Male or female kitty?

[LaurenB]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 8:24pm

Some of you know that I recently lost my beloved cat of 15 years. It's only been a few weeks, and I still miss him so much. He was a Siamese, a constant talker, affectionate, and at times "a little stinker" in terms of his personality (meaning, I think he would sometimes do something that he knew I didn't want him to do, just to irritate me). I loved every bit of it, even his stinker moments. And he caterwauled all the time. I loved it. I suppose other people would be annoyed, but I truly loved every minute of it.

I have an opportunity to get another Siamese cat. I fell in love with the breed, and I feel I have to get another talker!

Here's my dilemma. Even when he was alive and well, I always thought that when the time came, I would get another male, because I was just so in love with him. I am visiting someone tomorrow who has a little female Siamese that is available. I hope to have the "next one" another 15 years or more, knock on wood, and I want to make sure that I make the right decision. (Whatever that means, LOL.)

So my question is ---- Should I get another male, or a female?

Yeah, I know, this is impossible to answer. :-/

I've never been around a female cat, so I know nothing of the differences. Also, are they are different health issues I should consider? Whatever I decide, male or female, the cat will be fixed.

I'll probably go with kennel in hand tomorrow. My friend is determined that I take the cat home with me, because she knows how low I've been. I'm not sure what to do. I've been really depressed, and I do want another kitty to hug and love.

I know that I don't expect to "replace" the cat that I lost, but I have to love the new one for all its own traits.

Just dunno what to do. :-/
Not sure if I should wait. Is it too soon, should I go with the female, or get another male. I know, this is impossible.

Thanks for listening. Now I have to read the other thread and find out what's happening with Nanny Tang...

[MrMidwest]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 8:28pm

I've always heard that male cats are usually more affectionate.

[Chloe]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 8:31pm

I've heard that too - that they like to snuggle more than female cats. I also think female cats bond better with men, and male cats with women. However, right now I have a male and a female, and feel equally close to them both.

[duroc]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 9:16pm

I think how affectionate a cat is depends less on the gender and more on the cat itself - every cat has his or her own personality. In terms of taking the female or not. It is really your choice. You want to make sure you're totally happy with your decision, given the length of the committment; yet, at the same time, I'm sure you'd fall in love w/ whatever cat you choose.

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 9:46pm

I have a male and two females, and I can't see any difference in playfulness/affection. The male is definitely grumpier than the other two, but he's also a full decade older.

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 10:02pm

i've only had male cats and they're all been sweethearts.
my friend has a female cat who is only affectionate when she's in heat and hides the rest of the time. another friend has a female cat that i take care of when she goes on vacation who is a total bitch and has dug her claws into me on more than one occation.
but most people i know have male cats so i've only been around a few female cats.
i say go to the shelter or breeder or where ever you're getting it from and see how each cat's personality fits with you.

[erikaamato]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 10:39pm

I had a neutered male cat for over 20 years, and he was a total love-bug. So, my completely unscientific opinon is for you to get another neutered male kitty. =)

P.S. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I think getting a new cat to love is a great idea. Updated On: 9/22/06 at 10:39 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 9/22/06 at 11:51pm

Neutered males tend to be the most affectionate. Females can often be a little bit "moody" and temperamental, sometimes shy or aggressive. Males, especially if neutered, are genreally very easygoing.

Best of luck to you!

[bunnywings]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 1:42am

I have one of each. I had my male cat for a year and a half before getting the female. He follows me everywhere, sits in the bathroom while I take a shower and I can play hide and seek with him, but he isn't a lap cat. He is a whiney gus and a talker.

The female cat is a total love bug. While she doesn't play like the male or follow me around, she's an attention whore. If I'm sitting on the sofa, she'll come up and stare at me for the longest time, begging for attention. She pushes her head into my hand and she'll lounge around on me. She doesn't talk as much as "her brother" though.

I think it just depends on the personality of the specific cat. Good luck with your decision.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 8:13am

My parents have a female cat that thinks she is a dog. So playful, likes for you to pick her up, and she LOVES to sit in your lap and let you pet her.

On the other hand, my mother-in-law has 3 female cats and they are like women having severe PMS.

[LaurenB]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 9:23am

Thanks everyone. I'm so torn. I am leaving soon to visit the kitty. I am taking my kennel with me, plus blanket and some other items. I can't hold back the tears, because all of this belonged to my beloved cat that passed away.

He was lovey dovey, never a biter. I don't expect to replace him, because I know they all have their own personalities. I just don't want to end up with one who has perpetual PMS and wants to be left alone, LOL. I want to smother him/her with kisses and hugs.

I am arming myself with lots of tissues too. I won't be online until late this evening, and will report back on the outcome. Wiping away tears...

