Teenage girl bullying - over clothes.- Page 2

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 10/25/07 at 8:43pm

My junior high/high school years were during the 70s. Trust me when I say this was going on then. There was no money in my house, and so the clothes I had were neither trendy nor fashionable, and certainly not flattering. I was awkward and didn't develop any kind of style sense until much later in life. Now I know how to look good on a budget, but then...I cringe.

Point being, oh yes, I was taken to task by my schoolmates for not looking like them.

[ahmelie]

Posted: 10/25/07 at 10:08pm

As a teenage girl who's in high school, I haven't really noticed this (mind you, I do go to a performing arts school... we're not exactly typical)

I mean, yeah, we talk about what people are wearing behind their back (if it's really heinous) but I've never seen someone teased openly about their dress, much less bullied.

I wear sweatpants and a sweater every day, no one gives a SH*T.

[iHeartMyGeek]

Posted: 10/25/07 at 10:10pm

Threadjack: Ahmelie, you mean you're actually AT CAPA now?! Geez, we need to meet up sometime!

[ahmelie]

Posted: 10/25/07 at 10:12pm

Indeed we do!

[supportivemom]

Posted: 10/25/07 at 10:13pm

I've never even heard of a Northface jacket! My daughter is 13 and she prides herself on not wearing any clothes that has the name of a store printed on it (Holister, Abercrombie). She dresses very fashionably but she is very practical and either buys things on sale or in discount stores like Target, Dots... Her favorite store is Delia's and she was actually disappointed when a store opened in our local mall because then more girls would discover the store. Anyway, she was wearing this really cute jumper that she got from Target to a class she had last night. As soon as she walked in, this girl, who was wearing the same top, screamed out- "Oh, I KNOW you're not wearing the exact same top I am". My daughter said it was so rude and she said nothing back- just smiled. I told her she should have yelled out- Oh, you shop at Target too! (the other girl is the daughter of a prominent orthodontist and is very snobby). Or she could have said, actually they're not the exact same, mine looke better on me! Or, why don't you go home and change because you don't look as good in it as I. My daughter is very pretty and really doesn't get into all of this. She just does her own thing, but it was fun coming up with ranks! mom

[mauriposa]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 10:51am

I had a slight problem with this in 8th grade when I swtiched from a uniformed private school to a public school. I had no fashion sense because it never mattered before what I wore to school. People made fun of me (behind my back, of course) the first couple of months, but since I didn't know any better it never bothered me. After a while, I started to change how I dressed becuase I wanted to, after discovering wardrobe options beyond the local Kmart. One day, I showed up to school wearing the same shirt as another girl, and she was pretty upset about it. I heard people comforting her during class. And I remember thinking that it must be hard for her to go through life with such low self-esteem.

[CJR]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 11:10am

Misschung, to answer you, all the uniforms had to come from the same uniform outlet store here. We actually ordered them through the school and representatives from the uniform outlet came at the beginning of the year to measure us and let our parents place their orders. We never even had to go TO the outlet.

And everything else -- shoes, sweaters and socks -- had to come off an approved list (which also listed where you could get them, both expensive and inexpensive).

There were all sorts of rules for dress down days too. Like no clothing with logos or sayings all over them.

As far as jewelry goes, well, nobody wore much. Girls had pierced ears and wore earrings, of course, but they weren't allowed to be dangly. Studs or small hoops only or you got a warning. Everything else was pretty standard and nobody really paid attention to the little things.

Now, I did go to a public high school.... and it was incredibly diverse thanks to all of Stamford's redistricting efforts. While there were plenty of problems (turf wars, you flirted with my girlfriend so now Im gonna shoot you [no, Im not kidding lol], fights and petty sh!t like that) none of it ever started with or came back to what you were wearing. Nobody really cared if you were very fashion forward. Everyone (except for the small group of yacht club yuppies I grew up with) basically marched to the beat of their own drum.

[Stagedoor2]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 12:46pm

Curse Brooke Shields and her Calvins in the early '80s. That was the stigma at my junior high -- if you didn't have Calvin Klein jeans, there was no way you were going to hang with the popular girls. Gloria Vanderbilt jeans hovered on the edge of acceptablility. This was in the middle of nowhere northern Illinois. I will say that the girls didn't bully though, they just looked down their noses at you.

I do admit to wearing and loving Uggs. They are ugly -- but they are WARM which is all I really care about.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 1:58pm

I own a Northface down coat because it was cold as balls at my university and they really are the best option when living in a place where it snows October to April. I will admit part of it was the trend factor, but after we received 180 inches of snow my freshman year, I developed a whole new appreciation for it on a purely functional basis.

