How not to feel humiliated when dining alone
How not to feel humiliated when dining alone
#1How not to feel humiliated when dining alone
Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:51am
I recall in a thread about seeing shows alone people had brought up that they don't feel awkward about seeing shows alone but by dining alone. So I thought I would post this article that I just came across.
How not to feel humiliated when dining alone
#2How not to feel humiliated when dining alone
Posted: 1/21/10 at 1:10amSingle at Shows is easier than restaurants though, as your anonymous presence might indicate you are in town for business, or to see a friend in the cast, or that you're a fello producer or agent there to the check something about the show out. You can always hover in the back and wait until 3 minutes to curtain to take your seat and during Intermission? well that's what those engrossing Playbill stories are for... But the truth is, New Yorkers don't care and tourists are in their own excitement, so realy nobody's noticing you there by yourself, especially once the show has begun.
Q
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/3/05
#2How not to feel humiliated when dining alone
Posted: 1/21/10 at 2:13am
The best way not to feel 'humiliated' is not to give a damn what people think.
I'd recommend that in most arenas, actually.
#3how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 6:06amq's right. who gives a f*ck what other people think? if you need to justify something so insignificant as this you need help.
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#4how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 7:00amI agree with Q. I've dined out alone for years when I lived and worked in Europe. It never bothered me.
#5how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:27amI often dine alone, especially when I'm craving something. There are a few restaurants, especially in the Chicago Loop, that I'll treat myself to because they are out of my (and my friends) normal food budget. Yum now I really want a good steak. lol
blueroses
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/18/04
#6how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:49amI don't understand why any reasonably secure person would feel "humiliated." I'm social, but I love doing things on my own, too. What's the big deal?
#7how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:52amWhy not just do take-away?
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Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
blueroses
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/18/04
#8how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:54am
What if you're out by yourself and actually wanted to relax and have a meal in a restaurant? This article is dumb. Avoid "waitstaff pity?" Please.
Updated On: 1/21/10 at 08:54 AM
kooky
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/12/05
#9how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 9:02am
I have dined alone on many occasions thru the years .... don't worry about anything or anyone... after all your just there to enjoy your meal . Use it as an exercise for acting class .... and if that is not applicable .... an exercise for life experience ! Feel good about yourself .
Updated On: 1/21/10 at 09:02 AM
#10how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:01amI agree that it isn't that big a deal. I guess I used to think it was though because I've been questioned by friends in the past, and their answer was always, "Oh, I could never do that." Also, you could not go to the cafeteria at school alone, unless it was breakfast. Honestly, sometimes it just is a pleasure to not be in the company of others.
#11how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:21amThat article creates a non existent problem then cures it, Bravo!
Craww
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/13/06
#12how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:45amI don't think I'd be as uncomfortable as the people this article is targeting, but I can't believe I'm the only one who kind of gets it. Social anxiety and how it manifests in various situations isn't really a concept that adheres to the rules of logic, people.
#13how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:48amI would almost always take a book with me if dining alone.
#14how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:49am
"Single at Shows is easier than restaurants though, as your anonymous presence might indicate you are in town for business, or to see a friend in the cast, or that you're a fello producer or agent there to the check something about the show out"
Why should you have to try to indicate that?
#15how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:56amAttending a show alone is different. You're there for the entertainment. You don't need (or want) conversation during the experience. I guess some feel the same about eating.
#16how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:57am
Looking at it from the other perspective, I'm pretty certain I've never noticed whether someone was alone at the theater or not.
As for dining, I suppose if it were Valentine's Day, and I'm at an intimate restaurant with lots of couples canoodling, someone eating alone might register. But that's about it.
#17how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:58am
I have to agree with Craww. Though I'm not nearly as socially awkward as the people the article is targetting, there is something to be said for the social anxiety factor.
I have a lot of friends who refuse to eat by themselves in any capacity whether it's restaurants, outside, or in the dining hall because they don't want to look like they're alone.
#18how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 11:01am
I'm not saying I don't get the notion of dining-alone anxiety. I just mean that if you think about it, you probably don't notice (much less care about) seeing someone eating alone.
Craww
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/13/06
#19how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 11:06am
I'm not saying I don't get the notion of dining-alone anxiety. I just mean that if you think about it, you probably don't notice (much less care about) seeing someone eating alone.
That's true. But people with anxieties usually ease their mind easier with elaborate setups than with actual logic. So I guess I'm viewing this from the point of view of those who are conscious of the truth, but find it difficult to force themselves to ignore their ingrained insecurities.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#20how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 11:16amI don't understand why people get all self-conscious about something completely acceptable (like dining alone) when they obviously have no problem doing something people really do look askance at like voting Republican.
#21how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:04pmOk, next time we are in a restaurant, we should all take a moment to stare at and point out to other diners , those who are eating alone. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Craww
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/13/06
#22how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:43pm
The difference between reasonable anxiety and unreasonable anxiety is kind of like the difference between being really sad and being depressed.
People are never more obnoxious in their judgments as when they kind of get it. Everyone has been sad, everyone has been anxious, therefore they think they have an understanding of when it's reasonable for those emotional responses to come out. Unfortunately, a fear being unreasonable doesn't necessarily mean that it feels less real.
At the airport? I'd be more afraid to approach the counter and discuss an issue with the airline representative than I would be to get on the plane. In the same sphere, it's silly that people who are afraid to fly aren't afraid to drive when driving is much more dangerous.
I'm not afraid to dine alone or to see theater alone, but I'm not going to judge it.
Q
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/3/05
#23how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:48pmI must have missed the part in the article where it said it was intended for those with extraordinary anxiousness - it seemed to me that it was put out there in general, as if eating alone was somehow considered a bad thing.
#24how not to grant others unncecessary power over your own existence
Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:48pmI think we're just posting our opinions, like they did in the community section of the article Joe posted.
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