Lesbian Mom Says She Watched Starbucks Supervisor Fire Man for Being Gay

[romantico]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 9:41am

A lesbian mom says she witnessed a shocking display of homophobia by a Long Island Starbucks supervisor in which an employee was publicly humiliated and reprimanded, and then fired in front of the entire shop floor, because he was gay.

Starbucks The mother, who was there with her daughter, posts a detailed account on her blog in an open letter to Starbucks:

Know, I am not going to swear by what the original confrontation was. I only heard bits and pieces, but I know that worker was attacked and humiliated on the middle of your shop floor. I don’t care what his offense was, that sort of business should be conducted in a back room. I also know, the “manager” was not willing to listen to him and personally attacked him several times with snide, condescending comments. Telling him, in the subtext of her words that he was “Less than” and his personal belief system was no longer welcome at the shop.

The event got more horrific, when he, who had kept his composure through the entire incident, not once raising his voice despite being attacked, got up from the table to go to the bathroom to cry in private.

Then the three women turned on him like Vultures.

“I’m done. I’m done. Nobody wants to hear it anymore. I don’t care who he is dating. I don’t want to hear about it.”

“He should not get upset at the things people say to him. He should be used to it. It’s not like he turned gay yesterday.”

“I used to listen to it, now I’m just sick of hearing about it.”

“Nobody does, but it’s over now. You won’t have to hear about it anymore.”

It went on, and on and on.

The focus of their discussion then when he left the table, was not about an incident that occurred in the previous days. It was about how they were intolerant to his lifestyle, nobody wanted to hear about the fact that he was gay, they didn’t want to be exposed to that. The focus was not about his poor performance as an employee but their intolerance towards him as a person. I sat at there at my table with the impression that,

This man, this Starbucks employee was losing his job, because he was gay.

http://lilfamilyblog.wordpress.com/2011/06/13/i-know-starbucks-is-not-an-anti-gay-homophobic-company-by-policy-but/

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 10:31am

Here was my first thought after reading their comments about the employee. (Which still doesn't make what they did right) It sounds like he might have possibly talked a lot about his personal life at work. Maybe about more than co-workers wanted to hear and might not have realized or cared that they didn't want to hear everything he was telling them. Just my thoughts.

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 10:57am

Why is it relevant that it's a lesbian mom?

[rosscoe(au)]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 11:20am

That was my first thought s well!

[rosscoe(au)]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 11:20am

That was my first thought s well!

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 11:34am

At the risk of getting "yelled" at. A lot of people in the gay community feel the need to identify their orientation even when it really doesn't matter and especially when it relates to gay issues like this one.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 11:46am

Not going to yell, uncageg, but I'd counter that by saying that a lot of straight people think that if a gay person alludes, however obliquely, to being gay, they're "rubbing it in our faces."

Straight people allude to their own sexuality constantly, and they're not even aware they're doing it because to them, heterosexuality is neutral.

[romantico]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 11:55am

I think if this story is true Starbucks will release a statement and take action. Starbucks is VERY gay friendly and this does not sound like something they would tolerate(or any business for that matter)

I have witnessed employees at stores discussing things openly I feel is inappropriate but nothing I would call hateful.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 1:04pm

You must not have read her whole letter (and I can understand it, because it's way too long and rambles like you wouldn't believe) but it says on the page you linked to that Starbucks made an early response via twitter - @Starbucks: If you read a blog post about a NY store, we are concerned and are looking into it. We have a zero tolerance for discrimination of any kind

Updated On: 6/15/11 at 01:04 PM

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 1:19pm

Wait,
You read the letter and can't understand why the fact that she is a lesbian is relevant?
1. Reginald is right. Heterosexuals allude to their love life all the time even in small ways that are not picked up because it is the majority. Yet any time a member of the LGBTQ (RVDWSHJIKW?) community makes a reference, we are accused of "rubbing people's faces in it" and I despise that.
2. The fact that she is a lesbian is VERY relevant. She, a LESBIAN customer, was in the store and was present for an an employee being brought to tears, attacked and fired, essentially, for being gay. Even if he had committed another offense, clearly his sexually overtook the matter. Not ONLY was the employee being attacked through what what was being said, but SO were customers... including this Lesbian mom.

[romantico]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 1:24pm

No,I didn't read the letter but am glad Starbucks responded.

Broadwayguy2 makes some EXCELLENT points! Watching a guy and girl hold hands at the mall is often ignored. Two guys or girls holding hands will get some dirty looks or comments.Couple friends of mine were harassed at a theater by kids because he rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder for a minute or two.