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 10:03am

I think also that the cat developes on how you treat them while they grow up. I mean, my mother-in-law's cats were pretty much left alone to do their own thing and now they are VERY anti-social . . . while with my parent's cat, we always held her and played with her, etc. and that is how she grew up to be.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 11:20am

The favorite cat of my life was a female. She was my little loyal, independent, faithful companion. Not so much a lap cat, but she was there, with you, right beside you, an intelligent cat. She'd let me hold her in my lap for a while but then would seek her own spot. She liked it level, not where the weight of my body on the bed or couch would sink thearea beside me on an angle, so there'd be a little distance. I liked it that she had her own little sense of self.

Would stay right by me if I watched TV, and when I sent to bed she would always sleep at the head of my bed. Sometimes her son would sleep at the foot.

She had the sweetest temperament, a very good cat. Would not attack my pet mice nor would her son.

I have read/heard that a female cat will be sweeter if given the chance to have a litter of kittens (and maybe keep one). I think mine would have been sweet no matter what, I think it was personality. Her relationship with her son was adorable, they loved each other. They would romp chasing each other around the house, galloping in the middle of the night. They would play but he was always respectful toward her, would let her eat or drink first if there was only one bowl down. He was sweet and was my mother's lap cat, he was her favorite.

Tabby cats are noted for their sweet dispositions. If I were to pick out a kitten, I would probably just look for one that was very friendly and well-socialized. I might lean toward the female. If I could get a sister and brother of the same litter, that would be ideal because if they know each other like that there's no resentment between them and they are good companions to each other when they are alone.

[erikaamato]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 1:15pm

nom: I believe she is specifically looking for another Siamese. (Ergo, no tabby cats.)

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 1:32pm

I know, erika, just pointing out the sweet disposition of the Tabby in general.

We also had Siamese. One angelically sweet. One rather annoying.

[Chloe]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 2:33pm

My sweet female had a littler of kittens with her when we found her, so maybe that does make a difference. Good luck, Lauren, but if you don't feel ready for another cat yet that's very understandable.

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 2:43pm

I've had many, many, many, many cats pass through my homes as fosters. Both male and female. I've personally also owned two males and four females and worked with hundreds of others through work. The personalities vary more on the individual than the sex, especially if the cat is fixed. There can be some drastic personality difference between the sexes in intact cats, but a cat that is fixed young is less influenced by the biological drive issues.

Honestly, just go meet the kittens and get to know them. The sex doesn't matter.

[mejusthavingfun]

Posted: 9/23/06 at 4:35pm

Did you check out that animal guy that works for Martha Stewart? In my experience cats can go either way. I brought home a female once that was so friendly and like a month later she started hiding and all that. Goodluck, please rescue one if you can. Also spay or neuter as soon as it is possible. Come on down!

[LaurenB]

Posted: 9/24/06 at 4:51am

I'm a sap. Of course I took the female kitty. I have to quickly get in some work, while I have the kitten isolated in the kitchen. Will post pictures as soon as I can. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.

[LaurenB]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 5:13pm

Here's a pic of the female kitty. Of course, if you stick any four-legged furry creature in my arms, I'm taking it home, LOL. Thanks again for listening. She has taken my mind off of the emptiness I felt at losing the other one. I still miss him terribly, but as they say, I have another mouth to feed now, so life must carry on. And boy, is she a talker!

[erikaamato]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 5:16pm

Congratulations! She's a beauty. =)

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 5:16pm

Awww. :)

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 7:22pm

My parents only adopt rescued animals, so it's hard to judge their personalities because they are all "damaged goods" psychologically, but they have had three female cats over the years that had sparkling personalities and quite playful and fun. One female cat was completely antisocial, however. Not mean or moody. She just didn't like being touched. She wanted food and quiet and if she had neither, she retired to another room where she could find one or both. The only male cat I had was a terror. Absolute nightmare.

[Chloe]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 9:06pm

She's gorgeous, Lauren. I'm glad she turned out to be a talker.

[peach]

Posted: 9/27/06 at 2:27pm

Oh how cute! She's a beauty. What's her name?

And to echo the others - I've had both males and females and it depends more on the actual cat and breed than on the gender, if you have them fixed. I have 2 females now - and they are both attention-seeking lovebugs. One is bold, smashing her loud purring head into me all day. She also thinks she is a dog (we think she may have lived with dogs before we rescued her); she sits on command for treats and will give you a paw like a dog does.

The other is more mellow, but wants to be on your lap always, always, always. She is a big cuddler. My last male had the exact same personality as the mellow one.

I've found it's more the actual cat than the gender. Hope al is well with the new kitty!