I must euthanize my beloved cat...

[bobby_luvs_bway]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:34pm

Has anyone been though this? This is the first pet I've ever had to do this with. My cat, Messalina, was a housewarming gift from my mother twenty years ago. She was only 8 weeks when I got her and tonight I have to see her off. I would love for any of you to share your experiences.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:44pm

It is hard to do surely. Be there and hold her and tell her what a good cat she has been as she goes to the other side. It is hard but later on you will be glad you did!
I didn't do that with my first cat who lived to be 19 and I still feel guilty about it. The recent cat, a rescue that was also 19 had to be put down. I stayed and told him how much I loved him as they injected him. It was a quiet and peaceful passing.

[Weez]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:44pm

Oh jeez, I'm so so sorry. I've had pets euthanised, but due to circumstances, not being big on stressful events, and having an amazing support network of friends, I've never actually had to be there when it happened. I think it's best to focus on the... not positives exactly, but the less negative aspects: you get to say goodbye. You get to ease her suffering. You're doing what's best for her, even though it hurts so much you can hardly breathe. It might help if you have a good friend around tonight; you can hide yourself away from the world and weep if you choose to, but you might appreciate having someone there if you need them.

Remember the twenty years of happiness she brought you. Know that you were a good pet owner and gave her everything you could, and this - a painfree sleep - is the last good thing you can give her. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. *hugs*

[xxnewgirlxx]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:48pm

Much love and sympathy. Sounds like Messalina has had a long, loved life.

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:49pm

Yes, unfortunately, many of us have gone through this. It is unfortunately one of the hardest things about owning a pet.

Search "Rainbow Bridge" and you will find a good number of posts on this site with people sharing with others about their experiences. I would also recommend you read the Rainbow Bridge poem, because it is quite lovely.

I went through it about a month ago, and honestly don't have it in me to rehash the experience. But, attached is a link to that thread.

I comforted my "son" until he was at peace, and he knew he was loved until the very end.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I can truly sympathize.

Stoli Updated On: 9/17/08 at 06:49 PM

[bobby_luvs_bway]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:51pm

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I'm a mess and thought I might be overreacting. My best gal pal and my partner will be there with me. Again, thank you.

[LaurenB]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:54pm

I am so sorry about your cat. I cried for weeks after my cat passed away, and not a day goes by when I don't think about him, and it has been 2 years now. I hope her last memories are of the love that you have for her.

[xxnewgirlxx]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:55pm

YWIW, how are you and Zorra doing?

[Weez]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:55pm

Oh lord, of course not! She's been a member of your family for twenty years! And I know how choked up I was when I lost my rat after a mere ten months together. How could you possibly be overreacting?

YWIW makes a good point about the Rainbow Bridge. At other times, it may seem kinda corny, but whenever I'm missing a former pet, I always find it an immense comfort to think about:

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears p-rick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

Updated On: 9/17/08 at 06:55 PM

[Mamie]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 6:56pm

You're not overreacting. I don't think I've every cried so hard or so much. My little logical voice was telling me that he was so sick and this was the kindest thing to do - but my heart was breaking. That was quite a few years ago and just writing this is making me tear up again.

It's one of the hardest and most generous things you can do. All our hearts are with you.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 7:01pm

Whenever I start thinking about the possibility of my having to do this with my cats, I have to "change the channel." They are "family" to me

Please don't feel "weird" for caring as much as you do for your cat. Mine will be 17 years old next week. I have more history with them than I do with my husband and children!

Just remember that whatever you decide, you're doing it because you want to cause your cat as little pain and suffering as possible, which is the most loving choice you can make.

As mamie said, "All our hearts are with you."

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 7:12pm

Bobby,

You are not over reacting. It's a tough decision, and even tougher to actually be there. Surround yourself with the love and support of your friends.

I can't even think of my experience last year without tearing up ... my heart goes out to you. Plan do to something to "get away" from reality for a bit after - I spent a couple of hours downtown window shopping by myself.

[bobby_luvs_bway]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 7:20pm

Again, thank you all. YWIW and Weez thank you for the Rainbow bridge poem, it helps...alot!

[Elphaba]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 7:39pm

Bobby, you may remember I went through this 2 years ago, and it was one of the hardest times of my life.
I had had Sweetpea for 17 years.

