Student Loans - What's Your Story? — Page 3

$20,000 a year for in state tuition? Damn. You guys need to move to California. My state college's tuition is nothing to complain about, but even UC schools (Berkeley, Santa Cruz, LA etc) with tuition hikes, are still less than $4000.

Anyway! Right back at you CJR, x 1000. I'm lucky because I have no dependents, I might have been a bit more bitter if I had a mom and a little brother to completely support. You're really inspiring and I think you're definitely the all time winner in this thread. :p Go you.

Capn, you're a nice guy and I think if anyone deserves to have a rant day here, it's you (you've been a member here for 5 years!). It's true, you did just ask for personal stories, but with personal stories is going to come comments and advice, and that's a given...And I'm sure you do have a lot of sympathies going out for you right now (at least from me you do) because of your difficult situation, but I think you can totally take these responses, even the ones that are hating on you at the moment, and use them to your advantage. I think they can all be constructive if you want them to be. Sometimes I don't realize how retarded I am being about something until someone slaps me in the face, kicks my ass, and tells me to shut the f__k up, you know what I mean? It puts things in perspective and makes me see what *needs* to happen in order for whatever it is to be fixed. I'm not saying you're being retarded, but there are a lot of obvious things you could be changing right now. Go to your school's financial aid people, speak to a counselor or someone to see what kind of help is available to you (each year millions of gov't dollars that are set aside to help students are never even tapped into), get a new job and maybe instead of splitting up your time with three different jobs, find somewhere that will hire full time. Your pay will be slightly better and at least you'll get some benefits. And lastly, don't wait until next month to learn how to drive. Do it now. Like literally, right now. You won't crash into a wall or die on the freeway if someone besides your special friend goes with you, I promise. When you start to make things happen *now* instead of *tomorrow*, even if it's something small, you'll be amazed at how empowered you'll feel.

This is not about the "system." This is about your perception and attitude.

My family was well-off when I was growing up. My older brother went to the best schools (from elementary school to law school), studied abroad, lived in nice apartments...all on Mommy and Daddy's money.

By the time I was ready for college, my father's business suffered a huge setback and there was, basically, nothing for me. I took out student loans, worked, competed for scholarships and so forth. I got my MA and worked on my Ph.D. for a while...all on my own. I moved out of my parents' house when I was 19 and have always supported myself.

My parents were also unable to provide financial support for my younger brother's college education (although both he and my older brother lived with my parent--rent-free-- until they were in their 30s!!). He worked, took out loans, blah, blah, blah.

Where are they now?

My older brother is completely f***ed up. He's a self-centered, irresponsible, arrogant loser who expects everyone to do what he wants. Even though he's an attorney, he never has any money (primarily because he spends it on ski trips with his buddies). Even though he has sired two children, he barely participates in raising them. Even though he has more degrees than god, he makes horrible choices, exercises extremely poor judgment and has no common sense. He's also WEIRD.

My younger brother has had a chip on his shoulder ever since he had to pay for his own college education. He's very angry and has never been able to get over the fact that my parents didn't provide for him in this regard.

Me? I am the breadwinner in my family. My husband is disabled so he cannot work. I have a child with cerebral palsy who requires treatment, evaluation, therapy and an education that is more expensive than every college mentioned thus far in this thread. Yet I am a HAPPY, POSITIVE PERSON.

I do not believe that ANYONE owes anyone anything. We make our own way in the world and no one is responsible for our happiness but US. My parents did the best they could. When they had money, they spent it on their kids. When they lost everything, they helped us find sound solutions for getting through school so that WE COULD TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES.

The brother who got everything handed to him is a JERK. The brother who got nothing RESENTS my parents for it.

I feel that my parents gave me things money cannot buy: resilience, creativity, optimism, resourcefulness and independence. I never whine about my situation because if I'm unhappy about anything, I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I feel like the luckiest person on earth. I have a great marriage, two children I adore, wonderful friends, and a strong sense of who I am and what I am capable of achieving.

The "system" never let me down because I never relied on a "system." I relied on myself. Maybe you should try it.

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Anyone who has to live in Poughkeepsie is not leading a life of luxury.

Seriously though, not everyone is right for a public school. I wanted to study acting but wasn't ready for conservatory auditions which is why I went to a school with a theater program where I could focus on acting and musical theatre without exclusively doing one or the other and without exclusively acting. They don't offer that at most public schools. Plus if everyone went to publics, they would be way overcrowded. Some people need to attend the privates.

