How does one get through a broken heart? — Page 3

He has hurt me, yes,deeply, but even still love prevails. Even though I know theres no real future for us, I do not want to see him in pain. I have made promises. Those were of my choosing and in choosing to do so it is my duty to follow through. The High Road NYgal? Perhaps, just what my heart tells me to do.
When all is said and done and I look back on this I will probably laugh at the love sick schoolgirl I was, but I will not regret my actions. Or have allowed the situation to make my word, worthless.

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Honoring my word is what I deserve, not what he deserves. I take giving my word to do something very seriously. I would feel worse if I didn't see a promise through. It might seem strange, it might even make me an idiot but it is how I feel.

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I totally get what you're saying about honoring your word and I respect that. It's easier to heal when you can respect yourself and follow through on your commitments. Luckily, I don't owe anything financially to my ex. He certainly owes me, but he's made it clear that he would never do anything about it. I just hope you can wrap up your commitments as quickly as possible. I'm finally able to move to a place of deep anger and it's allowing me to face some truths about our relationship that I ignored because I was so commitment-oriented. And it's helping realize that even though what he did was the WORST thing possible, the real mistake was probably that it didn't happen sooner because he was the one who was not committed to the relationship. And he probably never was. At least, not by any mature or reasonable definition. I still have anxiety over the way he behaved and the truth behind it all and though it makes me sound bitter and spiteful, he even admits himself that it was all his fault. I know the problem wasn't me and I know I did nothing wrong. I just keep reminding myself that. I am a better person than he is. That's not me being arrogant or patronizing. It's just fact. So if following through on your word makes you the better person, I understand and support that.

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Updated On: 5/6/11 at 11:58 AM

SNAFU, I hope you get to the following point sooner than later.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1CMnZDllDU&NR=1

Yes, Sabrelady, I understand that. Elphaba I do understand I am walking a razors edge of playing the victim or playing the martyr. I am beginning to see through the hurt. There were no legal papers signed, There were just a promise or two made , even if the "relationship" was founded on a lie the promises were based on love, very real love on my end.
The loose ends are being tied up and I can feel the anger starting to rise. I guess that is a good sign. We shall see. Once the season ends in May so does the final commitment.... (we are working together you see. A little more complex).

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PJ Thank-you! That is a true gift!

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It seems, at the time, like you'll never feel happy or even enjoy a sunny day again. Or trust someone with your heart. Unfortunately, you can't make someone chose to love you and that hurts. (My first husband left me after 17 years...I speak from experience...) The raw hurt really does disappear with time. And if you chose to, you will be happy and love again. If you find yourself stuck and unable to move forward, seek help. I think enlisting a therapist to help get past the big bumps in life is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Best of luck.

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Congratulations on the 3 days!!!

Keep coming back.

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PS - As corny as it sounds, sometimes karma throws you a bone. Or as my sister-in-law put it, "If God leaves you a trail of breadcrumbs, why not pick them up and see where they lead?" Se may be a conservative Republican, but she's totally pro-gay. But I digress... I won't go into detail, but I was recently thrown for a loop in a pleasantly unexpected way. Let's just say I wasn't hiding and I certainly wasn't seeking, but I was found, nonetheless. And by someone with no preconceived notions of who I was. Just someone who wanted to get to know me on sight and patiently pursued. I can't tell you how awesome it was to be totally objectified! Now, I'm a realist and I'm not ready to hitch my wagon, but I feel better than I have in a year (and I've only been single a month!) and I'm going to ride that wave. He's good for my self-esteem and says I'm great for his. So I'm just going to give fate (or God or karma or what have you) a little respect and see what happens.

My point being...when you're ready, your subconscious will open you up to new experiences and hopefully, you follow its lead. And while you may have to give up some control, you can still remain objectively healthy. I never expected something like this to happen and I may not be completely ready for it, but I do know that I'm starting to feel better about myself and I'm getting the separation I need from my past relationship. But I am being honest with him and honest with myself (and honest with my therapist), so I feel totally okay with it.

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LOL Well, I don't live in NY, but I might be there next month for a weekend. I have promised dates with some others around here, so I want to be fair. If all I am is eye candy for the masses, I'm prepared to accept that.

A month? That is all?

I know, right?!?! I was thinking a year at the least.

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