I wrote a poem. What do you think?
I wrote a poem. What do you think?
broadwaywriter
Stand-by Joined: 3/25/08
#1I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:02pm
"Spring"
Spring showers numb the morning
Their clouds do soar and sway
Elate and vent till receding
Their tears give mercy way
Stars I see do glisten
When candlelight is near
Stop and think and listen
Listen to what you hear
Dark is soft
Moon is bright
Sun keeps out the cold
We must rely on springing shine
To halt to kiss to hold
Updated On: 5/1/08 at 09:02 PM
broadwaywriter
Stand-by Joined: 3/25/08
Dollypop
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
broadwaywriter
Stand-by Joined: 3/25/08
Dollypop
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#4re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:35pmYou asked my opinion and I gave it.
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)
broadwaywriter
Stand-by Joined: 3/25/08
#5re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:37pm
SOMEBODY WRITE SOMETHING I NEED APPROVAL FROM STRANGERS
Updated On: 5/1/08 at 09:37 PM
#6re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:37pm
I think he said that Mo likes it. 
I'm not a huge fan of poetry, but it's not terrible. There are some nice visuals, but I'm not a fan of the last stanza. It feels a little tacked on.
"Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money." ~ Moliere
broadwaywriter
Stand-by Joined: 3/25/08
#7re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:38pmWhatever. This was my first real poem. I don't think it's too awful so I'm proud of it.
Dollypop
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#8re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:39pmIf you depend on the kindness of strangers you'll become another Blanche du Bois.
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)
#9re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 9:40pmLet's not get defensive. If you want to write, as your username suggests, you need to understand that not everyone will like your work. BWW isn't the best place to post your work anyway. If you want to write poetry, I suggest you join a poetry forum. They'll be more open to reading and critiquing it.
"Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money." ~ Moliere
#10re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/1/08 at 10:28pmDon't quit your day job
....but the world goes 'round
#11re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 12:00am
...but don't give up, either.
Ever.
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
CMoore
Leading Actor Joined: 8/17/07
#12re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 12:23amYou know, in my opinion, when it comes to poetry it's all relative. It's like art that way. One person can say it is good and put some money in there and it becomes a masterpiece. That being said, I thought it was good :).
broadwaywriter
Stand-by Joined: 3/25/08
#13re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 5:56pmI'm not a poet. I just felt like writing a poem. I'm actually a pretty decent writer when I try. My passion is actually music and performing.
#14re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 6:05pm
I read the title and am still singing a song from Bare..does this make me a bad person?
Haha, seriously though- keep writing!
xx
(Spring, a time for love, a time for two. A time when lovers start to coo, spring can lick me!)
"I trained as a classical actor at Juilliard. I jump at the opportunity to do classical text...But I never in a million years guessed I'd get to play Juliet!"- Michael Arden
#16re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 6:18pm
The great thing about writing is that even if noone likes your work, you can keep doing it if it's what makes you happy. You can be your own critic and learn from persistence, rather than by suggestion from others.
Updated On: 5/2/08 at 06:18 PM
#17re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 6:27pm
I just wrote one as well. It's called Sock Puppet.
"Sock Puppet"
How I love your transparent agenda,
your identity concealed in saran wrap.
Your artificial sweetness reminds of splenda,
and your game is as fun as a smear pap.
I long for your chaos and the Friday melt down
as other altar egos are an envious green like Kermit the Muppet.
Your tired act has been done before and better all around,
though what would this place be with out a host of sock puppets?
Updated On: 5/2/08 at 06:27 PM
Raspberry
Leading Actor Joined: 1/29/07
#18re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/2/08 at 6:58pmThat Sock Puppet one is pretty good. And I know you didn't ask for it, but to offer a tiny bit of criticism, the lines in the second stanza start to get a bit long, which causes the poem to kind of lose the rhythm of the first stanza.
"I just want a story and a few good songs that will take me away. I just want to be entertained. I mean, isn't that the point?"
#19re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/3/08 at 3:48pmwhy does every aspiring poet feel at first that things have to rhyme.....ugh
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story...
AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
#20re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/3/08 at 4:07pm
I wish Broadwaywriter was a block of wood
and I a burning coal.
I'd hold him in my warm embrace
and roast his wee arsehole.
Art has a double face, of expression and illusion.
#21re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/3/08 at 4:07pmlolol, Bravo Art, truly that WAS art!
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story...
AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
TheatreDiva90016
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/10/04
#22re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/3/08 at 4:09pm
First, you post, "SOMEBODY WRITE SOMETHING I NEED APPROVAL FROM STRANGERS"
Then, when folks do give their opinion you post, "Whatever. This was my first real poem. I don't think it's too awful so I'm proud of it."
Make up your mind BEFORE you post.
"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>>
“I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>>
-whatever2
misschung
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/18/07
#23re: I wrote a poem. What do you think?
Posted: 5/3/08 at 4:43pmthis thread is wack
The morning star always gets wonderful bright the minute before it has to go --doesn't it?
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