#1
Posted: 6/15/04 at 10:20am
I've noticed on several threads that there is a revolution brewing. Before our board is left smoldering and pock-marked after the battle is through, the scientist in me wants to attempt to classify the players for posterity. Feel free to add your own.
Oldies: Characterized by a group of individuals who migrated to BWW.com from the now defunct broadway.com message boards, these individuals cherish their seniority. Many can be broken down in to the latter categories, though true oldies reject classification. Oldies remain quiet on issues pertaining to the 2003-2004 theatre season, only piping up occasionally to grouse about the declining quality of the art. Most oldies remain quiet until provoked... 'Go away!'
Newbies: Welcomed to the fold in the recent months, newbies have joined the board looking to meet folks who share similar interests. They tend to post their opinions on just about everything, because they enjoy the public consumption of their thoughts. The majority of newbies have established high profile personas, and are frequent contributors to the board. Many newbies hope to be classified as cynics and/or sex nuts in the future, and are making great strides in that direction... 'You people have no lives... by the way do you shave?'
Crankies: Posters of indeterminant longevity, who hate everybody and everything. often seen lurking in the shadows until given the opportunity to lash out. Nothing is ever good enough, and no one is ever eloquent enough for the crankies. Crankies read just about every post on the board, commenting on only the ones that irk them enough to make the effort... 'You illiterate hack. You obviously don't get the intent.'
Cynics: 'It's crap...' So goes the cynical mantra, often the rallying cry of the embittered. Cynics are the predators of the newbies. Doe-eyed new posters wander into deep waters, and are crushed in the cynic's jaws. Cynics use sarcasm to prove that they are knowledgable and poised. Often cynics are evolved newbies, having once been the prey of a cynical oldie.
Politboro: These individuals love the foggy depths of the off-topic board. They very rarely venture to the "fluffy" main board, for fear of illness brought on by a sudden spike in blood sugar. The politboro is most content arguing politics and morality. There are a few leaders of the politboro who wield their golden keyboards with pride... ' < insert politician's name here > sucks, oh yeah... theatre is cool though.'
Sex nuts: This list totally turns me on...' The sex nuts are already excited that the word 'nuts' has been included in their classification. These posters have an uncanny ability to turn any thread into borderline cybersex. Their natural enemy is the Editor, who has the God-like ability to make their sordid past disappear. You are totally hot, do you shave or wax... ooh nothing at all...mmm nice, do you... What were we saying? Oh lists... yeah.
Wicked_Cakes, ChenoItes, and MenzelFans: Migratory posters. Much like locusts, they temporarily inhabit the boards chewing up bandwidth and multiplying, while bringing disease and pestulance to the board environment. They are often the prey of all of the above. Their only armour is righteous indignation and grade school snarks. 'You're dumb, WICKED ROCKS!!!'
Then there's the jets, sharks, and Eddie Varley.
Oldies: Characterized by a group of individuals who migrated to BWW.com from the now defunct broadway.com message boards, these individuals cherish their seniority. Many can be broken down in to the latter categories, though true oldies reject classification. Oldies remain quiet on issues pertaining to the 2003-2004 theatre season, only piping up occasionally to grouse about the declining quality of the art. Most oldies remain quiet until provoked... 'Go away!'
Newbies: Welcomed to the fold in the recent months, newbies have joined the board looking to meet folks who share similar interests. They tend to post their opinions on just about everything, because they enjoy the public consumption of their thoughts. The majority of newbies have established high profile personas, and are frequent contributors to the board. Many newbies hope to be classified as cynics and/or sex nuts in the future, and are making great strides in that direction... 'You people have no lives... by the way do you shave?'
Crankies: Posters of indeterminant longevity, who hate everybody and everything. often seen lurking in the shadows until given the opportunity to lash out. Nothing is ever good enough, and no one is ever eloquent enough for the crankies. Crankies read just about every post on the board, commenting on only the ones that irk them enough to make the effort... 'You illiterate hack. You obviously don't get the intent.'
Cynics: 'It's crap...' So goes the cynical mantra, often the rallying cry of the embittered. Cynics are the predators of the newbies. Doe-eyed new posters wander into deep waters, and are crushed in the cynic's jaws. Cynics use sarcasm to prove that they are knowledgable and poised. Often cynics are evolved newbies, having once been the prey of a cynical oldie.
Politboro: These individuals love the foggy depths of the off-topic board. They very rarely venture to the "fluffy" main board, for fear of illness brought on by a sudden spike in blood sugar. The politboro is most content arguing politics and morality. There are a few leaders of the politboro who wield their golden keyboards with pride... ' < insert politician's name here > sucks, oh yeah... theatre is cool though.'
Sex nuts: This list totally turns me on...' The sex nuts are already excited that the word 'nuts' has been included in their classification. These posters have an uncanny ability to turn any thread into borderline cybersex. Their natural enemy is the Editor, who has the God-like ability to make their sordid past disappear. You are totally hot, do you shave or wax... ooh nothing at all...mmm nice, do you... What were we saying? Oh lists... yeah.
Wicked_Cakes, ChenoItes, and MenzelFans: Migratory posters. Much like locusts, they temporarily inhabit the boards chewing up bandwidth and multiplying, while bringing disease and pestulance to the board environment. They are often the prey of all of the above. Their only armour is righteous indignation and grade school snarks. 'You're dumb, WICKED ROCKS!!!'
Then there's the jets, sharks, and Eddie Varley.
Hamlet's father.
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