The Official Raúl E. Esparza "Spread the Love" Thread — Page 311

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#7751

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:28pm

You can't even contact your editor? No offense, but that sounds like a pretty poorly-run paper. Then again, I wish there were times my editor wouldn't contact me...like now, when I'm supposed to be turning in my article tonight but I haven't even started to write it yet.

This is so random, but I've had "You Two" stuck in my head for the past week (I actually started singing it at work today). The only way I know how to get songs unstuck from my head is to listen to them, but the only copy of "You Two" available is Michael Ball's. Which is okay, but IT'S NOT RAUL! *sniff* And it's not working. So now I'm singing and dancing around my room instead of working on my article.

Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

#7752

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:29pm

Yeah, you'd think it would be really organized, right?

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7753

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:31pm

You absolutely deserve an answer if it involves other plans and all! Would it be worth it to keep your plans with her (if they are with her) and to try to work this out in person instead of rushing, even though it has already been a drawn out process?

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

#7754

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:33pm

Well, we won't have a lot of time together, so ideally, we'd have it worked out by then and would be able to enjoy the time.

Remember I posted that the girl next door was singing? It's a song about losing people. The world is conspiring against me. It's that song from Peal Harbor:

"I'll keep a part of you with me, and everywhere I am, there you'll be..."

I just keep thinking about how many things that used to be hysterical and wonderful will be tainted if I let this end badly Too many good things will remind me me of it.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 07:33 PM

#7755

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:39pm

Oh no! *yells at girl very politely to stop singing*

Since nothing else has worked, can you just ask her about the plans? Tell her that you hope you'll still be seeing her and that you'll be able to have a good time? Even if you are able to work it out, it'd probably be awkward seeing each other for the first time after something like this. Unless you'll be able to just give each other a big hug and then have lots of fun.

ETA (I almost wrote EAT instead): We don't want that to happen to all your memories! Maybe you can remind her of some of those times as a sort of mirror to show her all that she'd be giving up and to remind her that you can work through whatever is going on because you're you and she's she and it's so worth it.

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 07:39 PM

#7756

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:46pm

I think I'd call it "see, I can belt, I swear!" shouting.

The thing is, if we don't work this out, I don't think we'll be able to enjoy the time together; there will be waaaaay too much left unsaid. And as it stands now, I think we both feel that way. That it won't be pleasant at all, and if we don't work this out we may as well call it off -- the trouble now is whether or not that's what's wanted. I think that in a way, being together in person could be helpful; when you can actually look into someone's eyes, instead of just seeing their words on a screen. Maybe that's too sappy of me, but I think it's true. I think the awkwardness would fade away, because you can tell so much truth by just having someone there in front of you.

ETA -- her take on that, Alix, seems to be that once the wounds do fade, you'll still have nice memories and you can take those good things away with you. I think wounds heal much faster for her than they do for me, though, making that take the total opposite of mine.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 07:46 PM

#7757

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:49pm

Oh my! *make it stop please!*

Exactly, which is why I asked about the possibility of seeing each other. I think once you're standing there in front of her, it will be easier for her to open up and to really see all that she'd be missing, to realize how much you mean to each other. Also, when she sees in your eyes how much you want this and all your sincerity, it should help her stand up to match what you've been giving her. Maybe it's worth it to not enjoy this visit, because if you can fix this in that time, you'll have many more wonderful visits in the future. And if you can't fix it, that too should be done in person. You shouldn't end it online and then never see each other again - for both of your sakes.

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 07:49 PM

#7758

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 7:53pm

She's stopped for the moment, but she was quite flat. Tragic!

I think if we were to take a break from each other until the day we're supposed to get together, it's a bit risky, but I'd be willing to take that risk. But convincing her might be very hard. It's a lot to open yourself up to, and reluctance is also likely, because honestly, it's probably difficult to accept a promise that goes "I won't bring it up, let's just enjoy this and forget about it."

I've always told people who haven't met me that I wish they could see my eyes, because they're really expressive. I think you're exactly right, and that it could be a good thing. Then we're real to each other.

