Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#1
Posted: 1/12/13 at 8:27pm
I think my roommate has turned into an alcoholic. I find bottles hidden in the apartment and I see him carry bags of them into his room and come out a minute later empty handed. He'll be fine and then I go to walk the dog and 30 minutes later, I come home and he's wasted, or "just really tired" as he puts it.
He's not the most open person in the world so saying "I think you might have a problem" would just result in him telling me that I'm being stupid or he has no idea what I'm talking about and would just result in a big fight. I've never dealt with anything like this before but it's gone from something he would do every once in a while to a daily thing and I'm extremely worried.
Has anyone dealt with anything like this before?
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#2
Posted: 1/12/13 at 10:04pmWell, if this is actually a serious Q: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=1
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#2
Posted: 1/12/13 at 10:19pmJordan, do you smell alcohol on him? He would have to consume quite a bit, to be wasted, after only thirty minutes. Are you sure its not another vice?
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#3
Posted: 1/12/13 at 10:33pm
Actually Artman, an alcoholic can become wasted after one or two drinks, at other times they can drink forever and not show any effects, The way an alcoholics body processes booze sometimes defies logic. Believe me, I know first hand.
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#4
Posted: 1/13/13 at 12:01amJordan, you need to remove yourself.
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#5
Posted: 1/13/13 at 2:50am
If he continues and you don't disengage you will go insane. I promise.
This might sound selfish, but you MUST protect yourself. The energy around someone who is using or drinking - even if they keep up with their share of the rent - is life draining and crazy making.
I know you care, but there isn't much you can do if he isn't open to exploring whether he has a problem or not. Sometimes you have to let people hit the bottom. I know that is hard to accept.
Monitor his behavior, safe guard your possessions, and develop new roommate contingency plans should the situation worsen.
Does he have family you can discreetly go to? If so, you may want to share your concerns. Telling them about Al-Anon might help too. Al-Anon is fellowship of friends and family of problem drinkers. You may consider going to a meeting yourself to ask for advice. I'm sure there is gay Al-Anon in New York.
Hope that helps.
Al-Anon websites:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/home
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/how-can-i-help-my-problem-drinker-quit-drinking
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#6
Posted: 1/15/13 at 8:12am
Unless you're in love with yoor roomie....I'd bring it up and see how the reaction is. If it's off the wall, red flag. As already pointed out...Al-Anon can help you in your relationship if he's a 'keeper'.
My partner and I have been together 35 years, and it was me who was the alcoholic for decades. Now sober 9 years, I can't begin to make up to him all that I put him through.
God Bless!
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
Serious Question About Living With An Alcoholic#7
Posted: 1/15/13 at 8:43pm
Sounds like he might be cross addicted.
If you need further proof, buy a full bottle of mouthwash and leave it out in the open in the bathroom. If it's empty the next day, there's your proof. If it isn't empty, taste and see if it's been diluted.
I lived with an alcoholic for a while. I know.
I repeat what others have said, get out now!
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