#1
Posted: 4/13/05 at 2:30pm
So one of my friends claimed to be worthless, and I said it would be a fun game to try to list all of his worthless points. Here is what I sent him (and it's all 100% true, and no, I'm not normally so mean, he'll take it in jest and it won't affect our friendship):
1. You are completely apathetic to everything in your life, from work to your girlfriend to your social life and everything in between. With the exception of sports and beer, and getting laid once a month.
2. You lie. A lot. About everything.
3. You say something dumb and insulting, then say you are kidding. But you really aren’t kidding, you are just trying to make the other person feel better.
4. You rip on your friends nonstop, and treat them like ****.
5. You are cheap.
6. You are lazy. Instead of doing anything, you’d rather sleep, watch tv, or just sit around doing nothing. If there is a beer in your hand and naked women or sports nearby, you are happy.
7. You hate your friends. You are ready to disown everyone you know and never look back.
8. You have female friends who like talking to you and need your support, and you don’t care at all. Yes we cry. Yes we bitch. Just deal with it, and try to be nice once in a while.
9. You are superficial. There is more to females than what they look like.
10. Your cleanliness habits are horrible. You don’t clean your room or bathroom ever. Laundry? What’s that? Change your boxers once in a while! Don’t leave dried blood on the floor! That’s just gross!!
11. You are extremely self-centered. If it doesn’t revolve around you, you don’t care. End of story.
1. You are completely apathetic to everything in your life, from work to your girlfriend to your social life and everything in between. With the exception of sports and beer, and getting laid once a month.
2. You lie. A lot. About everything.
3. You say something dumb and insulting, then say you are kidding. But you really aren’t kidding, you are just trying to make the other person feel better.
4. You rip on your friends nonstop, and treat them like ****.
5. You are cheap.
6. You are lazy. Instead of doing anything, you’d rather sleep, watch tv, or just sit around doing nothing. If there is a beer in your hand and naked women or sports nearby, you are happy.
7. You hate your friends. You are ready to disown everyone you know and never look back.
8. You have female friends who like talking to you and need your support, and you don’t care at all. Yes we cry. Yes we bitch. Just deal with it, and try to be nice once in a while.
9. You are superficial. There is more to females than what they look like.
10. Your cleanliness habits are horrible. You don’t clean your room or bathroom ever. Laundry? What’s that? Change your boxers once in a while! Don’t leave dried blood on the floor! That’s just gross!!
11. You are extremely self-centered. If it doesn’t revolve around you, you don’t care. End of story.
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