I'd probably see her and start to cry.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7759

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:01pm

Well, even if you continue your communication online as it's been going, maybe you could agree to see each other on that day, no matter what - either for confirmation of what you've already decided or in order to work it out. I think the decision needs to be finalized or acknowledged in person, no matter what it is.

That'd probably actually be a good thing that you'd start to cry because then she would probably start to cry and once you're in that place together, you can work from there. And even if she doesn't cry and is in a different place than you, at least she sees your emotion in front of her. The screens will be taken down, figuratively and literally.

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 08:01 PM

#7760

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:06pm

I feel like I need to.... to almost force even a willingness to commuicate constructively. Right now, everything is so harsh. I wish I could at least get her to be civil, because I honestly don't know if underneath the anger, she wants to work this out. I sure as hell hope so. See? It's all a huge domino effect.

After meeting so many people in person, though, I still think it holds a LOT of importance. Much, much more often than not, you see that they're everything you expected, in a good way.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7761

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:12pm

Taking into consideration everything that's already happened, maybe the only way to force constructive communication is in person and so that's what has to be done. It sounds like she does want to work it out if she's putting energy into being angry and into avoiding telling you the truth, because, in her heart, she's probably made her decision - that she wants this relationship - but doesn't know how to get there. However, it can't simply be that she tells you that, even in person, and that all is well. After everything you've been through, you deserve more than that, a discussion of her behavior, when you're both ready for that. And maybe you will be if you meet in person.

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

#7762

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:16pm

I think you're right. It's just very, very hard not have no idea what's going on or what to do.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7763

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:20pm

Yea.

Well, maybe if you agree to meet, you'll be able to take some comfort in knowing that it will be sorted through soon and that you won't have to go on in this state for a seemingly endless amount of time.

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

#7764

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:33pm

I can't imagine anyone wanting to stay on bad terms forever. Maybe she is just confused. Hopefully she will come around and you two can begin to make things better.

I think I survived the storms.

#7765

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:38pm

yay! glad you're back from scary hiding.

No Child: http://www.epictheatrectr.org/
I Love You Because OCR: http://www.psclassics.com/cd_iloveyou.html

#7766

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:41pm

Glad you're safe. Are they all gone now?

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7767

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:46pm

They are out of my town! But I don't think they are over. Eeep. I hate storms.

I'm listening to Company. And can I just saw how ridiculously excited I am for this? I mean... Raúl singing "Barcelona" might be enough to off me.

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 08:46 PM

#7768

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:48pm

I think you should probably put the paramedics on alert when you see it! How far is Cincinatti for you? Or will you be going from NY at that point?

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7769

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:50pm

I think that's a smart idea!

It's about a 5-6 hour drive from Nashville. But I'll be living in NYC by then. So I'll most likely just fly in for a weekend.

Oh, did I mention that I'll be back in the city from Dec. 1st - 5th. I'm excited!

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 08:50 PM

#7770

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:55pm

YAY! That's almost final exam time for me.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7771

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:57pm

Ugh, everyone's seeing Chitty more than me! Stupid school. I'm trying to get back into NYC in early December. I probably won't be able to see Chitty again, I already have a couple other shows that have time limits on them that are earlier than Chitty's. But if those don't work out, I'll be back at Chitty.

Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

#7772

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 8:58pm

Really? Eeep!

I'm actually going to be staying at Columbia. It will just be a quick trip, though. And then I have another short trip at the end of December for... a sad day.

I just need to hurry up and move there.

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 08:58 PM

#7773

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 9:02pm

SOOON!

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#7774

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 9:07pm

I hope Mr. E comes back to Broadway after Company.

#7775

a complex fellow

Posted: 11/15/05 at 9:09pm

g, I need to hurry up and move there too. But I have a year and a half before that's possible.

I just hope my parents don't figure out that those charges on my bursar's account they're paying are all bus tickets until then.

Crap, that's right. Exams. So I'm definitely going sometime that week that's Nov-Dec. Hmm. *ponders*

Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

Updated On: 11/15/05 at 09:09 PM

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