Roseanne quotes.........

Not so much quotes as moments...

At the Spelling Bee - 'It may be spelling but it's all we've got.'

At the gay wedding when Roseanne couldn't find two male figures to dress the top of the cake 'so I got these two Pocahontas action figures.'

Halloween -
Roseanne: Fred is gay
Dan: Fred's not gay
Roseanne: He's the gayest. He is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

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Updated On: 2/2/06 at 05:39 PM

My favorite Roseanne quotes would take up more than the available bandwith for this site.

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This one is incomplete on Beverly's part because I can't remember it all, but is was kinda like this!

Roseanne: "Mom, Nancy and Marla are 'Lesbians'"

Beverly: "Well ofcouse they are. I'm a Lesbian, You're a Lesbian. We're all Lesbians! You've got to get up pretty early to get one past me Roseanne!"

Oh and if someone remembers it, I LOVE the quote that Roseanne tells Jackie about "a dream that Every Mother has."

Something about loosing your baby, and then she says "and you just fly away!"

Don't remember the lead-in exactly, but it's when their finances are on the rocks (I think they took out another mortgage on the house or something) and Dan says, "We're screwed." Rosanne says, "..we are so far beyond screwed that the light from screwed would take three billion years to reach this couch."

Once again, I haven't got it exact, but it's the BEST line EVER, anywhere!


Thank you, Nick@Nite, for running a groundbreaking classic like this. Did that show ever win an Emmy - or Rosanne herself in that role? For the longest time they were ignored. This is why I hate Hollywood.

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Updated On: 2/2/06 at 07:56 PM

To Whom it Concerns
by Darlene Conner

To Whom it Concerns, Darlene's work will be late.
It Fell in her pancakes and stuck to her plate.

To Whom it Concerns, my mom made me write this,
and i'm just a kid so how can I fight this.

To Whom it Concerns, I lost my assignment
Maybe I will get lucky - solitary confinement.

To Whom it Concerns, Darlene's great with a ball
but guys don't watch tomboys when they're cruising the hall.

To Whom it Concerns, I just turned thirteen
too short to be quarterback, too plain to be queen.

To Whom it Concerns, I am not made of steel
when I get blindsided, my pain is quite real.

I don't mean to squawk but it just really burns
just thought I would mention it - To Whom it Concerns.

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diddo, Rath. I love that show.

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Updated On: 2/2/06 at 08:36 PM

I have to admit, I hardly ever watch Roseanne, but I thought this was a good place to share this interesting tidbit - Laurie Metcalf, the actress that played Jackie, went to my high school. I believe she went to school with our drama teacher.

Just an interesting fact.

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Roseanne : Darlene, Nancy's gay.

Darlene : Oh wow, Mom did she tell you?

Roseanne : NO Darlene we saw the 'I'm a big ole' dyke' bumper sticker on the back of her car!

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Did that show ever win an Emmy - or Rosanne herself in that role?

I don't know if the show itself ever won Best Series, but Laurie Metcalf won several, John Goodman was nominated most years the show was on, and Roseanne won at least once (and was nominated a few times).

It took them a season or two to get there (and that last season was just unfortunate), but at its peak, it was the best show on TV.

Roseanne won in '93.

“Birth control that really works: Every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.”
“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”

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