What got me through was the rainbows bridge website, where I have a memorial to Sweetpea, and where I am one of the volunteers who when new people join contact them and let them know they are not alone.

I truly feel for you, it is not an easy thing....but you will get through this...just remember there is no right way or wrong way to act/grieve.....just do as you will.

the website is www.rainbowsbridge.com

[blueroses]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 7:51pm

I'm so sorry, bobby. I've gone through it with both a cat and a dog and the losses were devastating. May your memories comfort you. XOXO

[best12bars]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 8:01pm

So sorry, bobby. My thoughts are with you.

[kec]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 8:26pm

Bobby, no way are you over reacting. I had to do this five years ago with my cat Mex. I was living in Croatia at the time. My sister had given him to me in 1989, and he traveled with me from Romania, my first overseas job, to Germany, back to the U.S. and then to Croatia -- I had him for 17 years.

My upstair neighbor went with me, because we both knew what was going to happen. It was the toughest thing I've ever done. Then I had to call my family and let them know, including my sister. That was really a bad year for me, because six months after Mex was put to sleep, my mother died. Five years, and even though I have another cat, whom I love dearly, I still miss Mex.

My sympathies to you.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 8:28pm

I'm going through this now with a cat at the end of options. The last visit to the vet in August was beyond sad -- she said the next time my Mabel is brought in, it will probably be the final one. (She has suffered from a terrible syndrome -- taking her own fur off, until she has wounds, and constant fur balls with many digestion problems -- anyone ever face this?) Anyway, I've put a few down in my life, one 21 years old, and I can only say, that particular case proved transcendent -- the saddness mixed with a real respect for his life and a sweet goodbye. My advice -- and everyone is different -- don't try not to think about it. Prepare, and see it as an act of love. Keep repeating that, it's just like feeding the cat or changing the box or petting it. You are only helping, doing the move gentle and loving thing you can.

[kooky]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 8:37pm

Oh honey, I AM sorry, I've been through this many times... it is heart wrenching.
I now have 3 little beauties and I can't even go there with my thoughts.
My thoughts are with you ........

[Chevstriss]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 8:37pm

just this morning my veterinary oncologist suggesting we give up on chemo and just do pain management in prep for euthanasia this month sometime. My cat is only 8. His tumor just showed up in mid may, one of the fastest VAS fatalities recorded.
Feline Vaccine Associated Sarcoma

[sally1112]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 9:39pm

My best friend is a cat lover, I can only imagine what you are going through.

Sorry for your loss.

[PB ENT.]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 10:15pm

I just went through this 3 weeks ago. The handsome guy you see in my avatar was our best friend, a lovable and loyal Springer Spaniel named Symon. (Sir Symon Sez according to his AKA papers).

He was 14 yrs. old and more like a "well behaved" teenager in our home. He was extremely smart, a good hunter (stirring up squirrels and rabbits, that is).

Bottom line, you will cry and miss your buddy for a long time. You will never replace them. Don't try. But DO focus on all the love you gave and received in return.

You will know when/if you need to find another cat or dog to fill the void. (Don't let others talk you into a pet too soon).

There's no love like that of a beloved pet. Some days I miss my boy almost more than I can bear, but I treasure all the wonderful years we spent together.

Time will heal the loss and fond memories will make you smile someday.

Chin up!

Pati b

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 10:20pm

I've been through it a few times, too. I always find comfort in the fact that I've never let a pet die alone, and they they've always felt loved to the very end. I agree with Auggie that it's an act of love.

When we had to put my dear Dewey to sleep, against all common sense, we came back home from the vet's with two abandoned 4 1/2 week old kittens that had been dropped off there. I like to think that Orpheus and Persephone are living a good lives because of Dewey...and in his honor. It didn't make me miss him any less, but it worked out well for all concerned.

My best thoughts to you, Bobby, and to everyone else here who is facing the loss of a beloved pet.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 10:31pm

What a lucky, lucky cat Messalina is to have had you to take care of her and love her for 20 years.

If she could talk right now, you know what she'd say?

"Thank you, Bobby, for loving me so much. I love you, Bobby."

[NYadgal]

Posted: 9/17/08 at 10:39pm

Everybody has already written so beautifully - so I'll just add my sympathy for your loss and I hope you find comfort in the memories of 20 years of love.