TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#0TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:22pm
TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the décor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
09. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
07. Checkmate
06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
04. I don't have a favorite college team.
03. You Guys.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
01 Nope, no more for me. I'm driving
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#1re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:23pm3 is my favorite!
#2re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:26pmThose are excellent! Thanks chita.
Bob Martin Online
#3re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:28pmI don't know why, but #19 struck me as the funniest,
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#4re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:29pm
what do a tornado and an Arkansas divorce have in common?
somewhere down road someone 's gonna lose a triler.
Updated On: 3/9/06 at 05:29 PM
#5re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:30pm
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
My personal favorite.
Bob Martin Online
#6re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:31pm
So Clay and Stephen--is this true? You crazy Georgians 
"Shut up! It's been 29 years!!!" --the incomparable Patti LuPone in her MUCH DESERVED Tony acceptance speech for Gypsy.
Kitzy's Avatar du Jour: Kitzy as Little Red Ridinghood in her college's production of "Into the Woods"
#7re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 5:34pm
I am not sure we are qualified to comment. We both got the hell out as soon as possible and never felt quite right when we were there.
A few that I did chuckle at because they made me think back on some particularly "southern" guys are:
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the décor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Updated On: 3/9/06 at 05:34 PM
Roscoe
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#8re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 6:10pm#31 -- I read a book.
#9re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 6:37pm
Hey now . . . I am a southern boy and I say a lot of that stuff. 
and, Roscoe--I reid gud!
#10re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 6:49pm
22 was great! But how about this:
"Billie-Sue will be spending her Junior year abroad"
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#12re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 7:09pm
sorry chita! It just came to me.
#13re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 8:04pm
Of course I am southern boy and HAVE said many of those things...who knows, maybe I was an alien (or northern) implant in my mothers womb...
Anyway here's another one:
Ma and Pa, I am going to Duke University for school!
#14re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 10:25pm
-Where was the toothbrush invented?
-Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
brdlwyr
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/14/05
#15re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 10:27pm31. Kerry was right!
ashley0139
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/3/05
#16re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 11:12pm
I am not sure we are qualified to comment. We both got the hell out as soon as possible and never felt quite right when we were there.
Oh, so that was you in the next room. I HATE the south with all my heart. I will never feel at home here. Can't wait to leave. Most of all, I hate "y'all." Makes me crings. And everyone says it.
#17re: TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
Posted: 3/9/06 at 11:17pm
Yes. Too many people who are exactly like the stereotypes described here were reason enough for me to run as fast and as far as possible.
Another one: I love New York, I am going to live there.
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