Fishy (Darlin, we have GOT to come up with a better name for you), just tell them that you couldn't POSSIBLY have completed your paper because it was absolutely necessary that you first gave yourself a beta carotene/panthenol hair mask, followed by your chamomile rinse (how ELSE do they expect you to maintain that brilliant blonde???), and then you had to spend an hour with your pearl cream and royal jelly mask.
I'm SURE they will understand! If not, tell them:
"Je suis trop fabuleux pour ce bete merde, vous cochon laid!"
Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you.
Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.