Lesbian Mom Says She Watched Starbucks Supervisor Fire Man for Being Gay - Page 2

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:40am

Thank you guys for affirming my previous comments...

To continue the things that have been raised in this conversation, there is a HUGE difference in these issues. Having a chip on your shoulder, being incredibly militant and downright argumentative is one thing.. and I will NOT sit here and label those people as being wrong or feeling incorrectly, but I do understand that there IS workplace decorum that should be followed.. HOWEVER, having a rainbow flag magnet in your cubicle, or a picture of your partner (personally, I don't care for that term), or talking with a coworker about where you went on your date the previous night or a weekend with the in-laws is the bigger issue.. When our heterosexual brethren do this or something similar, not a person bats an eye. The SECOND a homosexual / bisexual person mentioned any of this, all of a sudden we are accused of 'flaunting' or 'shoving it in someone's face' and told to 'keep it behind closed doors' and 'not to speak about it'. It is an insulting and demeaning double standard. Like it our not, our sexual orientation isn't just what we do in the bedroom and who we love, it plays a part in almost ever facet of our lives and we should NOT have to walk on egg shells. If a hetero is going to tell me about taking his wife to a movie, then this homosexual wants to talk about taking his boyfriend (If I had one!) to a movie. If that hetero walks down the street holding her hand, this homo wants to hold his boy's hand as well.

Back to the original post and issue, we don't know what the kid's job performance was like, but that exchange crossed a line and was NOT about job performance. It not only attacked him, but the lesbian mother and anyone else who might have been present. That is INCREDIBLY wrong.

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:54am

Romantico,

I wanted to take a moment to respond to your post in reference to guys and girls at the mall..

In 2007, I was dating a boy who lived on Long island. We used to spend weekends out there and one weekend, we went to a mall (the name slips my mind), but instinctively, our hands just interlocked and we didn't really notice that we were holding hands til a group of teenagers started snickering and called us a name. Still, we kept walking hand in hand. 10 minutes later, a man in his late 30s or early 40s stopped us, told us that he was gay and thanked us, saying that he didn't think he would ever see a gay couple walking through the mall hand in hand and even asked if he could take our picture.. all the while his eyes were welling with tears.

Several months later, we were seeing Beauty and the Beast with an out of town family member (his cousin) and found ourselves seated directly in front of a middle school group from the south. having just come from a trip to 5th Avenue, our out of town guest had a shopping bag from Abercrombie and a Polaroid picture of himself with a model (the store was offering photo-ops). At intermission, I had my arm around my boyfriend and his head on my shoulder while his cousin dug through his shopping bag to pull out the Polaroid. NOTHING illicit was being said / done / seen, but a teacher from 3 rows back in that school group parted her students like the Red Sea and proceeded to lecture us, informing us that we were perverts and shouldn't behave like that in public, especially where there are children around, how they should feel safe to bring their kids in public and to put our "pornography" (the bag and the Polaroid of the model and the cousin?) away, etc etc. I stood up, whirled around and put that woman in her place not ONLY in what she had the NERVE to say but about her behavior and boundary issues. Damn it felt good. Of course, as all this was going on, a heterosexual couple across the aisle was having a make out session complete with hands on upper thighs...
Updated On: 6/16/11 at 01:54 AM

[romantico]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 9:46am

Broadwayguy2, I've heard so many similar stories from friends who have said basically the same thing you have. Luckily, I have not had any unpleasant experiences personally but my heart goes out to those who have. I think you HAVE TO confront those who display so much ignorance and intolerance nowadays.People like that have to be confronted or they will continue. I think if I were the lesbian Mom who witnessed this I would have confronted the Manager and told him that she was reporting this. I would have told him this sort of conduct goes against Starbucks policy and just told him off right there. People like this get nervous when they think someone is against them. Telling him you will no longer give Starbucks your business and that you plan on posting this horrible experience on the internet can do a lot of good. I think people like this assume people will either mind their own business or agree with them. They feel they are justified so they don't feel they are doing anything wrong.I'm sure the manager of this Starbucks will be fired.

