Open Relationships... — Page 3

No... most of teh conversation was about open relationships and if we liked them or not. Along with relationship comes sex. Sex is chit chat.

I know a couple in their early 40s who have been together well over a decade. The share a business together out of their home. They do fun things together. They are intimate with each other. They have all the things one needs to make for a successful marriage.

And they are open. They believe that they have removed all of the jealousy out of the relationship--and they have. They are very happy, and they even have sex with each other almost everyday.

Will that work for everyone--no. But, I believe that if it truly works for two people, there is no need to judge or belittle their relationship. They are immensely happy.

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open relationships are fine...IF

1. the relationship is stable, loving, and healthy
2. boundaries are created and respected
3. both parties agree to whatever rules are set up
4. All "play" is safe

My partner and I have an open relationship, and we have had NO problems with it. I have only "strayed" twice in seven years since we've been together.
We both have sexual needs that neither are into, and we both feel no need to refuse each other that pleasure.

We are comitted to each other for the rest of our lives, and part of that committment is that we do not feel the need to deny each other needs one may have, but not the other.

just my two cents

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Wow Elphaba - an open LESBIAN relationship with no jealousy or insanity?? Now I HAVE heard everything!

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^^ And even with celebrities, right Bobby?

hehe...of course!

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I only have an open relationship with my wife...I can sleep with all the men I want, but no other woman.

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Rath, that one is too easy, I'm not going to be the one to take the bait

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What Namo and Elphaba said. And children, REMEMBER what they say. Years from now, when you are ready to walk away from a good relationship, you will apppreciate their wisdom.

A very wise man once told me: It's not about male vs. female, gay vs. straight, tops vs. bottoms. It's about lions and birds.

Lions need to roam. Birds need to nest. If two birds get together, they will nest and be happy. If two lions get together, they will roam and be happy.

But if a bird and a lion get together, and the bird tries to change the lion or the lion doesn't care about the bird's feelings, they better get some couple's counseling.

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I had an open relationship for four years. It was fine in the beginning, but it turned VERY sour towards the end of the relationship. I have been in a monogonous relationship for 12 years (dated six, married six). I can never imagine being in an open relationship again. Then again, I don't plan on getting divorced, so my current relationship is for life.

Chazds, I don't know that that's a cut-and-dry rule.

I think that an open relationship has the POTENTIAL to be/do all of what you said, but that doesn't mean that it automatically WILL do/be all of that.

I couldn't make an open relationship work. I'm a bird, as PJ said, and I'm with another bird and we are very happy in our nest. There are some things, sexually, that he's interested in that I'm not, but all in all, monogamy is too important to us to let others climb into our bed just to fulfill those needs.

However, that's just *us.*

If you've got the communication and trust to a point where they're open and honest enough to allow for an open relationship, then you've got a healthier relationship than most folks out there! (there = the vast wide world) My feelings in such a situation would be, "why risk messing it up?" But then again, life is about taking risks. You may try being open and hate it, you may try it and love it, there's a lot of possibilities. I won't pretend to understand the dynamics between two gay men. I'm a straight gal all the way, and therefore never WILL understand, just because I can't. Comes with the ovaries.

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Monogamy is unrealistic for attractive gay men. How do i know? Because if you live in the tri-state area, chances are i've slept with your man. We shouldn't try to live by heterosexual rules, especially since they can barely live by them.
Now, if this explains why i'm still single, with a 40 yr. old ass you could STILL bounce a quarter off of, so be it.

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Updated On: 5/26/05 at 05:47 PM