The woman who witnessed this incident was gay so their conduct and anti gay comments are directed at her just as much as they are the employee.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 1:54pm

Uncaged. I'm not going to yell at you either. But your argument is a false one. My hetero office coworkers have pictures of their husbands, wives, girlfriends etc plastered all over the place. But I put a picture of me and my partner on my desk and all of the sudden I have "an agenda". Updated On: 6/15/11 at 01:54 PM

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 2:17pm

I didn't think of that, broadwayguy2 - I guess my initial sympathy lay with the employee, I didn't see the lesbian mom as a victim too...but you're right!

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 2:18pm

Let me try to explain what I meant...There are some gay people, I have worked with them, that make it a point to make it known that they are gay. Almost everything that they say ends up being gay related. There was a guy I worked with that had rainbow flags on his desk and he turned every conversation into something related to being gay. It annoyed me and others (and I am gay) but even after being told about this from both gay and straight people he continued. A lot of the conversations could have been held without reference to lifestyle. I think he even went to HR about it. I hope that kind of clears up what I was trying to say.

[morosco]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 2:37pm

Starbucks Responds To Alleged

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 4:05pm

I'm not following uncageg's logic. I'm annoyed daily by co-workers due to what they talk about...but there's nothing I can do about it, nor should there be. I dont want to hear alot of what people have to say, but I dont have the right to tell them they cant say it anymore, or they'll be fired.

Unless you are speaking in an inflammatory way, racist remarks, jokes about school shootings, etc, you certainly cannot be fired for it. I dont care what you think about what your coworker said.

It really upset you that he had rainbow flags on his desk?

I think my coworker's kid is ugly. I'm going to tell her I dont like the picture on her desk. Maybe I'll call HR.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 4:21pm

Unless the person is continually talking about buttf*cking or similar, I don't see how them bringing up being gay at every turn is cause for complaint. Sure, it may make them sound like a bore, but there's nothing inherently offensive about it, no more so than it's offensive just being gay. I'm not keen on the people who have their desks buried in Jesus paraphernalia, but if that's allowed to the point that I don't think most people realize just how inappropriate it really is, I don't see how someone can't be allowed to talk about being gay.
Updated On: 6/15/11 at 04:21 PM

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 4:47pm

Oh well, I tried. But I know what I mean.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 5:32pm

I don't get it either. You went to HR because of rainbow flags on his desk? Do you go to HR on other coworkers who have junk on their desk? What wrong with him being proud about who he is.
I also don't know what you mean about turning every conversation into something gay but, like others already said, unless he was giving explicit details about his sex life I don't see how it would warrent a trip to HR.
If anything it sounds like a case of internalized homophobia.

[paradox_error]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 7:27pm

When I was a manager at McDonald's I got reprimanded by my Store Manager for apparently constantly talking about gay sex in front of young employees. A parent had supposedly heard that his daughter had a gay manager and proceeded to complain.

I was completely shocked. I was very open about being gay, but never advertised nor once talked about anything remotely more than G-rated. The only references to gay sex in our store came from straight employees to me, not the other way round, but mostly in a kind of jovial way - not that it makes it any better. The other managers were VERY vulgar in their references to basically anything, especially sex, but were never once reprimanded.

I really got rather mad at my Store Manager, who was also a good friend, basically telling him he could shove it and if he had any interest in pursuing it I would be taking it straight to Head Office. Luckily the matter was dropped immediately, but it really made it clear how easy it was for me to get into trouble simply for being gay. Of course it didn't take long for it to come out that the father was a complete bigot and had referred to me as "that faggot". So charming.

I really sympathise with this poor kid. I have also been accused of pushing it in people's faces, having an agenda or being overtly political about being gay. It hurts that just going about your life is seen as a political act. Thank goodness Starbucks is behaving in such a responsible and fair manner.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 7:32pm

Erik, uncageg didn't go to HR. The guy with the rainbow flags went to HR. At least that's how I read it.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 7:38pm

Oops! My apologies then. I couldn't fathom why another gay person would go to HR about a raibow flag and talking about being gay.

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 7:54pm

Erik, It wasn't the official rainbow flag and I complained. (I jest!) Stockard is correct. He went to HR because and now that I am thinking about it, he ended up getting a warning.

I do not hide my orientation. Period. I am just saying that some people have to let people know it all the time. He wasn't "into" hetro talk. He didn't want to hear about their dates but he would describe his in "detail". God forbid you said you had angina at work. Some of the comments these people at Starbucks made about him made me think of this guy because, quite honestly, we at work would say some of the same things because it drove us crazy. Both straight and gay co-workers. Actually, the gay co-workers avoided him.

[singtopher]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 9:10pm

I think what Uncageg is/was trying to say is that there are some folks who constantly have a chip on their shoulder for no reason. An example of this is the lesbian chef on "Top Chef" who bitched and moaned about having to cook for a heterosexual couples wedding when she herself could not get married.

[uncageg]

Posted: 6/15/11 at 9:41pm

That's pretty much what I meant singtopher.