Open Relationships...

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:04pm

Your thoughts please.

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:05pm

Open relationships are about as fool-proof as long distance relationships.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:06pm

How open?

- We can **** other people open?
- You can **** other people, if I'm there, open?
- You have to tell me if you want to **** other people, open?
- We're just dating, so I have no monogamy requirement, open?

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:09pm

Open, as in **** who you want as long as you tell me about it.

[Jwei123]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:10pm

I think they are REALLY shady, and not healthy...

[ckeaton]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:11pm

Depends on the confidence of both parties in the primary relationship, the communication to all three individuals, and the safety.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:12pm

That's where I'm leaning Jwei

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:13pm

Yeah, it was discussed but I don't think I want it to happen.

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:13pm

There's so much unforseen potential for hurt feelings, insecurities and jealousies to creep in. I wouldn't tell anyone what to do; I would just tread very, VERY carefully.

[Jwei123]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:14pm

Yeah...I wouldn't be a fan because jealousy could result, not to mention fights, etc.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:15pm

Yeah...It's an appealing idea, but I think the thought of my bf being with someone else makes me a little sick to my stomach.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:15pm

It's all about your personal boundaries and what a) you can deal with, and b) expect your partner to deal with.

I, for one, could NEVER be in an open relationship. As much as I'd want to trust my partner, I could never deal with the idea of them with someone else. BUT, that said, I know of a few couples that are totally ok with it and have been together for a long period of time. It's just not for me, and my partner would have to agree with me. BUT if that's what works for you, the more power to you. You and I will never date. (you meaning the generic 'whoever you are' you)

[broadwayalto01]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:17pm

Open is better

[CJR]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:19pm

Broadwayalto01, I think you need to start thinking about what I said in your other thread -- quality, not quantity.

That being said, I think open relationships are a HUGE mistake. Im sure they could work for some people, but they've always been disasterous for me.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:23pm

BobbyB... my advice is to look into your heart and be honest with yourself. IF you have ANY issues with it, being in an open relationship because that's what your bf wants but you don't, but you're afraid of loosing him if you don't agree (this is a hypothetical...) or whatever, don't do it. It would be a huge mistake and only play with your self-confidence. If I was in your shoes, and my bf wanted to have an open relationship, or else... I'd be single so fast!

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:23pm

You're either in a relationship, or you're not. The majority of people cannot handle open relationships - they bring up all sorts of unhealthy issues.

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:25pm

I've been the other guy once, but when I started having feelings for the guy, I got hurt because I was just a fling. I'm not gonna do it again though.

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:30pm

What's the motivation for your wanting an open relationship?



(What's your *Motivation*... geez... *I* haven't been to too many acting classes!!!)

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:31pm

C_O, I was actually the third wheel in a relationship for about 6 months when I was much younger... it too stopped because one of the guys and I started getting interested in each other.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:33pm

We've been together 2 years. We are completely committed and probably, as far as I know, be together a long time. That said, there are some sexual tastes that both of us have that the other may not necessarily be able to, or more specifically want to fulfill.

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:36pm

Not to have the focus of the relationship on sex, but if the guy you're with isnt' pleasing you, then find someone who does and stick with it.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:37pm

Compromise... that's all part of being in a relationship.

Again, if I was you, (not saying this is what you should do) I'd see how important it is for me to satisfy those tastes.

During my one long term relationship (11 years), we both made compromises. Things we didn't do... and things we did. It's a give and take. And one of those things one gives up in a relationship is the thrill of the "first time", of "someone new". And sometimes it might mean experimentation... trying something you never thought you would WITH YOUR PARTNER. You might enjoy it.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:39pm

DayDreamer, I like you more with every post.

[Albin]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:40pm

open relationships are for those too immature to be in a monogamous relationship and are trying to put a positive spin on things.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 5/25/05 at 5:40pm

I don't think breaking up with my bf because we have some slightly different sexual needs is the answer.

We are souldmates, we are like a machine, we just get each other.

He's a total top, I'm vers. There I said it, I can't believe I just typed that!

I'm not going to make him take it, just to satisfy me.