[folkyboy]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 2:04pm

and my coat of many colors was worth more than all their gold

[Marlene]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 3:36pm

never a problem for me in high school or college. elementary school and middle school was a different story. i got grief earlier in elementary school partially because i didn't dress myself and partially because my mother didn't get my clothes from jcpenny's or payless... and other staples of middle class-dom in my neighborhood. (not to offend anyone, but thank goodness.) i mean other people would be happy when they showed up in the same outfits. and i was just generally more dressed up on a daily basis... so people made fun of my dresses and mary janes. oddly enough i was pick on by the kids why didn't have very nice clothes. this destroyed my little kiddie ego from the 4-5th grade and i had a big thing against dresses at that point.

middle school. well "urban/ghetto" fashion was in... and i personally didn't like it. i wore "preppy" little outfits (so I was told) to school and people made fun of my shoes. i fought the girls in the locker room because i had a really big mouth a huge competitive drive especially for someone in the "nerd class". i became really good at crying, and evoking a sense of victimization and given all the other factors in my sway so that the girls in the other class that were plain mean realized that they were going to get in to more trouble than it was worth to mess with me... oh why was gym class so f-ed up now that i think about it. such a competitive atmosphere, and it was single sex gym...

[Marlene]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 3:36pm

double post Updated On: 10/26/07 at 03:36 PM

[misschung]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 5:51pm

CJR, you're lucky! My class wasn't bad at all, and I was lucky enough that we never bullied over clothing. The younger classes, though? Scary.

I find that the North Face coats arent as warm as everyone makes them out to be. I'm such a cold wimp, though. I liked my Eddie Bauer one much more. The North Face ones are definitely more stylish, though

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 6:29pm

Mine's one of those tested to -30 degrees coats, so it definitely handles the cold. I did look at Eddie Bauer coats, but they cost even more than the Northface ones.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 6:34pm

In junior high, if you didn't have a Lightning Bolt 3/4-sleeve hoodie, Panama Jack shirt, OP pants or Vans checkerboard slip-ons (mine had laces, so I was verbally abused for having the wrong kind of Vans), then you might as well be riding the short bus. Parachute pants were very highly respected, but only for a year. I had a pair, but was already labeled a nerd, dork and a fag, so I quickly learned that I would be bullied no matter what I wore, so by high school, I wore whatever the f*ck I wanted and wore it with confidence. It helped that all my friends were Juniors and Seniors during my Freshman year, but the fag and gay insults were nonstop. The best way I knew to deal with it was to come out. It was a risky move in the mid-80s in a then-secluded Houston suburb, but it paid off. By the time I graduated there were only a couple of bullies too cowardly to do say anything to me or my friends. They relied on vandalization and were eventually caught, arrested and received jail time. I've never been bullied by anyone since then.

Yup...that's me...senior year 1988. Out and proud and I still have that sweater (orange was my signature color, that's how gay I was) and Monopoly watch. You can't see my orange Converse high tops, but they were autographed by all my friends and hung from the flies of the theatre department (of which I wasn't actually a member) as a good luck charm for their productions that year. Good times. I'm proud of who I was then and proud of who I am now. Hopefully, some of those being bullied can learn to be proud of themselves one day as well.

Updated On: 10/26/07 at 06:34 PM

[supportivemom]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 6:54pm

Mr. Matt- Ha! Thanks for sharing. You win the prize for being the bravest to dig up an old picture. It's funny that you grew up in suburban Houston yet all the clothes described are more like beach wear- at least that's what the kids wore here in Florida! mom

[DG]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 7:25pm

Mister Matt - I SO would have had a crush on you in high school

[misschung]

Posted: 10/26/07 at 8:53pm

Mine's one of those tested to -30 degrees coats

Okay, I need to get one of those for Christmas. I'm basically always cold. My friends laugh at my layers, hehe

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 10/29/07 at 9:58am

supportivemom - Actually, the climate in Houston is very similar to much of Florida. Hot and humid 10 months of the year. And the beaches of Galveston were less than an hour away, unattractive as they may be.

Updated On: 10/30/07 at 09:58 AM

[CJR]

Posted: 10/29/07 at 4:15pm

I also admit to wearing Uggs. I was opposed to them for the LONGEST time because I thought they were so ghastly ugly (I still think they are and I own 4 pairs), but after the blizzard we had in January 05 (and I was snowed-in at the Warwick hotel in the city for 5 days) I decided I HAD to have them. Now they're my winter staple.

As for Northface, well I never really understood that whole trend. I am just as warm in my Old Navy Fleece or generic winter jacket at a portion of the price.

[misschung]

Posted: 10/29/07 at 4:16pm

I like Uggs, but they aren't waterproof. And where I live, we constantly have that thick, wet snow that just seeps through the material.

And yeah, I had an Old Navy jacket for years that I loved. Then it started falling apart and they had discontinued the style, so I had to resort to a more expensive brand

[gertiecummings]

Posted: 10/30/07 at 1:33am

I refuse to wear Crocs. They are the ugliest f*cking shoes ever!!!!!

[ScottyDoesn'tKnow]

Posted: 10/30/07 at 2:01am

I agree. I'd have no qualms with bullying any ADULT who'd wear Crocs.

Updated On: 10/30/07 at 02:01 AM

[folkyboy]

Posted: 10/30/07 at 9:59am

i'm with the anti-Crocs comments. Crocs are HORRIFIC!

i did love my Reebock Pumps in school, though.

[AudreyTwoTwo]

Posted: 10/30/07 at 10:47am

that happened to my friend. She didn't have abercrombie and the cheerleaders bullied her for it.
They don't bother me, of course, because I'm just the theatre geek lol