The china scene
Context: extract from the notorious "China scene", where Horner and his mistresses carry on a sustained double entendre dialogue purportedly about Horner's china collection. The husband of Lady Fidget and the grandmother of Mrs. Squeamish are listening front stage and nodding in approval, failing to pick up the double meaning which is obvious to the audience. Dialogue such as this made "china" a dirty word in common conversation, Wycherley later claimed.
Mrs. Squeamish: I can’t find ’em.—Oh, are you here, grandmother? I followed, you must know, my Lady Fidget hither; ’tis the prettiest lodging, and I have been staring on the prettiest pictures—
Re-enter Lady Fidget with a piece of china in her hand, and Horner following.
Lady Fidget: And I have been toiling and moiling for the prettiest piece of china, my dear.
Horner: Nay, she has been too hard for me, do what I could.
Mrs. Squeamish: Oh, lord, I’ll have some china too. Good Mr. Horner, don’t think to give other people china, and me none; come in with me too.
Horner: Upon my honour, I have none left now.
Mrs. Squeamish: Nay, nay, I have known you deny your china before now, but you shan’t put me off so. Come.
Horner: This lady had the last there.
Lady Fidget: Yes indeed, madam, to my certain knowledge, he has no more left.
Mrs. Squeamish: O, but it may be he may have some you could not find.
Lady Fidget: What, d’ye think if he had had any left, I would not have had it too? for we women of quality never think we have china enough.
Horner: Do not take it ill, I cannot make china for you all, but I will have a roll-wagon for you too, another time.
Mrs. Squeamish: Thank you, dear toad.
Cheyenne Jackson tickled me. AFTER ordering SoMMS a drink but NOT tickling him, and hanging out with Girly in his dressing room (where he DIDN'T tickle her) but BEFORE we got married. To others. And then he tweeted Boobs. He also tweeted he's good friends with some chick on "The Voice" who just happens to be good friends with Tink's ex. And I'm still married. Oh, and this just in: "Pettiness, spite, malice ....Such ugly emotions... So sad." - After Eight, talking about MEEEEEEEE!!! I'm so honored! :-)