How not to feel humiliated when dining alone

[Eris0303]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:51am

I recall in a thread about seeing shows alone people had brought up that they don't feel awkward about seeing shows alone but by dining alone. So I thought I would post this article that I just came across.
How not to feel humiliated when dining alone

[gcontini2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 1:10am

Single at Shows is easier than restaurants though, as your anonymous presence might indicate you are in town for business, or to see a friend in the cast, or that you're a fello producer or agent there to the check something about the show out. You can always hover in the back and wait until 3 minutes to curtain to take your seat and during Intermission? well that's what those engrossing Playbill stories are for... But the truth is, New Yorkers don't care and tourists are in their own excitement, so realy nobody's noticing you there by yourself, especially once the show has begun.

[Q]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 2:13am

The best way not to feel 'humiliated' is not to give a damn what people think.

I'd recommend that in most arenas, actually.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 6:06am

q's right. who gives a f*ck what other people think? if you need to justify something so insignificant as this you need help.

[kec]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 7:00am

I agree with Q. I've dined out alone for years when I lived and worked in Europe. It never bothered me.

[jessica0414]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:27am

I often dine alone, especially when I'm craving something. There are a few restaurants, especially in the Chicago Loop, that I'll treat myself to because they are out of my (and my friends) normal food budget. Yum now I really want a good steak. lol

[blueroses]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:49am

I don't understand why any reasonably secure person would feel "humiliated." I'm social, but I love doing things on my own, too. What's the big deal?

[StageManager2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:52am

Why not just do take-away?

[blueroses]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 8:54am

What if you're out by yourself and actually wanted to relax and have a meal in a restaurant? This article is dumb. Avoid "waitstaff pity?" Please.
Updated On: 1/21/10 at 08:54 AM

[kooky]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 9:02am

I have dined alone on many occasions thru the years .... don't worry about anything or anyone... after all your just there to enjoy your meal . Use it as an exercise for acting class .... and if that is not applicable .... an exercise for life experience ! Feel good about yourself .



Updated On: 1/21/10 at 09:02 AM

[Marianne2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:01am

I agree that it isn't that big a deal. I guess I used to think it was though because I've been questioned by friends in the past, and their answer was always, "Oh, I could never do that." Also, you could not go to the cafeteria at school alone, unless it was breakfast. Honestly, sometimes it just is a pleasure to not be in the company of others.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:21am

That article creates a non existent problem then cures it, Bravo!

[Craww]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:45am

I don't think I'd be as uncomfortable as the people this article is targeting, but I can't believe I'm the only one who kind of gets it. Social anxiety and how it manifests in various situations isn't really a concept that adheres to the rules of logic, people.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:48am

I would almost always take a book with me if dining alone.

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:49am

"Single at Shows is easier than restaurants though, as your anonymous presence might indicate you are in town for business, or to see a friend in the cast, or that you're a fello producer or agent there to the check something about the show out"

Why should you have to try to indicate that?

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:56am

Attending a show alone is different. You're there for the entertainment. You don't need (or want) conversation during the experience. I guess some feel the same about eating.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:57am

Looking at it from the other perspective, I'm pretty certain I've never noticed whether someone was alone at the theater or not.

As for dining, I suppose if it were Valentine's Day, and I'm at an intimate restaurant with lots of couples canoodling, someone eating alone might register. But that's about it.

[StarStruckGB]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 10:58am

I have to agree with Craww. Though I'm not nearly as socially awkward as the people the article is targetting, there is something to be said for the social anxiety factor.
I have a lot of friends who refuse to eat by themselves in any capacity whether it's restaurants, outside, or in the dining hall because they don't want to look like they're alone.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 11:01am

I'm not saying I don't get the notion of dining-alone anxiety. I just mean that if you think about it, you probably don't notice (much less care about) seeing someone eating alone.

[Craww]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 11:06am

I'm not saying I don't get the notion of dining-alone anxiety. I just mean that if you think about it, you probably don't notice (much less care about) seeing someone eating alone.

That's true. But people with anxieties usually ease their mind easier with elaborate setups than with actual logic. So I guess I'm viewing this from the point of view of those who are conscious of the truth, but find it difficult to force themselves to ignore their ingrained insecurities.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 11:16am

I don't understand why people get all self-conscious about something completely acceptable (like dining alone) when they obviously have no problem doing something people really do look askance at like voting Republican.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:04pm

Ok, next time we are in a restaurant, we should all take a moment to stare at and point out to other diners , those who are eating alone. Be afraid, be very afraid.

[Craww]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:43pm

The difference between reasonable anxiety and unreasonable anxiety is kind of like the difference between being really sad and being depressed.

People are never more obnoxious in their judgments as when they kind of get it. Everyone has been sad, everyone has been anxious, therefore they think they have an understanding of when it's reasonable for those emotional responses to come out. Unfortunately, a fear being unreasonable doesn't necessarily mean that it feels less real.

At the airport? I'd be more afraid to approach the counter and discuss an issue with the airline representative than I would be to get on the plane. In the same sphere, it's silly that people who are afraid to fly aren't afraid to drive when driving is much more dangerous.

I'm not afraid to dine alone or to see theater alone, but I'm not going to judge it.

[Q]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:48pm

I must have missed the part in the article where it said it was intended for those with extraordinary anxiousness - it seemed to me that it was put out there in general, as if eating alone was somehow considered a bad thing.

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/21/10 at 12:48pm

I think we're just posting our opinions, like they did in the community section of the article Joe posted.