What I find frustrating is that they keep saying that having your Bachelors opens up many doors for you. That's what my mom always fed to me.

I really think that's only true in specialized fields or if you are an extremely aggressive person. Jobs that required a Bachelors 10 years ago now require Masters and more (often private depending on subject matter) and expensive schooling. I wish they would tell high schoolers that before they head to college.

If only I had heard Avenue Q before I went to school...

As annoying as some of the "Poor Little Rich Boy/Girl" talk can be sometimes (not referring to OP) so can the "I walked to school up hill both ways in the snow without shoes so you should be able to do it too" talk. While it's admirable, other things can factor into whether or not someone is able to do the full time job/full time school thing. Mental illness, support systems, pure hutzpah.

For some people a part-time job while a private school is what is right for them.

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And this Asshole would like to congratulate you- YESTERDAY you said you "hoped" you'd get a job at Chick-Fil-A; you had vowed to never work in food service again, but might have to this summer.

TODAY you have a job at Chick-Fil-A. I may be an asshole but I can sure spot a bull****ter when I see one. Congrats on that job, Capn!

Congrats! I might just take you up on that.

JoeKv is a sweetheart.

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I went to a pricey college but shaved off a year by using up all my AP credits and taking core classes during the summer at a local university for $60/credit while I worked. I wound up with $5000 debt that I paid off myself, over a few years.

For financial aid I took out loans and worked on campus. It was sheer hell with a full course load, to be honest.

"$20,000 a year for in state tuition? Damn. You guys need to move to California. My state college's tuition is nothing to complain about, but even UC schools (Berkeley, Santa Cruz, LA etc) with tuition hikes, are still less than $4000."

Just to be clear, Orangeskittles was quoting our state university system's TOTAL cost for one year - books, housing, meals, tuition and an estimated (by the university) misc. living expense of $3,000. In-state tuition for one year is $7,900.

Updated On: 5/21/08 at 10:14 AM

You lost me at making your documentary about you. A little ego maniacal don't you think? I guarantee that there are millions of people out there that are in worse shape than you and lots who were sincerely screwed by the system. A documentary about a kid from an upper middle class family whining about having a lot of debt to pay for his charmed lifestyle and extravagant choice in college would completely turn people off of the real issue which you are trying to bring to light. Don't make it about you, but rather the cause.

On the other hand...if this works out for you maybe they'll have you on the View and you can post a thread about ME ON THE VIEW!

Updated On: 5/21/08 at 05:19 PM

I guess I don't quite get your sob story. My parents could not afford to pay much for my undergrad schooling so I took out loans, got scholarships, grants etc. I worked during the summers, breaks, and tutored/TA'ed on campus. I did the same thing for grad school (full time school, full time job and a part time internship). Both were private schools because of a variety of factors. I knew what I wanted and what I needed to to do to get there. And I have gotten there.

I made it work. I do have a student loan debt and will be paying it off for many decades, but the system did not fail me. I chose to go to the schools I went to. It paid off and I am glad I chose the path I did and had to work for everything I got.

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No. It was my choice to take them out. I could have gone to other schools.

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I'm so sorry that I read your post-


like Patronus said, you're being an egomaniac with making the documentary about you. Seriously, if you think you're the only one with problems like that - you're really delusional. Or even better- there are so many people that have it so much worse off than you, but you feel the need to crap. I think you should keep ours rants to yourself and your little friends- and [if your problems are as bad as you say they are] learn how to use public transportation to get a decent job so you can stop whining and do something.

I went to a public school in North Carolina where I graduated debt free (mostly scholarships, but I paid the rest thru two part time jobs as a TA and a subway sandwich maker). I moved to New York right after school and worked, but decided to go to law school. Things like law school/med school really don't give anything but loans.... so long story short I will be graduating with $100,000+ of debt. I'll be paying it off for quite some time, but I 100% think it's a worthy investment.

As for the car thing, I also don't drive. And a lot of people don't understand what its like for a person who has a fear of driving/can't afford a car and insurance. It sucks, and I know its something that I need to get over. But its not that uncommon, and we're not "lazy" or "under-acheivers" because we don't drive. II'm not saying this as a sob story; just pointing out that for some people its a tremendous obstruction.