My dog just died- Page 2
My dog just died
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#25re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:34pm
To anybody who has lost a pet recently, or ever, or loves their pets, or ever has, I simply can not recommend Mark Doty's book "Dog Years" highly enough.
It's funny and sad and moving and incredibly healing. And deals very well with the "hey it's 'just' a dog" issue.
The writer who said the book is "100% soul, 0% sentimentality" totally nailed it. I have given the book as gifts to people and everybody I have given it to has then bought copies to give. It's that great a work.
Pick it up at an independent bookseller, if possible!
Dog Years
#26re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:37pmThanks for the headsup, Namo.
#27re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:43pm
I'm so sorry, Winston and Snafu. 
Losing a pet is never easy.
I second the recommendation for Mark Doty's book. I was going through a stage of reading doggy memoirs a few weeks back, and he definitely captures the beauty and heartbreak of being a dog owner really well.
If I ever hear the words "just a dog" coming out of anyone's mouth, I'm going to hit them. I'd love to be the bigger person and pity them for their lack of knowledge of this most wonderful relationship, but you'd think even dog haters would be aware how much a dog means to its owner! I let "just a rat" slide, even though my heart was breaking, but if anyone I knew ever thought it appropriate to say "it's just a dog", well, that would be a person I would gladly choose not to know. XP
Updated On: 4/16/09 at 03:43 PM
#28re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:47pmI guess the book includes parrot owners? An imbecile on this board chimed in on my parrot dying thread last month saying "it's only a bird."
PiraguaGuy2
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/10/08
#29re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:48pmI think that was a sock, Janey. He seemed to have joined specifically to get pissed about your parrot.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#30re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:53pmThe book's for everybody, Jane. Dogs just happen to be the means with which Doty takes a look at the connections we make.
#31re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:54pm
Thanks so much Namo! I am ordering that book now. l luckily I have my little avatar, Dash, and his sister with me now. They too have been hit by old Foley's passing and have been going out of their way to try to raise my spirits!
It is amazing to see the emotional changes in the pack when an elder dies!
#32re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 3:55pm
Oh yeah, I think you're right, PG2. The idiot did join on that same day.
Thanks Namo.
Tom's Cat
Leading Actor Joined: 2/21/09
#33re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:07pm
I'm so sorry Winston and SNAFU. I know just how heartbreaking this can be.
And SNAFU - you didn't 'put down' your pup. You helped to lift him up. I heard that phrase from another pet lover who had to take her cat in. I've refused to use that other phrase since then!
#34re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:33pm
Tom's Cat , that is a great way to look at it. I held old Foley's head as they put in the catheter. He looked at me with sad but resigned eyes. I was always told I would know when it was time and I did.
I kissed him and whispered in his ear to take a nap, that he was a good boy and I loved him. He sighed and was gone. Gone too was the constant pain he was in.
#35re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:36pm
Snafu, I literally started crying at my desk after reading your last post. (And I don't mind that in the least.)
That was a beautiful and loving thing you did.
TheatreDiva90016
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/10/04
#36re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:41pm
I'm dorry for your loss.
And on that note, why didn't anyone tell me MARLEY AND ME was going to make me want to kill myself? I thought it was going to be a 'Happy Dog Saves Life of Child' kind of film...
Man...
Perfectly Marvelous
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/16/06
#37re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:47pm
^ That's exactly what happened with my friend and I when we saw it. I can't remember the last time I sobbed so much at the cinema.
I am very sorry for your loses, Winston and Snafu. It is incredibly hard to lose a pet especially if you had a special bond with them. A few years ago, my family had to put one of our cats to sleep (she had an incurable infection that had gone unnoticed because it disguised itself as diabetes). I decided to hold her as they put the needle in, because she was always there for me when I was ill. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.
"Yes, the brutalities of progress are called revolutions. When they are over, men recognize that the human race has been harshly treated but it has moved forward." - Les Miserables
#38re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:47pmCondolences to both of you.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#39re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:49pmYou should read Dog Years. Mark Doty happens to be an award-winning and gifted poet and he brings a lyricism and insight to the story of life and his dogs that Marley & Me couldn't even come close to. And his short piece on sentimentality will make you hate the M&Me movie in retrospect even more.
TheatreDiva90016
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/10/04
#40re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:50pm
" A few years ago, my family had to put one of cats to sleep. I decided to hold her as they put the needle in, because she was always there for me when I was ill."
God Damn It! Now I'm crying!
#41re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:52pmDidn't Paul Monette also write a book about his dog?
#42re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 4:57pm
Diva, that has to be the hardest thing to do on Earth. I can't imagine holding my pet as it dies in my arms. I'm crying too!
#43re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 5:00pmI'm so sorry, winston and Snafu. I've lost many a dog (one of which while I was in college and couldn't say goodbye, much like winston). I'm thinking of you both.
#44re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 5:09pmI feel particularly sad for Winston not being able to be there. Saying goodbye helps to bring a sense of closure. Be assured Winston, if he was helped across, it was quiet and peaceful. Hopefully the pain of the loss will be quick and the memories of the joy and happiness life long!
iflitifloat
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/10/03
#45re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/16/09 at 5:13pmLosing a pet friend just plain sucks. My sympathy to both of you.
winston89
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/18/06
#46re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/17/09 at 12:50am
What I am still angry about the most is that my family knew that for our dog Ollie, the end was coming up. My dad was talking about how he was against putting him down because he felt that it was wrong. Of course, that is what he ended up doing, putting him down. I fully understand why he did that etc. But, that still makes me angry as to why he did it in the first place.
The other thing is that my parents promised me that they would call me the second something happened. Like I said in my first post when I started this thread, I confused a text from my dad as one that was written yesterday rather then two days ago. I asked him about the dog and that was when he told me. I am angry because I was in the dark about this for a full day. I mean, I understood what he was saying but I am still angry that I was in the dark even for that amount of time.
#47re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/17/09 at 2:03am
Winston, don't be angry about your dad having to put down Ollie. There comes a time when a dog is so ill or aged that the quality of his or her life is so poor it is torture for the poor animal. It is never an easy decision but one that becomes very obvious. It is almost as if they ailing pet asks to be released. In the wild a dog will separate itself from the pack and crawl off somewhere to die when it is his time. Domesticated he cannot do that. We try hard to prolong the animal's life out of love for him but at a certain point it becomes a selfish act of arrogance on our part. Truly loving an animal is being able to let go at the right time.
You are angry for many reasons and that is OK, it is a part of grieving and will pass too. I am very sure it deeply affected your Dad and he himself is dealing with his own grief.
#48re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/17/09 at 11:33pmI am so sorry for you! I lost one in 2007 and one in 2008. Time is the only thing that can make those wounds better. Hang in there!
#49re: My dog just died
Posted: 4/18/09 at 11:56am
My deepest condolences to both Winston and Snafu
I lost my dog Guinness eleven years ago, when I was eight years old - and it still, to this day, remains the most painful experience I have ever endured.
?And if we are recommending books, might I recommend ?Dog Heaven? by Cynthia Rylant - ?My parents gave this book to me after the passing of Guinness - it?s a children's? book - but even on the worst days, it always managed to bring a smile to my face :)
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