How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Tom1071
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/1/04
#1How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:42am
I have a co-worker that I share a work space with that I like very much but there are a couple of things that she does that really bug me. She is extremely defensive and doesn't take criticism of any kind very well and I don't want to hurt her feelings but she is really driving me crazy.
She has an mp3 docking station on her desk and is constantly playing music at a very low volume. I don't mind the music. It's not loud enough to bother me. The problem is that she is always humming or softly singing along. Unfortunately, she is tone deaf and her humming and singing is atonal. It's so annoying and distracting. I just don't know what to do.
Occasionally she also pops gum which also drives me crazy but that doesn't happen very often. The humming is constant.
Any ideas on how I should approach this without sounding like a nit picking bitch?
I will also throw out there that she is the first person to speak up if someone is doing something that annoys her but from what I have observed she does not take the reverse very well.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#2re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:49amCan you wear headphones?
Phyllis Rogers Stone
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/16/07
#2re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:55amHum along with her.
Tom1071
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/1/04
#3re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 11:56amNot always. I do sometimes just to give myself a break from it but I don't feel comfortable doing it all the time.
#4re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:09pmMaybe constantly make comments on what she's humming .... and maybe she'll stop humming to shut you up.
Tom1071
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/1/04
#5re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:14pm
The problem there is that I can't tell what she's humming because it's so distorted by her inability to match pitch.
Updated On: 6/18/09 at 12:14 PM
#6re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:16pmI don't see any reason to play games. Just be truthful and let her know that her humming/music playing is distracting.
#7re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:19pm
I'd secretly record her singing and play it at the Christmas party to loud guffaws.
But, then again, I'm a bitch.
"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS
#8re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:21pm
LMAO Doodle!!!
(that is exactly what I would do, too)
#9re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:23pm
Just say politely that music distracts you when you're working, and that you do appreciate that she kept it low volume, but it's still hard to pay attention.
But Doodle, that is amazing. My uncle did that with my grandma's snoring because she refused to believe that she snored.
#10re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:32pmOut-hum her with Defying Gravity.
Tom1071
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/1/04
#11re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:32pmThe music isn't the problem. I don't mind the music. It's not loud enough for me to hear. It's the humming and singing along. She even hums when there is no music playing. It's just a habit with her.
Roscoe
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#12re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:36pmYou are doomed. There is no solution. You will have to listen to her off-key humming for all eternity. Unless of course you just ask her as politely as possible to please keep the humming to a minimum.
#13re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:39pmSome people hum without even realizing what they are doing. We're not allowed to have music at work and I'm often chastised by my coworkers for humming. I don't even realize I'm doing it.
TheatreDiva90016
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/10/04
#14re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:44pm
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
BINGO!
She probably doesn't even realize it.
Dollypop
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#15re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:52pm
Either take her to lunch and discuss the matter with her honestly and without bitterness
Or...
buy her a small gift: candy, flowers, teddy bear and attach a note to it explaining the problem.
Food or gifts will soften the blow.
TheatreDiva90016
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/10/04
#16re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:57pm
I worked with a guy that whistled all of the time.
Turns out, when I asked him about it, he was totally unaware he was even doing it.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#17re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:58pmI whistle when I wear corduroy pants.
Dollypop
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#18re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 1:03pm
Another thought...
Do you have those cubicles? Use a puppet peering over her side to discuss the matter with her.
#19re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 1:07pmTwo words: "Stop it."
#20re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 1:55pm
Much as I love the puppet idea, I have my own thoughts. It would depend on whether I liked the co-worker in question or not. At my former workplace, I would've brought it up with a "[name], you know I love you dearly, but I really can't concentrate when you're singing or humming. I'm sorry. Could you give it a rest for a bit?". (At my current workplace, I bottle the fury and keep getting angrier and angrier and angrier. I have increasingly violent daydreams. One day I might snap. D: )
Updated On: 6/18/09 at 01:55 PM
#21re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 2:05pmHey can you move to a different cubicle?
#22re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 2:22pmI was going to suggest something similar to Weez. Next time she starts humming just laugh and say " I love you to death, but the humming needs to stop, my friend!" . Then when she does it again, laugh and plug your ears and say "You're doing it again!". My point is keep it on a friendly tone, but keep bringing it up.
#23re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 2:24pmHonesty is the best way. "You know, I really like you as a co-worker but there's this one thing that bothers me a little and you may not be aware of it. It's really hard for me to concentrate on my work while you are humming."....
Tom1071
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/1/04
#24re: How do you politely tell a co-worker that they are annoying you?
Posted: 6/18/09 at 3:11pm
Moving is not an option. We are at capacity in my office.
I'm sure I will figure something out eventually. I just want to be tactful. She is a kind person and I want to make sure I tell her in a way that doesn't sound abrasive or confrontational.
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