Updated On: 6/16/11 at 09:46 AM

[AnthVoice2010]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 10:51am

The moral to this story is a simple one:

OPEN YOUR MOUTH

Someone is being abused - write a letter - write a blog account.

You have an awful experience, send an e-mail.

I went on a job interview once for a leading bank, they literally brought out an abacus and gave me math problems to solve.

AN ABACUS...

It seemed like a big joke to them! I knew at once (after years with financial institutions) that they had "chosen" who they wanted and were having a laugh with the rest of the candidates left to interview..

OK

I got home - I wrote to the President of this company. I wrote to the Head of HR. I named names of everyone in that interview.

Within 24 hours, I had two e-mails apologizing profusely from both the President and HR Head assuring me that action would be taken.

Updated On: 6/16/11 at 10:51 AM

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:31pm

When I was 20, I got my first apartment and my mom wanted to buy me a few things. We went on a girls weekend to a vacation town that was famous for their outlet malls. My mom and I were very close at the time and were enjoying the sight seeing in the little town. Not thinking anything of it, we linked arms while window shopping. A group of teens in matching Something Baptist Church Youth Group shirts passed us and one loudly said, "Oh my God, that is SO gross!" I wondered if they could be referring to us, but laughed it off. Suddenly, there were three teenage girls blocking our path, verbally tripping over each other trying to tell us how the bible says, "If a man lays with another man as with a woman..." and something about how intimacy was a gift from God that should only be experienced in the marriage bed... blah, blah, blah and then asked if we wanted to get to know Jesus Christ. I just laughed and said, "She's my mom. No points for you today."

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:45pm

JG2, that's an amazing story. You handled it much better than I would have.

I think I'd have gone with "Okay, girls, but first let's test your knowledge of Jesus's teachings. I'm going to slap the sh*t out of you. Now, let's see if you know what Jesus said to do in response."

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:59pm

Yes, you absolutely HAVE to speak up if you are in a place where you are able and - to be fair - if you are a strong enough person to be able to stand firm and do so.

In the particular incident at Beauty and the Beast, I went off on the woman not only for what she thought and said and that odds her she has a gay student present who no longer can feel comfortable around here in school, let alone on the far end of a country, but also about how 'in our business' she'd have to be to see a Polaroid picture sitting on someone's lap from three rows away, that a shirtless male is in no way pornographic, how ill behaved she and some of group were during act one and how DARE she come into my city, my neighborhood AND a Broadway house and tell me such a thing...

For the record, she sank back into her seat with a red face and several rows of student laughing and a couple even applauding.

As far as the Lesbian Mother at Starbucks, I can understand being conflicted and not wanting to say anything. In that situation, it probably would have had NO impact aside from venting and making things worse for the employee, whereas writing to corporate would be far more likely to get reaction.

This story was covered on my local NBC newscast this morning. I stopped to watch, but the coverage was really treated as a simple blurb and an end tag to the NY Marriage campaign. They made no mention of the attack on his sexuality or being witnessed by a lesbian patron. They merely said that a gay employee at a Starbucks on Long island was forced to resign at a meeting with a manager that was conducted on the floor of the establishment and that public meetings such as that are against Starbucks policy and the company is looking into the matter. Really, it would be nice if they at least had actually reported what had happened...

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:17pm

Bwayguy2, I really applaud you for the action you took with the school teacher! Did she respond in any way?

I imagine she, like the Starbucks manager, probably felt like a hero, standing up for what's right by spewing their venom. That's the sick part. I'd like to think these people can learn a lesson, but I'm not sure they can--unless the lesson is simply "F*ck with us and you'll get f*cked back." And that's a fine place to start, as far as I'm concerned.

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:34pm

I think I'd have gone with "Okay, girls, but first let's test your knowledge of Jesus's teachings. I'm going to slap the sh*t out of you. Now, let's see if you know what Jesus said to do in response."

hands down the best comment I have read all week. I am smiling at my desk.

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:43pm

Reginald,
Thank you very much! As I said, she sank back in her seat with a visibly red face as all of the students giggled and stared. Never heard a peep out of her for the rest of the show.
:)