea, I have my own thoughts. It would depend on whether I liked the co-worker in question or not. At my former workplace, I would've brought it up with a "[name], you know I love you dearly, but I really can't concentrate when you're singing or humming. I'm sorry. Could you give it a rest for a bit?". (At my current workplace, I bottle the fury and keep getting angrier and angrier and angrier. I have increasingly violent daydreams. One day I might snap. D: )

Notes from the Earlham Street Gutter

Updated On: 6/18/09 at 01:55 PM

#22

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 2:05pm

Hey can you move to a different cubicle?

<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES

#23

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 2:22pm

I was going to suggest something similar to Weez. Next time she starts humming just laugh and say " I love you to death, but the humming needs to stop, my friend!" . Then when she does it again, laugh and plug your ears and say "You're doing it again!". My point is keep it on a friendly tone, but keep bringing it up.

#24

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 2:24pm

Honesty is the best way. "You know, I really like you as a co-worker but there's this one thing that bothers me a little and you may not be aware of it. It's really hard for me to concentrate on my work while you are humming."....

#25

re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?

Posted: 6/18/09 at 3:11pm

Moving is not an option. We are at capacity in my office.

I'm sure I will figure something out eventually. I just want to be tactful. She is a kind person and I want to make sure I tell her in a way that doesn't sound abrasive or confrontational.

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