The Official (And Original) Random Thread--It's BACK, biotches!! — Page 257

and see, i'm going with the

"i'll let you touch my boobies" appeal.

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"I'm naked and writhing as I write this to you. Now? Please?"

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"if you let me in, i'll cum"


did i really just say that?

um yeah you did BST!

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**nods in agreement**

Tiff is a bad influence and she needs to get laid.. maybe that will set hre right.??

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haha ok dear.. you do that..

**wanders off whistling innocently**

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I came on here trying to bring some positively to the threads and all you two have done is disrespect me. How dare you quote yourself and then blame me for it. I have done nothing to make myself sound superior or make you feel inferior. But if you feel inferior, it's probably because you are. I mean, who are you to talk down to me and disrespect my personal boundaries about getting laid? I am a 20-year-old virgin with TWO learning disabilities, and because I'm a subtle person, I won't tell you that their names are Verbositingus and Stupidity, and that I got into college because of my many achievements. Perhaps you've heard of it. It's called Princeton. That's right. Princeton Community College adjacent to the 7-11, across from Big Pita Palace. And I got in. AND when I was 8, I learned the alphabet off my heart. I mean, I've got a learning disability, in case you didn't know, so I mean, the alphabets look more like Hindu, but I tried. And did I tell you that I've got a learning disability? And a virgin? (I swear it's self-induced. I induce myself on others and they run away.)

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Updated On: 1/21/05 at 04:51 AM

night cammy!

ah....raggy's so entertaining.

she's like a blind puppy that keeps running into walls.

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yeah you are tiff.

by the way, i'm quite insulted that you had no reaction to my "if you let me in, i'll cum" gem.

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which means you loved it.

and you want to have my babies.

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Oh! And Attn: Ellie!! (From www.u2.com)

20.01.2005
'Vertigo Tour' to Be Announced Monday !

It's 'The Vertigo Tour', dates are announced on Monday, Kings of Leon are on
board and U2.Com will have the itinerary first.

U2.Com has learnt that the band's 2005 'Vertigo Tour' will kick off on the
west coast of the US in late March and arrive in Europe for the summer.

We've also had it confirmed that Kings of Leon, with their mesmerising brand
of southern garage rock, will be playing support in the US.
Keep checking back on U2.Com for more tour news - on Monday we'll publish
the full tour announcement.

(We'll also be mailing U2.Com Members with details of how they can participate in the ticket presale next week)

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Bst..I hate to say this, but you can't marry my wife. It's illegal, since we're not mormon. I wish she'd remember that too. (btw, if you need help with that frustration wifey...you know how to remedy that problem)

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Ellie's Elevator Horror Stories No.4625745

WARNING - This post is of Raggy/Staci proportions. Read if you so desire...but beware of nightmares.


So today I was on an elevator. As the doors slid open, I scanned the bodies aboard, assessing their weight, height, health and cleanliness. Judging them worthy of my presence, I stepped on, and pressed my floor. As we rose to the next floor, for some reason my heart began pounding, my temples throbbed and my palms became sweaty.

With a loud 'ding' , my fears were confirmed when a sweaty, tracksuited, overweight monster wedged himself in...I knew then it was too late for any chance of escape, so I closed my eyes, prayed for survival, and waited for my ordeal to be over. With the elevator juddering alarmingly, due to his enormous bulk, I take a deep breath. True to form, he barges his way over to me, sweat dripping from his every pore, his cheeks as red as a smacked arse, and his armpits as moist as Idina at bedtime. The effort to disguise my revulsion failing miserably, I couldn't help but physically recoil. I swallowed hard, desperately trying to prevent myself from vomitting.

As we reached the next floor, I made fleeting eye-contact with a fellow hostage, terror in her eyes. We were in this thing together - or so I thought until the bitch made a swift exit at her earliest opportunity. So much for bonding in times of crisis. Now alone, I realized it would take all of my resources to escape this nightmare intact, and unscathed...

Edging back along the elevator mirror, I tried in vain to slide along to 'the other side', to a safe haven, an oasis, a place where his flying beads of sweat couldn't reach my delicate, porcelain skin. Alas, now turning bright blue from holding my breath, I make a fatal error, and splutter uncontrollably. With a loud grunt, this creature turns slowly and faces me, opening his white-flek ridden mouth wide. I tell you I nearly screamed. I thought he was going to eat me.

'Y'alright?' he wheezes, mercilessly, taunting me with his every speck of spit. Clinging with all my might to the bar along the side, I mumble 'F-f-ine...'. Noticing his flowery headband and and grotesquely overgrown sideburns, I couldn't help but wonder...where this ****er come from? The summer of '69?

With that, my prayers were answered, and the doors slid open, the bright lights of freedom blinding me. Thank you lord, thank you, I whispered as the lump waddled off, hopefully never to be seen again...

This is not the first of these incidents. When will I learn?? Elevators - no. Stairs - yes.

Updated On: 1/21/05 at 07:22 PM