Old people rock!- Page 2

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 5:03am

Mrs R & I offer our condolences

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 7:18am

Some of you know that my husband lost his brother to cancer last January. He had lived with Grandma Ida for 20 years, caring for her...and vice versa. When he died, at only 53, it was very hard for Grandma. My husband sat with her as she cried for days. Then, she said, "I'll get over it," and she did.

She survived cancer herself, plus the deaths of her husband, son and grandson. She was always there for everyone else. At her memorial service, one of her wonderful caregivers, who can't be more than 35, said, "People always thank me for what I did for Ida, but the truth is, she did WAY more for me than I did for her. She taught me so much, including how to keep going...no matter what."

[DG]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 7:27am

"She taught me so much"

What a concept. Imagine someone who's actually 'been there, done that' having anything to say, or advice to give!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 9:54am

Perhaps my favorite exchange between us was this one:

Grandma: "You are such a good wife and mother."

Me: "Oh, I don't know, Grandma. I'm not that great. I try."

Grandma: "I know you are a wonderful mother because you have the best children."

Me: "Oh, thanks, Grandma, but that's just the way they are."

Grandma: "And I know that you're a good wife because before he met you, my grandson was a jerk."

LOL!

[madbrian]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 10:03am

I have a couple of grandma stories. I may have shared them previously, but I love them.

Growing up, we lived in Queens and my maternal grandmother lived in the Bronx. My mother called her mother every day, and if she ever missed a day, my grandmother gave her hell. Once, when my grandmother was 88 years old and a widow, my mother called her morning, noon and night but got no answer. On the verge of panic, we drove to the Bronx and went to her apartment. By the time we got there, she was safe and sound at home. This happened on St. Patrick's Day, and she had gone out drinking with a couple of her friends!

My paternal grandmother spent her last few years in a nursing home in Upper Manhattan. She could see a little and hear a little, but she was virtually blind and deaf. However, this did not prevent her from sneaking out of the nursing home, crossing a busy Manhattan avenue by sticking out her hands and walking into traffic, and going to Carvel to get some ice cream!

[Calvin]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 10:37am

My Great Great Uncle Jno (that's how he spelled "John") died sometime in the late 1990s at the age of 108. He was an amazing -- an accurate use of that word, for once -- man. He still drove a car until he was about 100, when his daughters made him stop. He insisted on driving a few miles away to visit his wife, who lived to be about 100 herself and had to be put in a nursing home in her last years.

The last time I saw him was at my grandmother's funeral in 1997. Even though he had met me only two or three times my entire life, he not only knew who I was but nearly everything about what I was doing at the time. He kept a photo of everyone in his family on the refrigerator to say hello to them every morning. I wish I'd taken more time to talk to him on that day, but it had been a tough day, particularly for my mother, so I'd been keeping close to her.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 11:37am

Pennywise, you know our thoughts are with you.

All of my grandparents died when I was very young, so I had to rely on Bernie and Linda Helvick, older friends of my parents, and Neola Sommerville a wonderful woman who taught with my Mom.

Linda taught me it was ok to be wrong, and Bernie instilled in me a love of music and especially opera that lasts to this day.

Neola and I, when she was in her 80's mind you, would always go in her front yard and stomp on the snails the rains would bring. She took me under her wing and taught me many things.

All of them are gone now, but such wonderful memories exist.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 11:37am

Yikes, and of course Steve's mom Suzie, and her cousin Charlotte for reasons I've mentioned before.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 12:08pm

These stories tell me so much...not just about the "older" folks, but also about all of you who are posting. What a wonderful bunch of people you are!

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 12:42pm

Miss P, my thoughts are with you and CBC.

Those of you who know me know that my role model in life is my maternal grandfather. The man was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but he was a great man. Truly a great man. He dropped out of school in second grade when his father passed away to care for his family, everything he did, he always did thinking of his fellow man first. He was truly the kind of person that would give you the shirt off his back. He was in Congress (Costa Rica) three times, and was close friends with several presidents.

