Roscoe, I have to say that when I first saw the movie, I felt exactly as you do. Maybe even to a greater degree. I was less forgiving of "I" and her inability to grow a backbone. The only way she finds any strength is in her love for Maxim. And she is "powerless" to that love, just like she's powerless to everything else. She thinks if he likes something, then her opinion is of no importance.
I seriously wanted to strangle her after the costume prank.
But as the years have gone on, I've actually grown in the opposite direction than you and become more forgiving of "I" and her weaknesses and her (one true) strength of love.
The problem with the story is that once she finds out that Maxim hated Rebecca and that they both want Danvers out of Manderley, it's too late for "I" to show that strength. They drive back toward the mansion only to find it engulfed in flames. It's already "game over," and they win.
I wish "I" would have had more of a chance in the plot to show her inner strength. She has the one brief scene where Maxim crumbles in her arms and she rises to the occasion and reassures him (rather forcefully) that they will get through this together.
Then they jump in the car and race off. Manderley burns. The end.
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22