One of my first memories of him was when we had just moved back to Costa Rica, and we went to his house in the town where he was from. The entire family was there, everyone sitting at the table eating breakfast, with the president of the country sitting at one end, just part of the mess. One of the "campesinos" (farmers) came by to ask him for something, and my grandfather asked him if he had eaten breakfast... he had not, so my grandfather invited him for breakfast - barefoot, in his working clothes - to sit at the table with all of us and the president. That's the kind of person he was.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 11:36pm

DD, your grandfather sounds like he should have been president.

He certainly produced a remarkable grandson.

[DG]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 5:39am

"He certainly produced a remarkable grandson."

I agree.

[Kringas]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 9:57am

My condolances to you and your family. Thank you for sharing with us what a wonderful woman Ida was.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 10:34am

Pennywise, that picture needs to be framed and kept in a special place (in case it isn't already). That is one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen, and thank you for sharing it with us.

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 11:22am

Miss Penny,

I'm so sorry I'm late to this wonderful thread, and you have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your amazing Ida.

I've learned so much from many of the older people in my family and in this world. They're "living history." They can show us where we've been, help us see where we are now, and often advise us on how to approach the future.

My family's generations are pretty spread out. My mother was an only child (not for lack of trying). She was basically a "miracle baby" born to them when they were older in 1932. Her mother was 45 and her father was 56. I never knew my maternal grandfather. He died from tuberculosis and emphysema during my parent's honeymoon in 1959. I wasn't born until three years later. I was closest to my maternal grandmother (we called her "Meema.") She led a fascinating life... she'd been married once before my grandfather, and moved out to Hollywood in the 1920s. She baked terrific cakes and started a catering service that became quite popular out here. She made the birthday cakes for Charlie Chaplin, Clara Bow, Tom Mix and many others. When her first husband became ill with cancer, she sold her business, recipes, and her name ("Mary Carter Cakes") and moved to Arizona briefly with her ailing husband until he passed away. Then, she moved back to Kansas again after that, and started over. Earlier, during World War I, she ran a secretarial pool in Topeka (the state capital), and after she moved back home, she opened her own antique store and gift shop in Lawrence, at the Eldridge Hotel (the place Quantrill and his men burned to the ground during the infamous 1863 raid). She married my grandfather, who was a civil engineer who'd worked on local projects with Harry Truman, and he became the city manager of Independence, Kansas, and later Lawrence, Kansas. After years of trying they had my mother (an only child). I was fortunate enough to know my grandmother, this wonderful lady, for the first 15 years of my life, before she passed away.

My father's parents both immigrated from Russia. My grandfather was seven years old back in 1905, when he and his family escaped the wrath of the Cossacks in the small village of Vitipsk (the painter Chagall was born there as well!). He arrived at Ellis Island not knowing a word of English. His Russian first name "Schmuel" was changed to Samuel upon arrival. His family had $1.50 to their name, and moved to the lower east side of Manhattan, where they had a push cart and sold spoons of ice cream for a living. My grandfather went to work as a young teenager for a coffin maker and learned bookkeeping there. He also learned to play piano, and accompanied the local nickelodeons for silent movies. He loved the movie business, and when he met up with a group of brothers playing cards in New York who were anxious to form their own movie studio, he signed on to be their "bookkeeper" and chief accountant.

Their last name was Warner. Jack, Albert, Harry and Sam. So my grandfather eventually became their Executive VP and Treasurer, sat on the Board of Directors, and ran the New York "money" office of Warner Bros. studios for the next 30-plus years. Early on, he fell in love with his secretary and married her. She was my grandmother, and they were together for over 50 years. My father grew up in a mansion-sized house that is now a private school in New Rochelle. He didn't have good childhood, though, because his parents were always away (either in Hollywood or overseas, since my grandfather was in charge of all European distribution for the studio as well). My dad was raised by the servants in the house, and had a strained relationship with his parents.

When I was growing up in Kansas, these grandparents would come visit us once a year. They were the "glamorous grandparents from the East." My grandfather went by a nickname that he'd picked up as a child out of a comic book that he and his pals read, so everyone (including me) called him "Chip" and my grandmother was "Evelyn" (never "grandma"). I adored them. I think because they had been so busy trying to prove themselves in life, and make a real success of it, they realized how much they'd neglected their children. They tried very hard to make it up to their grandkids, so for me, we were very close. I learned to say the only words my grandfather could teach me in Russian. It was his old address from Vitipsk in Russia. His family had spoken "English only" from the moment they reached the New World, so he didn't remember anything more. He also taught me to play Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag on the piano. It was so cool to think of him playing for the movies in turn-of-the-century NYC, when he was a young boy. I think I got my love of the piano from him.

When he passed away, when I was 18 (at the end of my senior year in high school), I received a small package in the mail a few weeks later from my grandmother. It was Chip's gold watch that he always wore. A retirement gift from Jack Warner to show appreciation for his years in the business. My grandfather had willed his precious watch to me. And to this day, it's the only watch I wear.

Unfortunately my grandfather died before I had a chance to ask him too much. At 18, I never got past the surface questions of "did you know so-and-so?" or "what was it like to work on blah-blah?" Considering my love of classic movies now, it's a shame I couldn't have had more conversations with him about it. My father (not being close to his parents), didn't have much to tell me about them, either. I did ask Chip and Evelyn about a few of their friends. My grandmother was very close with Joan Crawford, and I have several photos on my wall now of the two of them together. My grandfather's last film at Warner Bros. was "A Star Is Born" (1955). My grandparents then traveled to Europe via ocean liner after filming completed with the Lufts (Sid and Judy). They stayed at the same hotel, and Judy would only go out on the beach at night with them, because she was so self-conscious about her weight. My aunt, who was about 16 at the time, looked after young Liza on the crossing.

I knew my grandfather as this "nice, funny, generous" man. I never got too far into figuring out the movie executive or the struggling immigrant who made good. I wish I had. But I think about him and my sophisticated, loving grandmother ("Evelyn") all the time. They're a part of me.

Updated On: 8/16/07 at 11:22 AM

[StageManager2]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 11:54am

Wow, b12b. Your grandparents were born in the 1800s, and your maternal grandfather was already a grown man at the turn of the 20th century. I have a fascination with the years 1900-1910. It's little wonder OUR TOWN is my favorite play (hence my screen name).

Updated On: 8/15/07 at 11:54 AM

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 12:04pm

You know, I never thought to ask... but I LOVE that this is where you got your screen name!

It's my favorite (straight) play too, BTW.

My paternal grandfather was born in 1898. He was 7 when they came over from Russia in 1905.

My maternal grandmother was born in 1895. She graduated from high school (the same one I attended nearly 70 years later) the year the Titanic sank.

My maternal grandfather (who I never knew) was born in 1884.

I have some really cool photos of them. I should try to find them and scan them, while I sit here an convalesce!

Updated On: 8/15/07 at 12:04 PM

[StageManager2]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 12:13pm

Can't wait!

ETA: Not to split hairs, but if your maternal grandparents were 45 and 56 in 1932 when your mom was born, wouldn't their birth dates have been 1887 and 1876, respectively?

Updated On: 8/15/07 at 12:13 PM

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 12:53pm

You know... I'll have to ask my mom about that (if she can remember), because the dates aren't adding up. We can assume their ages at the time of her birth are not right, because I do know the years they were born (for sure).

That would make her 37 and him 48 at the time of my mother's birth. (Still pretty old for the 1930s.)

Updated On: 8/15/07 at 12:53 PM

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 1:35pm

Here's some pics. It's been kinda fun and bittersweet digging these up, and I hope you don't mind me sharing them.

BELOW: My maternal grandmother "Meema" and me in her backyard in Kansas, around 1965...





BELOW: My paternal "glamorous" grandparents Chip and Evelyn, arriving for a visit at the Kansas City Airport (c. 1968 )... and me making some "muggy" face. I love Evelyn's "do" and her sunglasses she's holding onto. They were so elegant to me whenever they swept into our "black and white" Kansas world.





BELOW: My maternal grandfather and his entire family. This was taken on New Year's Day in 1895. He's the boy in the front and left. His sister Jo is sitting behind him further to the left, next to their grandfather (my great-great grandfather George, born in 1829). Jo married F.O. Marvin who was a founding professor at the University of Kansas, and Marvin Hall stands there now, named in his honor. Behind Jo is Charles Dunlap (born 1859) and his wife (my grandfather's older sister Anna). Anna (or "Annie" as they called her) is the one with the glasses and the Dairy Queen hairdo. She was an incredibly cool woman, from what everyone said about her. My mother is named after these two aunts "Jo" and "Anna." Next to Anna on the right is her brother (my great-grandfather Frank, born in 1854). In front of Frank is my grandfather's youngest sister Lucie (who died when she was only 16). Next to her is my great-great grandmother Helena (also born in 1829). And on the far right of the photo is my great grandmother Lena, Frank's wife. She was born in 1858, and her maiden name is Miles (which is my middle name).





And finally, this is kind of a cool one (if you'll indulge me further)...



ABOVE: This is four generations of the Miles family (my middle name!). This was taken around 1887 or 1888. My grandfather George is the little tyke up front. His mother Lena is standing behind him. Her father Col. John De Bras Miles is on the left. He was the brother of Gen. Nelson Miles, who was a big part of the "wild west" battles. He went in to negotiate with the Native Americans not long before Custer undermined those efforts and was ordered to massacre them. Gen. Nelson Miles played a big part in trying to work things out with the Indians (if you watch the Ken Burns mini-series "The West" you'll see him in it quite a bit). He took over (what was left of) the 7th Cavalry, after Custer was killed. He was my great-great-great uncle, and my (middle) namesake. And seated on the right is Nelson and John's mother, my great-great grandmother Susannah De Bra Miles. In addition to being the mother of two Northern army officers, she was a founding member of the Quakers in the state of Kansas (as if you couldn't tell by the way she's dressed!).

Updated On: 8/15/07 at 01:35 PM

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 1:46pm

My maternal grandmother will be 96 yrs. old tomorrow. She's the one who said to me one day..."I hope you're not doing piggy things with other men"...of course I informed her that I was only doing piggy things with 1 man.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 1:49pm

Thanks for sharing, b12b. You were one cute kid! I sometimes wish I could go back to that era, but only if I remained male... and were white... and well-off.

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 2:04pm

LOL!

Well, we weren't well-off in Kansas, but we did okay with my dad making his educational films whenever he could while taking a KU security job to pay the bills... and my mom teaching 5th grade and hosting local cable children's shows. I only vaguely remember the "mansion" in New Rochelle during a Thanksgiving visit, since my grandparents sold it when I was 7 or 8. It was a bit like Tara, though, and my only brush with the well-to-do. Pretty incredible for me, as a young kid trying to understand it all.... and SO not a part of my regular life... only peripherally and from a good solid distance.

Miss Penny, this thread is great. I'll bet I'm not alone in saying that I don't get much of a chance to "show and tell" about my family history. If we don't talk about it and share it, it's just going to fade away. I think it's important. Not just from a personal history standpoint, but to be able to tangibly connect to the past and all that came before us as human beings.

That's a pretty cool thing. And we should value it and keep it alive. I learned to think this way from my mother. She was the one who told me the stories and showed me the photographs. She let me know I was a part of this "much bigger picture" in the world. That was an invaluable gift she gave me.

I think I'll give her a call right now and see how she's doing.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 2:28pm

Miss Pennywise, I'm so sorry to hear that.

My grandmother passed away at age 105 in 2000. Although she was in a nursing home, she was fairly lucid as well. It was at her funeral that I learned so much about her, that I in turn learned how I got some of my traits (love of baking, cooking).

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/15/07 at 2:36pm

best, those are fabulous!